How do you feel about tarot? The reading was free and I will admit that I have always wondered how it would go down, so I tried it the other day. She told me some interesting things:
1. Your great-grandmother on your dad’s side who you did not meet is watching out for you. I did some research the next day and interestingly, the great-grandmother she was referring to grew up in a poor town in Sicily. Filippa enjoyed writing and was the only child out of 6 who went to school. She never expanded her craft because she had lots of babies.
2. You are going to write a funny book. Heck yes! I’d love to write a funny book, even if I have no idea where to begin.
3. You will meet a guy (you do not know him yet) who you will want nothing to do with, but you will eventually say, “Eh, you’ll do.” You will never get married.
She kept talking, but I didn’t hear any of it. I know it’s just tarot cards, but it still surprised me. I’m single and I want to fall in love and get married. I don’t want to say, “Eh, you’ll do.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love this independent woman thing. I own my house and car and I work hard. Living alone is fun, even if I had to strengthen my arms to lift my lawnmower. I get to walk around in my panties, sing and dance and I enjoy the fuck out of myself.
I guess I just always assumed that someday I would fall in love and get married and my husband and I would dance in our underwear together. Plus, it would be nice to have someone to reach high places and kill all the bugs that I pretend aren’t there….and I would like that person to be my husband, who I love.
When she finished, I challenged her and said, “Oh yeah? Do it again.” She shuffled and believe it or not, that Beloved One card flipped right back out of the deck. The other cards were the same, too! Marriage isn’t everything, I know. I still think it would be fun. I’ll stay hopeful, despite past heartache and despite all the weird guys I meet (e.g., on a date the other day, a guy told me he once gave his friend a blow job for coke).
This weekend, when I discard my extra ticket for the Mary Poppins musical, I’ll smile because Mary Poppins wasn’t married, and she did some cool shit. And hey, she had Bert. Bert was neat.
If I do fall in love and get married, I am going to travel back in time (when they invent the machine, of course) and visit my shy, fat, headgear wearing 12-year-old self and exclaim, “We did it, bitch!” and disappear into the mist. That is the #1 thing on my time travel agenda. 12-year-old me needs this.