At least once a year, my aging, scientist boss asks me to pick him up or drop him off at AutoZone. He was in a talkative mood when I picked him up this afternoon.
Boss: Hey L-train, how was your weekend?
Me: It was okay.. I started writing a book of short stories.
Boss: Well, I hope you didn’t start with the story about your pants falling down on your run or your dress blowing up at that wedding.
Me: Ha. No, no I didn’t.
Boss: That’s some riveting, embarrassing material right there and I wouldn’t leave it out completely, just don’t start with it.
Me: I will keep that in mind. Hey, do you care if I stop for gas real quick?
Boss: Not at all. I’ll pay.
He told me a bit about his weekend and once I got to the gas station, he gave me cash so I went inside to pay. When I came back, I looked through the window and saw him sitting wide-eyed and rigid like he had seen a ghost. I opened the door.
Me: What’s wrong?
Boss: What is this playlist?!
I realized that we were talking over the music on the way to the gas station, making me forget that my workout playlist was still on shuffle. This was the current song (not for the faint of ears):
Me: Oh my god! I’m so sorry, that’s my workout playlist! You should have turned it off!
Boss: The song before this said, “Your daddy must have been drug dealer. Why? ‘Cause you dope.” I can’t believe you listen to this when you work out!
We sat in silence for the rest of the ride back to work. On the plus side, perhaps he won’t ask me to drive him around anymore. Fingers crossed!
I’m just waiting for your book of short stories to come out — I’d definitely buy one.
Your boss might have related to that ‘Ooo wee walla walla bing bang’ part — that goes way back — I think a song from the early sixties
Aww thanks!
I told the witch doctor I was in love with you, I told the witch doctor I was in love with you, and then the witch doctor he told me what to do!
Ohhh, yeaaaahhhh…. That’s the song!
I like this better than some of your other boss posts. He can step off.
He’s a character for sure.
I guess so but he seems like a pervy sexual harrasser to me. I don’t like him messing with my LaLa!!
Aw no worries, I think I’m just his broseph.
Well, what do you expect from an “aging scientist”? Hey, if ass-smacking gets you into your anaerobic range, I say go for it.
You gotta do what you gotta do.
You’ve mentioned him before, but the boss that calls you “L-train” is an old man? Wacky. I feel I may soon have to stick up for scientists on this post.
Are you a scientist, FM?
I wear many hats. Us scientists are everywhere, and always watching…
As long as it isn’t through my windows or a secret shower camera, I’ll be happy.
You know there was a court case brought about when “someone” at my old university in Wales, at the halls of residence in which I was a tutor for two years, was caught spying on the girls in the bathroom.
I admire his ingenuity as he built a camera into a bottle of shower gel and, I think, when he wasn’t getting enough action he put a sign on the showers asking all students to take baths instead.
He was caught… It wasn’t me!
Yeah, but if he’s paying for the gas….
Hmm…good point, perhaps it’s worth the ride….
Lol.
Ps: Malbec… yes
Yes! That’s what I like to hear.
Poor guy. You’re just too hot for him to handle. Sounds like he’d kinda like to try, though.
Oh no no no, he’s gross. I don’t want to imagine that crap.
Is he married? I know someone who is perfect for him
Haha, what? He is married to another scientist. What a mess.
Shame as your previous posts reveal him to be a real catch!
Buying gas…like a boss
Being creepy…like a boss
Listening to gangsta rap…like a boss
Taking afternoon naps…like a boss
Being Chris De Voss…like a boss.
I love your stories about your boss, La La. He’s so much more pathetic/interesting/strange than my bosses. Meanwhile, if he’s so easily horrified by song lyrics, I feel bad for him.
What an old fogey. LOL
Now you’ll hafta pay for your own gas. Oh well.
And good luck on your book! Is it a memoir?
Sounds like when my boss invites himself to ride to lunch with me, and he pretends not to be appalled by the filth that has accumulated in my vehicle. My house? Immaculate. My vehicle? Landfill.
Same here! Oh my god. There is still blue cupcake crumbles in my car from a party 5 months ago. I’m gross.
I find way too many old french fries whenever I clean my car out once every three years.
Well the most annoying part is that they are french fries that have gone to waste, and that’s a fucking travesty.
I usually pause whatever music I am listening to when I find one and have a moment of silence for the lost foodgasm.