Lament for My Squeaky Bra

10 Sep

 

Sing to me, O Muse, the cause of
a squeaky bra on the day I
presented my pimped-out PowerPoint
of which I was once so proud.

Not pearls, heels nor shaky laser pen
could take the attention from
these blushing cheeks
as each step bore the betrayal of creak

and squeak.

O, bra most exquisite!
What awkwardness thou hast provided
whilst supporting my superior bosom.

Continue not this costly crime against me,
for our intimate time
together has been not long

and I do not know if you can be fixed with WD-40.

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40 Responses to “Lament for My Squeaky Bra”

  1. Sword-chinned bitch September 10, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

    Nice lament, AND nice bra! Did you discover what caused it to squeak like that?

    Like

    • La La September 10, 2012 at 3:11 pm #

      Why thank you. I don’t know why is squeaks, nor do I know how to fix it. I guess I should google it!

      Like

  2. JWo September 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

    Maybe The Girls were feeling neglected, what with all the work you were doing on the Power Point presentation, and they wanted to be noticed.

    I bet they were so proud. ;-)

    Like

    • La La September 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm #

      Haha, they’re so demanding, yeesh!

      Like

      • JWo September 10, 2012 at 3:14 pm #

        I know, right?

        Be glad that all they were doing was squeaking and weren’t trying to “peek” through to see what you were doing. hahaha…

        Like

        • La La September 10, 2012 at 3:21 pm #

          Silly boobs, tricks are for kids.

          Like

  3. Kyle September 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    wd-40 worked on my squeaky undies ;)

    Like

    • La La September 10, 2012 at 3:22 pm #

      Oh perfect! I’ll try it when I get home.

      And no, I am not going to ask why you had squeaky manties.

      Like

      • Kyle September 10, 2012 at 3:28 pm #

        good, because i couldn’t ever say why ;)

        Like

  4. Carrie Rubin September 10, 2012 at 3:36 pm #

    Only you, La La. This could only happen to you…

    Like

    • La La September 10, 2012 at 3:39 pm #

      No. Surely I am not the only woman in the world who has had a squeaky bra.

      Like

      • Carrie Rubin September 10, 2012 at 3:47 pm #

        The only protesting noises my bras make are from wanting more fleshy sustenance…

        Like

    • Sword-chinned bitch September 10, 2012 at 5:24 pm #

      :) Cute! In a way it’s good these happen to La La because we get these really funny posts!

      Like

      • Carrie Rubin September 10, 2012 at 5:29 pm #

        I agree. That’s why my one word for her was ‘exciting.’ I live vicariously through her. And through her bras.

        Like

  5. Maddie Cochere September 10, 2012 at 3:45 pm #

    I have definitely had a squeaky bra – but not during a PowerPoint presentation. It’s funny, but I feel for you, because it’s not a little sound. :-)

    Like

    • La La September 10, 2012 at 9:29 pm #

      Haha glad I’m not alone!

      Like

  6. Christopher De Voss September 10, 2012 at 4:03 pm #

    I happen to run a bra fixing service. Which I can perform on or off the rack.

    Like

    • La La September 10, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

      How convenient! What do you use, a special serum or something?

      Like

      • Christopher De Voss September 10, 2012 at 5:32 pm #

        A formula I make myself.

        Like

  7. aparnauteur September 10, 2012 at 4:36 pm #

    Haha! I dislike clothing giving off any kind of sound . They take away from the effort you put in getting dressed. Also, it’s like you’re the belled cat. Nothing you do is a secret.
    Nice bra BTW!

    Like

    • La La September 10, 2012 at 9:28 pm #

      Right? And I like doing everything in top secret!

      Like

  8. Le Clown September 10, 2012 at 4:56 pm #

    O Thou leopard print
    On the prowl no shame you know
    Silent? alas not.

    Like

  9. kenthinksaloud September 11, 2012 at 3:11 am #

    Go bra-less is my recommendation. Might not help you when doing presentations though. Then again, maybe…

    Like

    • La La September 11, 2012 at 7:41 am #

      Ken, I sincerely hope you thought that aloud!

      Like

      • kenthinksaloud September 11, 2012 at 12:58 pm #

        That’s how I do most of my thinking La La ;)

        Like

      • Vladimir February 25, 2013 at 6:51 am #

        . Designers are only a part of their own consumer base. Trying to force your disegn ideas on others, just because you think it is what they Should want is setting oneself up to fail. I understand that they thought that these new consumers would join the normal middle class, but the disegners did not take into account the social-economic situation that brought the new influx. Perhaps more is better is not the most accurate title. Perhaps it should be: More of the Same is Better. Though they now had increased buying power, their views on what wealth and luxury were were influenced by their upbringings. They like detailed and intricate. Designers thought they would be interested in simple and elegant. When proven wrong they refused to change.Perhaps it is not right to bring Apple into the discussion, but as a group that HAS influenced trends, they also do a terrible job of looking out for their consumers. People want adobe flash capability. Apple says NO! just because its not their product and it reduces battery life. People want what people want, even if we think that it might not be the best thing. Companies like Google then take advantage. This is paralleled with companies like Frigidaire in this story. The question I ask is: when do we truly know better and when should we just let the consumer have their way?

        Like

  10. Pigeon Heart September 11, 2012 at 11:33 pm #

    “superior bosom” fab.

    Like

  11. Andrew September 12, 2012 at 10:29 am #

    This is a Jane Austen piece right?

    Like

    • La La September 12, 2012 at 10:41 am #

      Did Bob Craig read it to you on day one in London? I recall when he finished he looked up, smiled and said, “Jane Austen, a critic of society and such a classy, modern woman for her time.”

      Like

  12. workspousestory September 12, 2012 at 11:55 am #

    Haha, that made my day… never had a squeaky one… perhaps you could record that for future generations?

    Like

  13. junelikethemonth September 13, 2012 at 1:24 am #

    Lol, that is too funny…I was just wearing my squeaky bra today…

    Like

  14. Kourtney Heintz September 14, 2012 at 10:19 am #

    A classic in the making. I wonder what caused the squeaking. I’ve had that with shoes but not yet with a bra. Horror of horrors. :)

    Like

  15. mikeakin1 September 25, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

    That was GREAT lol

    Like

  16. davidhardingblogs October 27, 2012 at 5:48 pm #

    See this is proof women are funnier than men (see your other post thing on this) because ‘The squeaky jock strap’ just wouldn’t be funny.

    Like

    • La La October 27, 2012 at 5:50 pm #

      Haha, I think that means boys are just gross. Cooties and stuff. You know how it is.

      Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Made Up La La Facts…Or Not « - September 17, 2012

    […] you know the thing actually squeaks? That wasn’t made […]

    Like

  2. Ode to a Stray Hair | tales of a charm city chick - July 31, 2013

    […] Should I really publish a poem about a stray hair?” and then I remembered that I published a poem about a squeaky bra and also that this is my place to play with poesy and post photos and do what I please. So […]

    Like

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