The Aztec, Market, And Orange Ball: Part II

19 Nov

This will make no sense without reading part uno here.*

La La grabs my hand and we enter the big orange ball. With my other hand I shield my eyes against the bright orange light that flashes at us as we walk through the door.

Before us is a long hallway with magnets covering the walls from floor to ceiling.

“I need an Orlando magnet,” La La says to me and smiles.

“Ok,” I reply. “But what about the meeting?”

“We are in it,” La La responds as she leads me down the hallway.

We look at the miles and miles of magnets. They have every city, every country, every state, except Orlando.

“What the hell?!” I ask stunned.

“Maybe through this door,” La La says. A million different types of citrus fruits come tumbling out. I grab La La and press her against the wall, shielding her with my body.

We look at each other and kiss.***

“That was nice,” La La says, smiling.

“Yes…” I start to say, but suddenly we are interrupted by a voice calling through the door.

“Bruschetta! Bruschetta!” Free Bruschetta!”

I steal another quick kiss and we both turn to look through the open door. Inside we see what looks like a grocery store, except all the produce twinkles with a golden hue. There are tables after tables of vendor type looking people with food samples in front of them.  The closest table has piles and piles of the best looking Bruschetta that I have ever seen.

I link La La’s arm with mine,

“Let’s go. Free Bruschetta, baby!”

As we enter through the door, a man stops us on the other side.

‘Hello,” the man says. “My name is Justin. I make the most beautiful, delicious wine ever. You may not enter without a coupon.’

‘Is it better than a Malbec? I seriously doubt it is. Nothing is,” La La says, challenges Justin.

Justin looks like he suddenly smelled a dinosaur fart.

“Don’t. You. Ever. Say. That. Again!” he says. “Follow me, I will give you a taste!”

“So much for the coupon,” I whisper in La La’s ear. She smiles.

We follow Justin through the winding rows of vendors and their free samples. I see ice cream, crab salad, stuffed fig leaves, gnocchi…and I grab them all. La La gives me a funny look.

“Dinner later,” I say and shrug as much as I can with an arm full of free samples.

Justin stops at the longest table I have ever seen. Black wine bottles are stacked on the table and on each bottle is a handwritten label that says “Justin. The Best Wine. Ever. Bitches.”

Justin pours two tiny thimble samples of wine and hands them to us. I drink mine.

“Really good!” I say.

La La grabs the bottle from Justin and starts to chug.

“Hey!” Justin cries.

“It’s ok, ” I say. “Just better let her do what she wants.”

“Buy my wine,” Justin says. “Justify me!”

“Ok, dude,” I say, grabbing a bottle. “You’re justified!”

The Market starts to shake like there’s an earthquake. The vendor tables overturn, otters and cats run for cover in the bushes, and a lady with a laptop screams, “My Farmville! My Farmville! Someone save my Farmville!”

“What does that mean?” I ask La La.

“Come on!” La La screams and leads us through an open door to the side of the market.

We run through the door and La La shuts it. Suddenly we are in the middle of an airport. No one else is in the airport except one older Homeland Security Guard. He points to a table set up in the middle of the waiting area. I look down in my arms. All I have left from the market is a wedge of brie, a loaf of french bread, a smoked Gouda pasta salad, and the bottle of Justin. La La sits down at the table which now has wine glasses and plates. I sit down too. The band Crystal Fighters appear and start playing some songs.

The Homeland Security Guard says, “It’s time.”

“Time for what?” I ask.

“Time to go,” he says and points to an airplane.

I grab La La’s hand and we get on the airplane. The Crystal Fighters fight over our left over Gouda pasta salad and an old cleaning woman sweeps up the crumbs from the French Bread with a vacuum.

*However it is a dream**, so it may not make any sense any way
**Or is it?
***It’s my dream, dammit! I’ll kiss her if I want!

39 Responses to “The Aztec, Market, And Orange Ball: Part II”

  1. La La November 19, 2012 at 12:19 pm #

    This all feels vaguely familiar, but I guess it was just a dream…

    • Christopher De Voss November 19, 2012 at 12:21 pm #

      I don’t know for sure…it’s kind of blurry…yet so real…

      • La La November 19, 2012 at 12:28 pm #

        Well, good song choice regardless (the leaves that fall to my feet at home, they mean nothing to me).

  2. Carrie Rubin November 19, 2012 at 12:36 pm #

    Only the most gallant of men would shield a woman from tumbling citrus fruit. Well done.

  3. Dee Dee November 19, 2012 at 12:45 pm #

    Justin. The Best Wine. Ever. Bitches.

  4. The Bumble Files November 19, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

    Whacko! I love it. Oh, Chris you got a kiss. Whoo hoo!!

  5. calahan November 19, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    That’s what you get for eating jalapenos before bed.

  6. Cat Forsley November 19, 2012 at 3:17 pm #

    La la ……Lauren …….
    i admire Your boldness …..:)
    Big hugs from me to You xx
    Like your style of writing – and just being :)
    you bring a ton of smiles honey :)
    Brainy as all hell – Bring it ….!!!!!!
    Love
    xx
    Cat

  7. Maddie Cochere November 19, 2012 at 3:21 pm #

    Ok, is it just me? I want you two to Skype date.

  8. becca3416 November 19, 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    Finally! They kissed! I don’t care if it is a dream or not. It was real to me.

    • Christopher De Voss November 19, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

      It was real to me too.

    • La La November 19, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

      (we probably did other stuff too, wink wink nudge nudge)

      • becca3416 November 19, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

        I want the R rated version. We would need Kyle for that.

        • La La November 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm #

          Did you know I wrote a couple of Kyle’s posts? Just sayin’.

          • becca3416 November 19, 2012 at 3:33 pm #

            Seriously?! So many cool points. Which ones?

      • Christopher De Voss November 19, 2012 at 3:30 pm #

        (I edited that part out. People will have to pay to read that. By the way, you were really good!)

  9. Storkhunter November 19, 2012 at 4:59 pm #

    Tumbling fruit, spur of the moment kisses, are you sure this was a dream and not a fantasy? Just saying.

  10. The Hook November 19, 2012 at 8:57 pm #

    Your work is never boring, cutie! Keep it up!

    • Christopher De Voss November 19, 2012 at 9:02 pm #

      Thank you. I appreciate it. I think you’re cute too.

      • The Hook November 19, 2012 at 9:03 pm #

        Thanks, buddy!

      • La La November 19, 2012 at 9:04 pm #

        If this was my work I would thank you and reply with a curtsy.

  11. Love and Lunchmeat November 20, 2012 at 9:21 am #

    They gave you wine in a thimble? Stingy dream winemakers. Who can blame La La for grabbing the bottle?

    • La La November 20, 2012 at 10:13 am #

      Seriously, it’s not like we’re mice.

      • Christopher De Voss November 20, 2012 at 10:54 am #

        Well…I don’t know. We do like cheese a lot and occasionally I only wear red shorts and no shirt….

  12. Jen and Tonic November 22, 2012 at 4:34 pm #

    This turned me on more than 50 Shades of Grey.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,170 other followers

%d bloggers like this: