Adventures with My Boss

20 Aug

At least once a year, my aging, scientist boss asks me to pick him up or drop him off at AutoZone. He was in a talkative mood when I picked him up this afternoon.


Boss: Hey L-train, how was your weekend?

Me: It was okay.. I started writing a book of short stories.

Boss: Well, I hope you didn’t start with the story about your pants falling down on your run or your dress blowing up at that wedding.

Me: Ha. No, no I didn’t.

Boss: That’s some riveting, embarrassing material right there and I wouldn’t leave it out completely, just don’t start with it.

Me: I will keep that in mind. Hey, do you care if I stop for gas real quick?

Boss: Not at all. I’ll pay.


He told me a bit about his weekend and once I got to the gas station, he gave me cash so I went inside to pay. When I came back, I looked through the window and saw him sitting wide-eyed and rigid like he had seen a ghost. I opened the door.


Me: What’s wrong?

Boss: What is this playlist?!


I realized that we were talking over the music on the way to the gas station, making me forget that my workout playlist was still on shuffle. This was the current song (not for the faint of ears):



Me: Oh my god! I’m so sorry, that’s my workout playlist! You should have turned it off!

Boss: The song before this said, “Your daddy must have been drug dealer. Why? ‘Cause you dope.” I can’t believe you listen to this when you work out!


We sat in silence for the rest of the ride back to work. On the plus side, perhaps he won’t ask me to drive him around anymore. Fingers crossed!

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33 Responses to “Adventures with My Boss”

  1. Sword-chinned bitch August 20, 2012 at 2:07 pm #

    I’m just waiting for your book of short stories to come out — I’d definitely buy one.

    Your boss might have related to that ‘Ooo wee walla walla bing bang’ part — that goes way back — I think a song from the early sixties :)


    • La La August 20, 2012 at 2:15 pm #

      Aww thanks!

      I told the witch doctor I was in love with you, I told the witch doctor I was in love with you, and then the witch doctor he told me what to do!


  2. Maggie O'C August 20, 2012 at 2:09 pm #

    I like this better than some of your other boss posts. He can step off.


    • La La August 20, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

      He’s a character for sure.


      • Maggie O'C August 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

        I guess so but he seems like a pervy sexual harrasser to me. I don’t like him messing with my LaLa!!


        • La La August 20, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

          Aw no worries, I think I’m just his broseph.


  3. Carrie Rubin August 20, 2012 at 2:17 pm #

    Well, what do you expect from an “aging scientist”? Hey, if ass-smacking gets you into your anaerobic range, I say go for it.


    • La La August 20, 2012 at 2:24 pm #

      You gotta do what you gotta do. :-)


  4. Frivolous Monsters August 20, 2012 at 2:20 pm #

    You’ve mentioned him before, but the boss that calls you “L-train” is an old man? Wacky. I feel I may soon have to stick up for scientists on this post.


    • La La August 20, 2012 at 2:21 pm #

      Are you a scientist, FM?


      • Frivolous Monsters August 20, 2012 at 2:32 pm #

        I wear many hats. Us scientists are everywhere, and always watching…


        • La La August 20, 2012 at 2:36 pm #

          As long as it isn’t through my windows or a secret shower camera, I’ll be happy.


          • Frivolous Monsters August 20, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

            You know there was a court case brought about when “someone” at my old university in Wales, at the halls of residence in which I was a tutor for two years, was caught spying on the girls in the bathroom.

            I admire his ingenuity as he built a camera into a bottle of shower gel and, I think, when he wasn’t getting enough action he put a sign on the showers asking all students to take baths instead.

            He was caught… It wasn’t me!


  5. meizac August 20, 2012 at 2:56 pm #

    Yeah, but if he’s paying for the gas….


    • La La August 20, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

      Hmm…good point, perhaps it’s worth the ride….


  6. Nifti August 20, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    Ps: Malbec… yes :)


    • La La August 20, 2012 at 3:12 pm #

      Yes! That’s what I like to hear. ;-)


  7. Kathy V. August 20, 2012 at 3:11 pm #

    Poor guy. You’re just too hot for him to handle. Sounds like he’d kinda like to try, though.


    • La La August 20, 2012 at 3:48 pm #

      Oh no no no, he’s gross. I don’t want to imagine that crap.


  8. gingerfightback August 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm #

    Is he married? I know someone who is perfect for him


    • La La August 20, 2012 at 3:45 pm #

      Haha, what? He is married to another scientist. What a mess.


  9. Christopher De Voss August 20, 2012 at 3:46 pm #

    Buying gas…like a boss
    Being creepy…like a boss
    Listening to gangsta rap…like a boss
    Taking afternoon naps…like a boss


    • La La August 20, 2012 at 3:49 pm #

      Being Chris De Voss…like a boss.


  10. Madame Weebles August 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm #

    I love your stories about your boss, La La. He’s so much more pathetic/interesting/strange than my bosses. Meanwhile, if he’s so easily horrified by song lyrics, I feel bad for him.


  11. Carolina Courtland August 20, 2012 at 6:46 pm #

    What an old fogey. LOL


  12. heylookawriterfellow August 21, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

    Now you’ll hafta pay for your own gas. Oh well.

    And good luck on your book! Is it a memoir?


  13. becca3416 August 22, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

    Sounds like when my boss invites himself to ride to lunch with me, and he pretends not to be appalled by the filth that has accumulated in my vehicle. My house? Immaculate. My vehicle? Landfill.


    • La La August 23, 2012 at 10:38 am #

      Same here! Oh my god. There is still blue cupcake crumbles in my car from a party 5 months ago. I’m gross.


      • becca3416 August 23, 2012 at 10:54 am #

        I find way too many old french fries whenever I clean my car out once every three years.


        • La La August 23, 2012 at 10:55 am #

          Well the most annoying part is that they are french fries that have gone to waste, and that’s a fucking travesty.


          • becca3416 August 23, 2012 at 11:00 am #

            I usually pause whatever music I am listening to when I find one and have a moment of silence for the lost foodgasm.


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