Yesterday afternoon, “wine Santa” (my boss) came bursting through the door with wine for everyone.
Boss: Lauren, I was going to buy you vodka, but I didn’t overly want to take part in whatever happens when you’re drinking alone.
Me: I’ve moved on to tequila, anyway. Remember when you gave me all those fun recipes?
Boss: I need to stop giving you drink advice. It has taken me years to have my drink knowledge and you learned it all in two little conversations.
Boss: So? SO?! With all those drink concoctions you are the equivalent of Iran with a nuclear weapon.
Me: You know I’m not like a drunk, right?
Boss: I just don’t want to see you on the news, okay? Anyway, here’s your gift. I got you French wine.
Me: I think you also accidentally gave me two-hundred dollars…
Boss: Thanks for all you do. I hope it helps you with your romance novel. Merry Christmas!