Yesterday at 2pm, instead of attending the work holiday party, my two guy friends and I escaped to the bar and drank three pitchers of beer. As they droned on and on about fantasy football, boobs, bacon and whatever else guys talk about, an important question popped suddenly into my mind:
“Do I have a party trick?”
I didn’t think I did. How disturbing. “No wonder I always have such a terrible time meeting people at parties,” I thought to myself, “I DON’T HAVE A PARTY TRICK.”
I asked my friend about it and he replied, “Um…eating Oreos? You’re good at eating a lot of Oreos. And hula hooping.”
While I liked the idea of showing off these talents, something told me that partygoers won’t be impressed by watching me eat myself into an Oreo coma and chances are the host of whatever party doesn’t have two hula hoops sitting out, just waiting for me to wow everyone with my magical hooping abilities.
I spent the rest of the afternoon kind of drunk wandering around in a confused state, thinking about this missing piece to the La La puzzle.
Finally, I decided to consult my expert, Chris De Voss.
Maybe he was right, surely it was my monkey face that he fell for in the first place. I went to Google Images and searched for “best monkey face” and found that compared to the results, I do actually make a decent monkey face.
Them (ridiculous):
Me (authentic):
So there you have it. Now I will easily make new friends and get any job I want when I move to Florida, all thanks to this unique talent!
What about you, do you have a party trick?
Best monkey face ever! And it seems appropriate, because that looks like laboratory equipment in the background of the picture. They don’t keep you in a cage, do they?…
I kind of consider the lab itself to be a cage. I’ll worry when they start injecting me and bleeding me every few weeks!
Yeah, I’d say that would be a cause for concern…
That is truly an epic monkey face. The party is definitely whereever you are making that face.
Hahaha, thank you! I’ll just bring the party with me from now on! Do you have a party trick?
Um, I sing horribly off-key? I don’t know. When I party I get drunk, loud, and funny. Is that considered a trick?
Yes, that’ll do just fine! The room always needs one of those.
Whew! I was afraid I was a no-trick pony.
Haha! Love the monkey face! I laugh every time! And I’m hungry for a banana…with peanut butter.
i think i adore you two. and the party trick far more interesting than the bacon, boobs, and fantasy football. okay, maybe not more interesting than the boobs and bacon, but definitely more than the other thing. loool. xo, sm
Boobs and bacon do rule, haha. We were just talking this morning about how we hope to see you sometime in Orlando if you ever stop there!
hopefully, one day. tho, i have stopped more of my touring dreams to concentrate on my writing dreams. but, maybe the writing dreams will lead to the touring dreams and so on and so on…lol. much love, sm
Silly! That actually sounds quite delicious. Thank you for helping me discover my party trick!
Great monkey face! Great party trick! You do realize that when you have children, they will beg mommy for the monkey face, and they will tell their friends, and kids will knock on your door asking for the monkey face.
If I have kids, as long as it makes them laugh and doesn’t frighten them, I will be sure to use the monkey face whenever possible! Do you have a party trick?
You will be the best mom ever.
My husband makes a rubber face complete with noise (think Curly of the Three Stooges), and our kid was always begging dad for the rubber face. … I don’t have a party trick. I don’t think I ever did. Unless it was drinking the most wine.
Oh that’s not a trick
It was all I had.
U had tricks on the court though lol
Too old for party tricks here, but I’d love to be at a party where you put on your sig move. Awesome! Can’t wait to see it in person down here in Florida.
YAY! In Orlando. See you there!
Why can’t I unsee this, Um, when are you moving to Florida, and do you need a roommate?
I don’t need a roommate… but you can come visit! I am hoping as soon as possible. I am still doing the job search, which isn’t as fun as I thought it might be.
Yipee! Where you looking at in Florida?
In Orlando, you planning to move there?
Not particularly, but I am open to anywhere. Looking at next year around or before this time hopefully!
Awesome! That’s so exciting. You can come visit anyway. We can dress up like princesses!!!
OMGSOEXCITED.
Plus I am driving distance from there
. I hear tequila and world domination in our future.
Ding, ding, ding!!!
I think you can move down right now. Take your fabulous monkey face and hit the road! Now that I’ve read this, I’m concerned b/c I don’t think I have a party trick either.
I’ll hitchhike, just me and the monkey…and I’ll bet you do and you just have to think about it.
Believe me, I’m doing just that!!!
You forgot about your best talent ever…a party pooper!!! Lol…and of course said with acccent!!!
Jennifer poops at paaaties?
Best monkey face ever!
A-thank you! ::curtsies::
Well, it did make me laugh. I guess my party trick is to bring really good food. That always works…
Um, your trick brings the people, you win!!!
Wait a minute… you just inserted a picture of a real monkey, didn’t you? I’m not gonna fall for that. There’s no way that a person could make that realistic of a monkey face!
Damn. I guess now I should just admit I don’t have a party trick. Do you have one?
Does not getting invited to parties count as a trick?
Ha, well I suppose so if you do it purposely!
Ha! That is hilarious
My party trick is kinda sad, simply drinking a lot. Preferably jaegerbombs.
Well we’re clearly going to get tanked together when you come visit because I love me a jagerbomb.
Hahaha. That is the BEST money face ever!! Are you moving to Florida?! Really? To be with Chris?!! Party tricks? Me? Certainly nothing that can compare to yours. Probably some kind of interpretive dance. Yeah, that’s it.
Ha, I’d love your interpretive dance, I just know it! And yes to the moving bit! I am very excited.
The whole moving bit? CdV? Am I getting this right? Wow!!!
CDV! Right? I knew you’d be excited haha. I love it.
Oh, I am!!! I so LOVE it! I’m very excited for you guys. You were kind of hinting, but I wasn’t sure. Today, I was pretty sure…but I never assume anything. This is great news! Yay!!!
I have a few funny-incident narratives ready to be launched on cue. So that works for places that aren’t too loud. But the monkey-face seems universal. It would work everywhere.
There we go, someone to admit it, and it’s a fabulous idea.
PS – Monkey face in a business meeting tomorrow? What do you think? I’ll give it a go.
This is your bestest post ever!
WHAT A MONKEY FACE!
And… MONKEY FACES ARE VERY SIMILAR TO GORILLA DICES!
I love this so much I cannot get enough!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHQAHHAHAH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS: How do you change the font in your messaging?
Hahaha oh my god this comment made me feel SO GIDDY. I knew you’d love the face.
Don’t ever do that at the zoo. They may lock you up.
That would be an embarrassing phone call…
My husband claims I have good party tricks, but that they probably shouldn’t be done publicly. Which means I have no actual party tricks, unless the ability to ingest large amounts of Riesling counts.
Laughing at Funerals
Now that’s a party trick.
Not when you are carrying the coffin
I love it that you left the holiday party and drank three pitchers of beer with some dude friends. We are def soul mates. !!!!!
OMG! That monkey face just makes me want to orgasm with laughter! Totally did not expect that!!!
Hahaha, I hope you did!
While I do agree that you have a great monkey face, I disappointed that you forgot to mention the fact that you juggle while spinning a plate off your head. Come on!
Great, now I need to come up with something different for my next post. THANKS A LOT.
Actually, when guys get together without women we only talk about fabrics and interpretive dancing.
Fabrics! Like for crafts? Sounds fancy, haha
If I’m ever at a party with you, I’m going to ask you to do that, even if it’s the after party for the Nobel prizes (we’ll probably meet there a lot).
I don’t have any party tricks, but I have three tricks I use to get my students’ attention or amuse them if we’re bored: snapping my fingers, whistling and flipping a coin, including the amazing horizontal flip. I love teaching students who are easily amused.
Yes, thank god those students are easily amused because they would otherwise be rolling their eyes haha. Interestingly, every year I write nominations for one of the Nobel prizes. I have yet to get this one guy accepted, although I did help him win the Dan David Prize a couple of years ago. So, when I see you there, you’ll be whistling and flipping coins and I’ll be doing the monkey face. Deal!
Great face! Party trick? I’m thinking of one I might have. Damn it…this sucks cause I’m 52 without a party trick! Well glad the mayon calendar was wrong so I can work on one for New Year’s Eve
stay tuned
HAHAHA I LOVE IT!! Great party trick! My only party trick: bringing whatever baked good concoction I thought of that day and put everyone in a massive food coma
Sounds very tricky and delicious!
La La. YOU ARE MOVING TO ORLANDO?
- I LIVE IN ORLANDO!
You know the unemployment rate is higher here than most of the rest of the country, right?
PS. I have a SPECTACULAR party trick which I could not begin to explain in words with any kind of success, so you will have to take my word for it. Or see it when you get here, and we party.
I am trying my hardest to find one despite the odds, Kathleen. I believe.
When I get there, you can show me!!
Hm. I only have one party trick. I make entire bottles of wine just disappear. Poof! It’s very impressive.
I actually know what’s behind that trick. I’ll keep it a secret though.