The following conversation happened at my workplace this morning at 9:00 AM:
Me: Good morning.
Front desk guard: Morning young lady, where have you been, on vacation?
Me: No, I’ve just been coming in the back door.
Random guy standing off to the side: Girl, look at that ass. That ASS. Tell me the secret cause I wanna come in the back door, too.
Me (in my head): Ugh, dickhead. I guess I set myself up for that one. I mean, why can’t dudes wait until 10 or something? I love men, but they really piss me off sometimes. Then again… I have been going to zumba and running 3-4 miles a day and it does look pretty good, so I don’t blame him. Ass, today we win, today we are victorious.