Boss: Can I move your suitcase?
Me: It’s my bag. Sure.
Boss: Why is it kind of heavy?
Me: I usually have random, useful things in there.
Boss: Like what? A weapon?
Me: I’m not sure what’s in there right now. Let’s see.
The current contents of my bag (minus keys and lip gloss):
Boss: Really? A giant wallet, screwdriver, Under Armour shirt and shorts, banana, bottle of water, purple pen and hand lotion?
Me: You never know what you might need. Usually I have a mini Kleenex packet, a hair tie and a stain removal pen in there as well.
Boss: You’re a mess. By the way, there’s a young, new Italian guy named Donato on the 6th floor if you want to meet him.
Me: Is he cute? And I am not a mess! What if I’m hungry? What if I have dry hands? Go ask your wife what’s in her bag right now.
Boss: Okay…and yes, he’s 25 and very handsome. Blue eyes.
He leaves and comes back 20 minutes later
Boss: She has a wallet, keys, scissors, pen, toothpaste, pair of shoes and an orange.
Me: I rest my case…and sign me up for Donato.