This morning my mother called with “an important question”:
Mom: Can you talk?
Me: Well, I’m at work.
Mom: It’s important. I found something weird in your old closet.
Me: Okay……what is it?
Mom: It’s a trucker hat and it says, “Wine ‘em, dine ‘em, sixty-nine ‘em.”
Me: Oh, I remember that! I got it for my 16th birthday.
Mom: So what’s sixty-nine?
Me: Haha, oh my god, what? Look it up. The hat was in a movie and it was just a joke gift.
Mom: What does it mean?
Me: Mom, please! Just look it up on the internet!
Mom (flustered, tapping keys): Fine. Why do you get embarrassed so easily?
Me: Hello? Did you find it?
Mom: Oh. Why do you know what that is?! WHY do you have CLOTHES that SUPPORT it?
Me: I know, it’s so gross. I learned about it on the internet, too. Welp, gotta go.
2 hours later I received the following email:
I threw away that hat. You don’t need to wear that to be sexy-cool or to get a guy to like you. Be yourself, Young Lady! You’re beautiful and if it isn’t someone you already know, then you will meet a great guy who respects you and thinks you’re cool and he will love you just as you are! It’s true and you deserve it! Know yourself, stay positive and be clear about your intentions and the right situations will come into your life. LOVE YOU.
You might say my mom and I are on different levels. We always have been. I’ve never worn that hat and I don’t know where she got the idea that I was wearing it to be “sexy-cool” (or where she got the term “sexy-cool,” for that matter). Despite all things crazy about that email, she did make a good point: be yourself. Positive things and good people come to those who accept, love, and respect themselves. Like attracts like. I dig that. Thanks, mom.