My long-lost sister at pigeonheartponderings was kind enough to include me in her top 7 favorite blogs. She is a favorite of mine, too! She was the first one I followed and to follow my blog, and I am grateful for her humor and insight. She has asked me to answer the following questions and then share some of my favorite blogs! So..here we go.
1. What is the best thing that happened to you in the last 36 hours?
My mother forced me to go to the Pennsylvania Dutch Amish market. There, among the many treats, was a hot dog in a pretzel bun. It was fucking delicious. Thank you, jesus, for inventing hot dogs. They are the reason I live.
2. What are your pet peeves?
When someone removes a bottle cap from a beer bottle and just leaves it out on the counter (hi men, this is for you). I am not a collector of bottle caps, sir, nor am I your maid. Clean it up.
3. Did you have an imaginary friend growing up or did you want one? Tell us all! When did you part ways? Was it gradual? Im so jealous! I always wanted one but never got one!
I had 2 imaginary friends. They were a mermaid and a turtle that lived in the sewer. Every day during the summer, I would bike down the street on my hot pink Huffy to the sewer drain and call down to them. The mermaid was named Adonna Rainbows and the turtle was named Turtle. Appropriate. We had lengthy conversations about all kinds of crap and we sang many songs. One might say this was before I found friends–so…basically we parted ways last November. Naaah, just kidding, we still chat.
4. If you had the power to declare a national holiday what would you declare and why?
I’d like to declare every October 1st “kick a douchey guy day.” This also happens to be my birthday, and I’d love nothing more than to walk around seeing douche bags getting kicked. Happy Birthday to me. Feel free to spill something on his Ed Hardy shirt while you’re at it.
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? (You have the capital for this one, don’ worry)
London, England. That place makes me think I was born in the wrong country. I could go on and on about why, but I won’t bore you.
6. What do you think of celebrity gossip?
Unless it involves naked photos of Daniel Craig, I care not.
7. What’s the theme song of your day, week, year, or life?
8. If you came with a warning label what would it be about?
Caution: May cause excitability and restlessness. For animal use only.
9. Favorite quote or joke that you made up?
When Will Smith walks in the snow, does he leave fresh prints?
Hair on things drives me absolutely insane so I walk around with a lint roller like a damn hair nazi. I torture myself by having long hair and owning a dog with long hair, too. Together we shed enough in a day to create wigs for an entire doll army.
11. Best pick up line anyones’ ever fed ya?
Guy: I was just talking to my brother and we’re wondering if you have any greek in you?
Guy: Do you want some?
12. Tell us something embarrassing about your brain.
Sometimes when I am out in public and there is an unexpected mirror, I will look in it and honestly think, “oh I know that girl!” and then I realize that girl happens to be me. Yikes.
Here are 6 more blogs that I enjoy. These are all wonderful ladies. Each is witty in her own way and they all inspire me. I invite you to check out these bitches:
1. sweetmotherlover.wordpress.com - Original, funny and honest. I enjoy following her life and I really feel like I am getting to know her. Yup, in a creepy way.
2. richfulllife.wordpress.com - Rachelle (like the Seinfeld episode!) recounts some very funny experiences, has great ideas, and I enjoy her local homeless man. It is likely that we were sisters in another life. Props.
3. jeandayfriday.wordpress.com - A funny mom–what I would like to be someday
4. kourtneyheintz.wordpress.com - A talented, aspiring author and cool lady… as long as you don’t mention ketchup.
5. carrierubin.com - Carrie is publishing a novel this year! Congrats! She is a very funny healthcare professional gone writer. She keeps me going an I love reading about her writing journey.
6. snarkysnatch.wordpress.com - Hilarious and clever. Vaginas. Douche bags. Online dating. I love her and I just can’t get enough.