Miami Time Warp

20 Jun

Miami’s bars close at 5 am, making everything that happens there feel like a drunken time warp. Let’s flash back to last Tuesday, shall we?

My friend Karolina and I went out at 11 pm and had drinks with her boyfriend Mike and their friends. There, I met a gorgeous 22-year-old model who told me about all the crazy places he has woken up and asked if I wanted to wake up somewhere crazy (I said no…we all know it would have been a dungeon in some creepy basement somewhere).

What felt like 30 minutes but was 3 hours later, Karolina and I ended up in a club on hip-hop night where we watched a dorky white guy in a business suit try to get freaky whilst sandwiched between two women. He was wearing business socks and loafers.

Upon seeing this, I promptly declared that there was no way I was going to dance. Just as I said it, mine eyes were graced with the presence of a beautiful man named Omar who had descended from the heavens above (known to most as “Jamaica”) and into the fire of my loins–and do you know what he wanted to do? Me. We danced instead…and I swooned every time he said anything. Has anyone with a smooth accent ever complimented you? Wow, I am not used to such things and I could not form a full sentence–cue the butterflies and that just-had-my-first-kiss feeling.

Karolina and I then got our Catholic school girl grind on (parents, side note, don’t send your daughter to a Catholic school for girls and expect them not to kiss each other, drink vodka at 16 and/or grind when they dance).

What felt like 20 minutes but was 2 hours later, Omar asked where my friend went. I looked around and went downstairs to the men’s bathroom, where I found her talking to a guy named Ryno, who had just given her weed.

Suddenly, it was 5:15 in the morning and we were walking down the street stoned with e-cigarettes (I don’t smoke real cigarettes or the e-cigarette variety), coconut water and Karolina’s dog, Ted. We made up an elaborate story about how Ben & Jerry’s came up with the ice cream name “Half Baked.” I then laid down in the grass, pretended to swim and laughed so hard that I cried and then I sang a song about the moon and then, magically, I woke up on Karolina’s couch without even a touch of a hangover.

God bless Miami.

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24 Responses to “Miami Time Warp”

  1. Madame Weebles June 20, 2012 at 1:33 pm #

    Did you bring Omar back as a souvenir?

    • La La June 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm #

      He didn’t fit in my suitcase, too many muscles.

  2. becca3416 June 20, 2012 at 1:46 pm #

    I’ve GOT to go to Miami. I like Omars and Rynos…. and Johns and Steves and…. I should stop now.

    • La La June 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm #

      I’m glad you weren’t there, we would have never left.

  3. crubin June 20, 2012 at 2:00 pm #

    Hmmm, something tells me your vacation played out a little differently than mine will. Oh well, at least I can read about it…

    • La La June 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm #

      Haha, I hope so!

  4. Maggie O'C June 20, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

    I love you! You are outstanding!

  5. Christopher De Voss June 20, 2012 at 2:47 pm #

    Time Warp is now playing in my head. (Rocky Horror)

    • La La June 20, 2012 at 3:03 pm #

      You are welcome

  6. Pigeon Heart June 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm #

    fun. Im jelly. I want to rip around Miami and dance w/ Cubanos an alladat toooo

    • La La June 20, 2012 at 3:03 pm #

      I wish you had come!

      • Pigeon Heart June 20, 2012 at 4:01 pm #

        well I just book my tix to LA so Im on the up and up (;

  7. Lori DiNardi June 20, 2012 at 2:55 pm #

    Ahh, flashbacks from my youth, Jamaican accent and all. ;-)

  8. Bob June 20, 2012 at 3:20 pm #

    Sounds like one hell of a party!

  9. PCC Advantage June 20, 2012 at 3:34 pm #

    I like the idea of a man trying to get freaky on the dance floor whilst wearing business socks and loafers. It reminds me of my favourite song from Flight of the Conchords, “Business Time”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU

    • La La June 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm #

      ME TOO! That’s what I was thinking of when I wrote it. Good call :-)

  10. OneWeekToCrazy June 20, 2012 at 3:46 pm #

    I haven’t been to Miami, but it sounds like a whirlwind! Cheers!

  11. Kourtney Heintz June 21, 2012 at 12:03 am #

    What an amazing story you lived! Glad Miami was an adventure. :)

    • La La June 21, 2012 at 11:26 am #

      Thanks, Kourtney!

  12. Mari Sanchez Cayuso June 21, 2012 at 1:27 am #

    La La – I am Cuban and from Miami – Truth to every words said!
    (giggles to half baked)

  13. Lukas November 19, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

    - And this is what happens when lainevg one amazing photographer in a great city with no gps . o wait haha Great work as always! Wouldn’t be the same without the last two! Hope you enjoy the rest of your trip!

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