How do you feel about tarot? The reading was free and I will admit that I have always wondered how it would go down, so I tried it the other day. She told me some interesting things:
1. Your great-grandmother on your dad’s side who you did not meet is watching out for you. I did some research the next day and interestingly, the great-grandmother she was referring to grew up in a poor town in Sicily. Filippa enjoyed writing and was the only child out of 6 who went to school. She never expanded her craft because she had lots of babies.
2. You are going to write a funny book. Heck yes! I’d love to write a funny book, even if I have no idea where to begin.
3. You will meet a guy (you do not know him yet) who you will want nothing to do with, but you will eventually say, “Eh, you’ll do.” You will never get married.
Wait….what?
She kept talking, but I didn’t hear any of it. I know it’s just tarot cards, but it still surprised me. I’m single and I want to fall in love and get married. I don’t want to say, “Eh, you’ll do.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love this independent woman thing. I own my house and car and I work hard. Living alone is fun, even if I had to strengthen my arms to lift my lawnmower. I get to walk around in my panties, sing and dance and I enjoy the fuck out of myself.
I guess I just always assumed that someday I would fall in love and get married and my husband and I would dance in our underwear together. Plus, it would be nice to have someone to reach high places and kill all the bugs that I pretend aren’t there….and I would like that person to be my husband, who I love.
When she finished, I challenged her and said, “Oh yeah? Do it again.” She shuffled and believe it or not, that Beloved One card flipped right back out of the deck. The other cards were the same, too! Marriage isn’t everything, I know. I still think it would be fun. I’ll stay hopeful, despite past heartache and despite all the weird guys I meet (e.g., on a date the other day, a guy told me he once gave his friend a blow job for coke).
This weekend, when I discard my extra ticket for the Mary Poppins musical, I’ll smile because Mary Poppins wasn’t married, and she did some cool shit. And hey, she had Bert. Bert was neat.
If I do fall in love and get married, I am going to travel back in time (when they invent the machine, of course) and visit my shy, fat, headgear wearing 12-year-old self and exclaim, “We did it, bitch!” and disappear into the mist. That is the #1 thing on my time travel agenda. 12-year-old me needs this.
Dance in your panties like no one is watching…or like everyone is watching depending on what your into…
You, sir, are a hoot.
“Eh, you’ll do.” What does it mean?
Kind of like “I guess you’re good enough to settle down with.”
will you marry me? I’m kind of serious here, we could take it one step at a time. I would like to out on an online date first. what do you think?
I’m not sure how I feel about dating metal women.
I’m not a woman. but a man, our blog is run by two people. I’m Jeremie by the way.
I have a good feeling you are already married, Jeremie
Can you tell? and how?
1. Your blog is run by 2 people. 2. You give sex advice and by your response, marriage advice, too. Marriage advice is often given by the married. I don’t need either because I am going to be fine. 3. European thoughts about sex and marriage differ from ours, but I am sure you know this.
Lauren, I’m so sorry if I’ve offended you in any ways. Yes your assessment is correct in some points.
1. Yes technically I’m still married, but divorcing now.
2. I may be in Europe, I’m not European.
3. I’m rally sorry if you find somehow offensive.
Oh no, not offended. Just aware. A French island perhaps? I was reading your responses with a French accent.
Great. No, I’m in Stockholm, (Sweden). By the way, I really like your blog content. Have you taught of writing for a magazine some days?
Thank you. I work in science lab editing grants and manuscripts. I will do something fun and creative someday!
Reblogged this on Here A Blog, There A Blog.
I would take that reading with a ginormous slab of salt. Wit, charm, and beauty like yours do not go undiscovered.
And in the meantime, continue to enjoy “the f**k out of” that single life. For all of us old married women. Please. No, really. I mean, pleeaaase…
Will do…and thank you. I blushed a little bit.
the Mary Poppins musical is terrific! And don’t you dare marry anyone unless you are IN LOVE with him. Don’t just love him be IN LOVE with him. Take the word of the 20 year older you
Have you had your astrological chart read? That might be helpful.
Oh and the bj for coke…you win the bad dating story of this lifetime….hahahaha
Happy to entertain with bad dates, as always. I will do the chart! Good advice, 20 year older me!
haha – brilliant! you need to watch who you go on dates with – unless you got a lot of coke, that is. lol
Thanks Kyle, I do my best to avoid the weird ones, but they are drawn to me like moths to a flame.
Tarot is crap! You will find someone worthy of your greatness. She was obviously jealous shuffling and probably does it to everyone badass!
What about that other stuff? Ya never know. Regardless, it made me think….perhaps a little too much.
Okay, well I think you can definitely write a funny book, and I do think it is possible that we can have guardian angels and it is interesting that she was that specific, but…I don’t think you need cards to tell you any of it. Now if you went to a different reader and got the same results, that would be freaky! Just keep enjoying the f_ck out of yourself, and good things will follow.
I shall try. Thank you!
Nope, nope, never say “Eh, you’ll do.” Crazy tarot card reader.
I especially like the ending of your post because on my blog I have a very similar comment about time-traveling to visit 8-year-old me and saying similar things–although “We did it, bitch!” is really a lot more succinct than what I was thinking of saying, so when I do get there, I may use yours if you don’t mind.
You’re awesome
Back atcha!
You missed something though, she said you’d never marry the “eh, you’ll do” guy. So, maybe it’s just one date you’ll go on with the “you’ll do” guy. Perhaps the one after him will be the husband? Eh, doesn’t matter. You’ve got the right attitude. Love your life the way it is and when it happens, it will be icing on the cake. Thank you for giving me a good hearty laugh. Your wit and charm is bound to find attract the same.
Hmm good point. I didn’t think of that!
Glad you got a good laugh, that’s always the aim and thank you for the kind compliments! It’s nice to have all these supportive ladies.
La La, I’m a firm believer that tarot cards tell you the future at that point in time. So you can change your future. If you really want to get married you probably will. And it might be someone you didn’t think you’d be into at first. Maybe that’s what she meant by figuring he’d do?
Hopefully! Thanks for the input, Kourtney. Makes me feel better.
I’ve fantasized about giving 12-year-old me a visit and letting know all that shit would turn out all right, except the stuff that didn’t work out so well but turned out not to matter.
So glad to know I’m not alone (and that I wasn’t the only 12-year-old with some shit). Thanks, Theo.
Haha, I once had my cards read in an alley in New Orleans on Bourbon street. He was pretty spot on… but then again he was a little too broad. I chalk all that stuff up to lucky guesses. So, don’t worry I am sure you will find someone to groove with in your skivvies in no time
.