What’s in Your Bag?

12 Sep

Boss: Can I move your suitcase?

Me: It’s my bag. Sure.

Boss: Why is it kind of heavy?

Me: I usually have random, useful things in there.

Boss: Like what? A weapon?

Me: I’m not sure what’s in there right now. Let’s see.

 

The current contents of my bag (minus keys and lip gloss):

Exhibit A.

 

Boss: Really? A giant wallet, screwdriver, Under Armour shirt and shorts, banana, bottle of water, purple pen and hand lotion?

Me: You never know what you might need. Usually I have a mini Kleenex packet, a hair tie and a stain removal pen in there as well.

Boss: You’re a mess. By the way, there’s a young, new Italian guy named Donato on the 6th floor if you want to meet him.

Me: Is he cute? And I am not a mess! What if I’m hungry? What if I have dry hands? Go ask your wife what’s in her bag right now.

Boss: Okay…and yes, he’s 25 and very handsome. Blue eyes.

 

He leaves and comes back 20 minutes later

 

Boss: She has a wallet, keys, scissors, pen, toothpaste, pair of shoes and an orange.

Me: I rest my case…and sign me up for Donato.

 

 

 

 

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37 Responses to “What’s in Your Bag?”

  1. JWo September 12, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    I ♥ Natalie Dee…

    At least you didn’t like 20 condoms in your bag. That might have looked bad.

    Good look with the Italian Stallion. ;-)

    Like

    • La La September 12, 2012 at 4:22 pm #

      Thanks!

      Like

    • La La September 12, 2012 at 4:26 pm #

      Also…is that what you carry in your murse? ;-)

      Like

      • JWo September 12, 2012 at 5:28 pm #

        First it was NOT a murse!!! hahaha…

        Second, IF I were a single man, I’d only carry one. Toting too many makes you look cocky. But I’ve been “off the market” a long time, so maybe things have change… :-?

        Like

  2. Carrie Rubin September 12, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    This is why I don’t carry a big purse. Though sadly, the other day in a restaurant, I had my purse sitting open next to me when my husband coughed and a chunk of food flew out of his mouth and into my bag. I still haven’t found the regurgitated morsel. Wonder what your boss would think if he came across that…

    Like

  3. Someone Else September 12, 2012 at 3:16 pm #

    I wanna work in your office in addition to photos (if possible) of Donato.

    Like

    • La La September 12, 2012 at 4:25 pm #

      I will do my very best in the least creepiest way possible.

      Like

  4. dee dee September 12, 2012 at 3:30 pm #

    Your boss cracks me up.

    Like

  5. Maggie O'C September 12, 2012 at 3:35 pm #

    Your boss is married?!

    Like

    • La La September 12, 2012 at 4:23 pm #

      Yes. His wife works there too.

      Like

  6. Christopher De Voss September 12, 2012 at 4:23 pm #

    If I carried a murse I would put a puppy in it.

    Like

  7. Pete Armetta September 12, 2012 at 5:10 pm #

    Cute !!! :)

    Like

  8. Kristin September 12, 2012 at 6:33 pm #

    This is cute Lauren! My purse is a scary place…if I leave it anywhere I freak…not because I am afraid it won’t be returned (I live in Wyoming), but because Lord knows what they might think if they look in it :)

    Like

  9. Frivolous Monsters September 12, 2012 at 6:49 pm #

    How can you not admire a girl who carries a screwdriver?
    Always the blue-eyed boys…

    Like

  10. Madame Weebles September 12, 2012 at 8:06 pm #

    What, no Pocket Rabbit? No lipstick? Also, please report back on Donato. Thank you.

    Like

  11. Sword-chinned bitch September 12, 2012 at 8:44 pm #

    I don’t know if you saw my comment on my post about your gravatar image — but I love it! It’s muy sexy — it’s got character!

    Like

  12. Lori DiNardi September 12, 2012 at 8:47 pm #

    WHAHT? No make-up? And breath mints, I keep those on hand for me and anyone else who may need them. ;-)

    Like

  13. junelikethemonth September 13, 2012 at 12:32 am #

    Ooooooh,what a fun game! Let’s see…
    Ok, wallet, keys, headphones, nail file, perfume, midol, tylenol, personal meds (3 bottles), listerine pocket packs, pen, stamps, comdoms (7,lol ), cigarettes, 4 lighters, one packet of grape fundip, roll of cherry halls, napkin, contact drops, comb, rubberband, two paperclips, three packets of splenda, and a plethora of change in the bottom,lol…
    Gee, no wonder why I can’t ever find anything lol…
    And by the way, is he cute?

    Like

  14. DeeDee September 13, 2012 at 2:32 am #

    My mom called her purse the “silk-lined junkyard”. It always contained those practical things, plus OTC painkillers, bandaids, crayons to keep little kids pacified, and god knows what else.

    Like

  15. Andrew September 13, 2012 at 9:59 am #

    Ha, screwdriver made me do a spitake. And secondly, I couldn’t agree more with the kleenex. Because of me, my girlfriend now has taco bell napkins in her glove box at all times. Not only is it classy, but you never know when you’re going to have a snot attack. Or sauce attack. Lots of attacks can happen is what I’m saying. And you need to be prepared.

    Like

  16. mer September 13, 2012 at 11:57 am #

    a coffee filter full of miniature (now stale) pretzels, wallet, cheese stick (duh), pair of glasses/extra contacts, keys, iPhone.
    …and, f-u coffee filter for your poor freshness obtaining qualities, for serious.

    Like

  17. Kathy V. September 13, 2012 at 7:05 pm #

    Maxi pads. Wooden teething ring. Tube of Baby Orajel Naturals. Medium to large wallet. Chap stick. Asthma inhaler. Keys. No less than SEVEN different colors of lip gloss. One lipstick. Three lip pencils. (JESUS CHRIST YOU’D THINK I MADE MYSELF UP SOMETIMES.) Nail file. Listerine strips. Sunglasses. Tylenol. Compact mirror with a ‘K’ on it. Pack of Kleenex. Note pad. Passport. Toothpicks. Three pens. One pencil. A green ribbon. Old receipts. OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED THAT I’M A HOARDER.

    Like

    • La La September 14, 2012 at 11:03 pm #

      HAHA, this is my favorite. You’re my favorite and the most amazing hoarder ever.

      Like

  18. Kourtney Heintz September 14, 2012 at 10:18 am #

    I love your conversations with your boss! Thanks for the laughs. :)

    Like

  19. Jen and Tonic September 15, 2012 at 1:50 am #

    Hilarious!! I love that you have a screwdriver in your bag. I like a girl who is ready for anything!

    I actually did this same challenge awhile back, and was shocked at everything I was carrying around!! http://sipsofjenandtonic.com/2012/05/27/whats-in-my-bag/

    Like

  20. Love & Lunchmeat September 15, 2012 at 2:09 am #

    My purse is tiny, but somehow I always have what I need. Glasses, wallet, tweezers, kleenex, hand sanitizer, phone, notebook, gum, nail file, five different shades of lip gloss, and perfume samples. It’s basically a marvel in engineering. I’m sure if I had more space, I’d just carry bigger versions of the exact same things. :)

    Like

  21. ladymiryaa September 18, 2012 at 1:52 am #

    Pretty sure there is ALWAYS food in the Fat Girl’s purse. Why? Because I am a Fat Girl…duh! You never know when you might have a thin mint emergency

    Like

  22. T. W. Dittmer October 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

    Never been able to do the man’s shoulder bag thing, but once in a while… when my wallet makes a particularly deep impression on my left cheek, or my pocket knife and keys and car key-fob and all that other stuff get REAL uncomfortable… I think about it.

    Like

    • La La October 11, 2012 at 2:17 pm #

      Haha, no murse for the Dittmer. Not sure why I chose “the Dittmer” but we can go with it.

      Like

      • T. W. Dittmer October 11, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

        Been called worse. :-) It kinda fits.

        Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Trust Me, I Know | I Was Just Thinking. . . - September 12, 2012

    [...] Because I need a distraction, and this is relatively easy, and I haven’t posted anything original here for a while, I present to you The Contents Of My Purse, inspired by the hilarious post What’s in Your Bag? [...]

    Like

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