I still don’t look like Fergie.

19 Apr

Today I got my 500th “like.” Thank you, people of the internets–much love. Here is one reason I began blogging in the first place:

Over the past 8 months, 4 different people, all strangers, have told me I look like Fergie. I don’t look like Fergie. I don’t think she’s looking so hot these days (though her body stays vicious, indeed–fair enough, Fergie Ferg).

In 1989, I remember dancing my tiny 5-year-old ass off while watching her perform The Locomotion on Kids Incorporated and thinking I wanted to be her (she’s the one in the middle):

 

Side note, look how cute little Jennifer Love Hewitt is on the right. Who knew she would grow those boobs or get vajazzled? Not I.

These days, if someone comments, “You look like Fergie,” is it a compliment?  No. Why? Because I think Fergie and Carrot Top look like plastic face twins. So…

 

If Fergie

=

Carrot Top

 

then Fergie and/or Carrot Top

=

Me

And seriously, fuck Carrot Top. He reminds me of a nightmare I once had about the circus. Just thinking about him raises my blood pressure. I guess none of this really matters because I don’t look like Fergie and Carrot Top, so there’s no problem here and there was no reason to rant about this in the first place. Right? Right. Whatever those 4 people saw shall remain unknown and will haunt me for the rest of my days. Unless, of course, one of you sees the resemblance. If so, please come forth. Choose your words wisely.

43 Responses to “I still don’t look like Fergie.”

  1. terry1954 April 19, 2012 at 3:14 pm #

    congrats!

    Like

  2. Kyle April 19, 2012 at 3:24 pm #

    i hope that i was your 501st

    Like

  3. becca3416 April 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm #

    No ma’am, you do not look like Fergie at all to me! I get that I look like Donna on that 70’s show. I don’t see it.

    Like

    • La La April 19, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

      Your fair skin and hair must trick people!

      Like

  4. Mari Sanchez Cayuso April 19, 2012 at 3:38 pm #

    Rest your doubt, zero similarity :)

    Like

  5. crubin April 19, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    I see no similarity. You, of course, are much prettier. :)

    My only question is, why has no director cast Carrot Top as a deranged scary villain in a movie? Wouldn’t he be the most hideous, creepy bad guy?!

    Like

    • La La April 19, 2012 at 4:09 pm #

      Nonsense. Who do you look like?

      Like

      • crubin April 19, 2012 at 4:13 pm #

        I have been told Laura Dern. Which I suppose is better than Carrot Top, but I would prefer a young Heather Locklear.

        Oh, come now, we’re all allowed our delusions, aren’t we?…

        Like

        • La La April 19, 2012 at 4:28 pm #

          Oh wow I see that. Laura Dern is beautiful!

          Like

          • crubin April 19, 2012 at 4:32 pm #

            Wish I could claim to be years younger than her. But I’m…well…let’s just leave it at that…

            Like

    • La La April 19, 2012 at 4:10 pm #

      And yes, a perfect creepy bad guy!!

      Like

  6. The Hook April 19, 2012 at 4:12 pm #

    500 and counting!
    And I think you looklike that hot blogger.. what’s her name?
    oh yeah, La La!

    Like

  7. Random April 19, 2012 at 4:16 pm #

    For awhile, I regularly had people (strangers and friends alike) tell me I looked like Val Kilmer. (This was when he and I were both younger.) I never saw it myself, but I had to wonder when random people came up to me and said the same thing.

    For what it’s worth, I don’t think you look like Fergie. (And it should go without saying that you definitely don’t look like Carrot Top. *shudder*)

    Like

    • La La April 19, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

      Your opinion is always appreciated, Val ;-)

      Like

  8. junelikethemonth April 19, 2012 at 6:05 pm #

    Ok, first, thank you for reminding me of that show, I totally forgot about it…second,wow, didn’t ever connect the dots about who those cute kids turned out to be…
    And lastly, you in no way,shape,or form look like fergie, and yes dear, take that as a compliment lol

    Like

    • La La April 19, 2012 at 6:18 pm #

      K-I-D-S! wooaaaah looks like we made it, we’re Kids Incorporated! :-)

      Like

  9. iamacallboy April 19, 2012 at 6:09 pm #

    I cannot forgive you for burning the image of Carrot Top into my mind every time I look at Fergie now.

    Like

    • La La April 19, 2012 at 6:16 pm #

      Apologies. I’m kinda right though, no? At least in some photos….

      Like

      • iamacallboy April 19, 2012 at 6:29 pm #

        No, you’re totally right, and also, you look NOTHING like Fergie. You’re a beautiful you full of you-ness.

        Like

  10. ladymiryaa April 20, 2012 at 12:25 am #

    You are gorgeous….Fergie is NOT! You look nothing like her!

    Like

    • La La April 20, 2012 at 1:29 am #

      Bless you. Glad I found out we are quite a bit alike while tipsily stalking you at 1:30 am :-)

      Like

  11. kelsgonebush April 20, 2012 at 10:38 am #

    This is really awesome for me ! For the last however many years since The Black Eyed Peas became famous I have had the same thing happen .. I don’t see the resemblance and I am NOT flattered at all ! I can safely say I feel your pain Xx Kel

    Like

    • La La April 20, 2012 at 10:48 am #

      No way. That is so funny! I’m glad we can at least experience this together.

      Like

  12. jeandayfriday April 20, 2012 at 12:11 pm #

    La La, you do not resemble Fergie at all! I never before noticed the frightening resemblance between Ferg and Carrot Top. Scary! Everyone thinks I look like Kathy Najimy and Megan Mullally, I don’t see it.

    Like

  13. Lafemmeroar April 20, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

    lol on Fergie and Carrot Top! The resemblance between them is unsettling. Could they be sibs from another womb?

    P.S. Your pic looks nothing like Fergie. Cute pic :)

    Like

  14. Viciously Sweet April 20, 2012 at 8:08 pm #

    Congratulations on the likes, girl! I’m reading this and liking it like crazy.
    And no you don’t look like Fergie… I think she’s cute too though. But you are beautiful on your own, and with no resemblance to her!
    Are you always in the gym working on your fitness, or something? Are you always phunking with peoples hearts?

    Like

    • La La April 21, 2012 at 12:16 pm #

      You caught me, queen of phunking with peoples hearts and being up in the gym.

      Like

  15. chrisdevoss April 21, 2012 at 11:38 pm #

    I don’t look like Fergie either…something we have in common. We could become soul sisters, except I’m not a girl.

    Like

  16. ~Robin~ April 23, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

    haha never saw the resemblance before… but now I can’t help but see it! They look like they were separated at birth! I do not (however) see a resemblance between you and Fergie (or carrot top for that matter), but people tend to see different things. I’ve had people tell me (several times) that I look like Jennifer Tilly – I greatly dislike her btw. I think they’re all on crack, but it is what it is. Great post!

    Like

  17. Ritchie April 23, 2012 at 11:24 pm #

    HAHA! You’re killing me, that was a really fun post. I can’t believe you put beloved Fergie next to that freakshow! I guess she may be looking a little rough but what’s bitch gonna do? Heh, I once had a dream about Fergie, she and I were in a relationship but we were having problems. I woke up and was like “fucking fuck, I can’t even fantasize without emotional issues.”

    Like

    • La La April 23, 2012 at 11:32 pm #

      I just read that and my laughter echoed throughout my house. Why can’t we dream cool stuff? I’m about to go to bed–they best stay out of my dreams. That would be the weirdest 3 some ever.

      Like

  18. Trip X April 26, 2012 at 10:17 am #

    You’re right, you don’t look like Fergie. You look much cuter and hotter than Fergie. Love that smile!

    Like

  19. bowzerscastle April 27, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

    you look nothing like fergie. you are beautiful. and so is jennifer love hewitt.

    Like

  20. Kourtney Heintz April 29, 2012 at 6:42 pm #

    No you definitely do not look like Fergie. Though she does look suspiciously like Carrot Top. :) I would have said you look like a young Liv Tyler mixed with a dash of Zoe Deschanel.

    Like

    • La La April 30, 2012 at 10:14 am #

      Wow, that is such a nice compliment. Thank you! They are both so beautiful.

      Like

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