I can honestly say that nothing funny or even partially delightful has happened for a week. This is a funk (and not the good kind). I had a couple crappy medical issues this week and got blood work this morning. I have tiny veins and I hate having blood taken because of it. The technician talked to my arm passive aggressively for a few minutes and we found that the 4th try is a charm.
Then came the urine sample–my least favorite part of the whole Quest Diagnostics experience because I always manage to pee on myself. I walked to the bathroom, opened the door and a man was standing there with his ween out and his pants around his ankles. I laughed and shut the door.
As I waited for him to come out, I realized I have seen 3 dicks recently, but not one of them was there for my enjoyment. Seriously, how upsetting. My body is angry at me and I don’t have a man’s dick to enjoy for myself. What am I doing here, anyway? What is my life?
So, I went home and bought a plane ticket to Miami. Sure, that doesn’t change anything. My body will still be angry and there won’t be a dick for me to enjoy in Florida either, but at least it will be happening on the beach and not in Baltimore City. I have never needed a break more than I need this one. I leave Monday.