Hey! You know me, I hope. It’s Chris. Sorry I haven’t been here in a while. La La has kept my side of the blog tidy and free of cobwebs, though. Thanks, baby! Anyway, I just wanted to share this dream I had the other night:
So it starts with me picking up La La for a “meeting.” I didn’t know what the meeting was about or where, but I knew I was supposed to pick her up and the universe demanded us to be there.
We can’t argue with the universe, right?
So I hop in my dad van and drive to her house…only it’s not her normal house, it looks like an Aztec pyramid! It’s yellow and big, and along the front are stairs so you can climb to the top.*
I sit and stare at it for a minute. Is this the right address?
It has to be, all the other houses look like what I remember, just now La La lives in a big, yellow Aztec pyramid. She comes out and gets in the van.
“Um, where did the pyramid come from?” I ask.
“I’ve always lived in it, silly!” she replies.
“No, no you haven’t….” I start to say, but suddenly her neighbors spill out of the house next door. They are screaming things like:
“I don’t care if you gang banged everybody on the block, you’re not gang banging tonight!”
“I’ll gang bang tonight if I want! You don’t own me! I’ll gang bang you!”
“You are not gang banging me! I’ll gang bang you and your sister!”
“My sister ain’t no gang banger! Do you want me to gang bang you?”
And it went on like that for a while. Also, the entire time they were arguing**, they were laying out cardboard boxes on their sides with blankets inside of them.
“What are those for?” I asked La La.
“I don’t know,” she replied and smiled. “They do that every Wednesday. It’s sweet!”
“What?” I ask, but then the next thing I know I was driving down the road***.
“Hey!” La La suddenly says alarmed. “There is someone following the car! On foot!”
Sure enough, in my rear view mirror is a man running after us wearing a ball cap and an apron. He is holding a plastic bag with one hand and waving at us frantically with the other. I also notice three other men dressed like him, frantically wiping the road down where he had been. They all looked extremely worried and determined.
“Should I stop?” I ask La La.
“Yes! Always stop for someone wearing an apron!” La La says, grabbing the wheel.
“What?” I ask again.
We stop and the man catches up to us. He is out of breath. He hands La La the bag and leaves.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Two Jimmy Johns subs. A veggie for me and a roast beef for you, two bags of skinny chips, and two root beers!”
Up ahead a big orange ball appears.
La La puts down her sandwich and says,
“That’s it. I think that’s where we are supposed to go.”
I pull into the parking lot of the orange ball and both La La and I sit for a minute and stare at it. It’s mesmerizing! On the front are some blurry words.
“I think that one word says ‘Gifts’,” I whisper to her.
She whispers back, ” I think the other one says ‘Fruit.’”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know!”
At the doors of the orange ball is a long thin something, painted white, and wearing a rainbow-colored wig. We get out of the van and approach. It looks like one of those inflatable things that wave in the breeze outside of a car dealership, except this one has a white face. La La reaches up and pulls off the wig. Underneath the wig is a penis, and then suddenly, out of the blue, the whole thing catches on fire!
La La grabs my hand and says,
“Quick! I need a magnet!”
To Be Continued…* And a fountain! **I’m not really sure if they were truly mad at each other or it was some pre-sex ritual thing that gang bangers do…. ***It is a dream, after all. Dreams are full of random cut scenes.