On Air Sex World Championships

13 Apr

I am going to pop out of my shell today and share something called the Air Sex World Championships. It’s like air guitar, except it’s sex and there are less rules. Contestants have 2 minutes to perform an Air Sex routine. The routine can include all phases of a sexual encounter. Props are allowed, teams are allowed and talking is allowed. The only important rule is that all sexual climaxes must be simulated. Sex judges are comedians, musicians, artists and press. They choose 3 acts who return for a final round that is performed to a mystery song.

I want to do it. I’m serious. Those of you who know me are thinking there is no way I would go through with it, right? Do not doubt me, my friends. I finally have a calling and it is the Air Sex World Championships. We all knew my calling would be something that would better the world.

Since teams are allowed, SnarkySnatch, will you do me the honor of performing with me? What better day to say yes than this day–Friday the Fuck Buddy 13th? You know you want to, don’t hold back. We would be good at it and our performance would be wicked hot. My brain (among other things) is already flooding with ideas. I don’t know about you, but I will have to practice simulating an orgasm since I’ve never faked an orgasm in my life. Let’s do it. You pick the song.

25 Responses to “On Air Sex World Championships”

  1. Kyle April 13, 2012 at 10:32 am #

    awesome
    you have already earned yourself a fan

    Like

  2. Sv April 13, 2012 at 10:41 am #

    Have u been drinking all day at work again?

    Like

    • La La April 13, 2012 at 10:44 am #

      That has only happened once, Susan. I learned my lesson.

      Like

  3. snarkysnatch April 13, 2012 at 10:45 am #

    Hahaha! I would love to peform with you. I have the purrrfect boots to wear. Kyle can be our coach.

    Like

  4. Kyle April 13, 2012 at 10:56 am #

    Reblogged this on kylemew.com and commented:

    a new olympic sport has been discovered

    Like

  5. crubin April 13, 2012 at 11:14 am #

    That video was like a car wreck–I couldn’t take my eyes off of it even though I knew I should. Us old married ladies rely on bloggers like you to keep us current on all that is sexual. Especially since the end of “Sex and the City.” (And sadly, that last reference dates me even more…)

    Like

    • La La April 13, 2012 at 11:33 am #

      Haha, this made me laugh. Us single ladies probably provide many reasons you are all happy to be wed.

      Like

      • crubin April 13, 2012 at 11:41 am #

        Well, there’s that too…

        Like

  6. snarkysnatch April 13, 2012 at 4:51 pm #

    Song: I Feel Love Donna Summer …. anything by NIN… my personal suggestion would be a song sung by the Muppets Sweedish Chef. You think he ever covered Chocolate Balls by Issac Hayes? I think I will seriously do this. Might be the best sex I have all year.

    Sex is like air you know… it’s not important until your not getting any.

    Like

    • La La April 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm #

      If he hasn’t covered it, we should make a request. I keep imagining him singing the part “just put em in your mouth and suck em” and giggling.

      Like

  7. Pigeon Heart April 14, 2012 at 12:41 pm #

    shut the fuck UP! I’m in too! 3 of us! I can not believe that this really exists!!!!!!! I want to do it tooooooooooooooo!!

    Like

    • La La April 14, 2012 at 1:20 pm #

      Right? You’re so in!

      Like

      • Pigeon Heart April 14, 2012 at 1:35 pm #

        !! Drrreamyyy

        Like

        • The Hook April 17, 2012 at 1:49 pm #

          Certainly sounds dreamy! I think the three of you would be worthy of starring in a Vivid Video production – if they handled simulated sex, that is!

          Like

  8. iamacallboy April 16, 2012 at 12:49 am #

    Air Sex… fuck to the yes… this is perfect for people like me… it’s the rock star equivalent for call girls/boys…

    Like

  9. Carolina Courtland April 16, 2012 at 3:51 pm #

    OMG. I never heard of this before. LOL

    Like

  10. The Hook April 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm #

    Super HAWT post, young lady! Great work!
    I wonder if I could get permission from my wife to watch SIMULATED girl-on-girl action?

    Like

    • La La April 17, 2012 at 2:00 pm #

      Wow you really liked this one, didn’t ya? haha.

      Like

  11. Kourtney Heintz April 17, 2012 at 5:41 pm #

    I love that this is your calling. :P Best of luck!

    Like

  12. anibogh May 28, 2013 at 4:49 pm #

    Coming from a very traditional culture, i found this especially amusing. I must point out also, his mustache goes quite well with his performance.

    Like

    • La La May 28, 2013 at 5:55 pm #

      It’s a perfect mustache–nice and pervy.

      Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I Like My Vodka Like I Like My Relationships: On The Rocks « snarkysnatch - April 15, 2012

    [...] Rachel Ray trying to get her husband back.  I felt like such a tosser.  I thought about having air sex but then I realized I didn’t have any condoms or air freshener.   Sex is like air you [...]

    Like

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