How to Have a Happy Valentine’s Day

14 Feb

Here is how to have a good day today whether you’re happily married, single, your wife hates you, or your boyfriend is abroad:

1. Quit yer bitching and be grateful.

2. Look nice. Shave for once. It feels good to look good.

3. Wear something festive. Today my underpants are pink. It’s like a secret party in there that no one can see.

4. Eat a lot of M&M’s.

5. Give candy to your co-workers because the fatter they are, the happier you are.

6. Laugh at funny things on the internet.

 

IMG956054 (1)

 

7. Fart on really pretty people. They deserve it.

8. Dance and/or drink excessively.

9. Eat more M&M’s.

10. Go to bed remembering that some people only feel special today while YOU feel special every day.

51 Responses to “How to Have a Happy Valentine’s Day”

  1. twindaddy February 14, 2013 at 11:03 am #

    I like it. But what if someone takes you advice and farts on you?

    • La La February 14, 2013 at 11:06 am #

      Clever. I will accept the fart as a compliment and follow it with a shower.

      • twindaddy February 14, 2013 at 11:07 am #

        Dammit! Typo strikes again. Nothings worse than being clever and stupid at the same time.

  2. becca3416 February 14, 2013 at 11:05 am #

    Or you could just a href=”http://25tofly.com/2013/02/14/a-valentines-day-production/”>dress like an M&M and drink excessively. Happy V-day you sexy monster.

  3. rheath40 February 14, 2013 at 11:06 am #

    I want to be Peggy’s friend. :-)

    • La La February 14, 2013 at 11:34 am #

      Hahaha! Love you.

      • rheath40 February 14, 2013 at 12:17 pm #

        I love you too sweetness. :-)

  4. CultFit February 14, 2013 at 11:06 am #

    Brilliant!

  5. Carrie Rubin February 14, 2013 at 11:14 am #

    Well, thanks to your post, I accomplished #6! And I think M&Ms are always called for.

    • La La February 14, 2013 at 11:31 am #

      I didn’t remember which one it was at first and was hoping you had accomplished the fart.

      • Carrie Rubin February 14, 2013 at 12:55 pm #

        As if I’d ever admit to that online…

        (Thanks for the best laugh-out-loud I’ve had today!)

  6. Pixie Girl February 14, 2013 at 11:17 am #

    My response to dressing nicely is to do whatever Ryan Gosling tells me to.

    http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/29669979.jpg

    Also, it’s Thursday! Now where’s that jersey…

    • La La February 14, 2013 at 11:33 am #

      I will wear whatever that man tells me to wear.

  7. The Waiting February 14, 2013 at 11:31 am #

    These are good tips for pretty much any day.

    • La La February 14, 2013 at 11:32 am #

      You make a perfectly good point and I’m thinking I should change the title.

  8. jayne February 14, 2013 at 11:33 am #

    Happy Happy Valentines Day!!! Have I told you that you have a great outlook on life! I love women like you and your guy is one lucky lucky man. I must say, he’s pretty cool!

    • La La February 14, 2013 at 11:39 am #

      Aw thanks lady! :-)

      • jayne February 14, 2013 at 11:46 am #

        I think I just might wear some pink underwear and we’ll be at the same party today!

        • La La February 14, 2013 at 11:47 am #

          HELLS YEAH!

          • jayne February 14, 2013 at 11:50 am #

            Instead of the Red Hat Society, we can be the Pink Panty Party!

  9. The Cutter February 14, 2013 at 11:37 am #

    Can’t argue with 4 or 9. I can’t argue with them on any day of the year.

    • La La February 14, 2013 at 11:39 am #

      I completely agree with you.

  10. Sandee February 14, 2013 at 12:35 pm #

    ‘Peggy is a whore’ — hahaha! — ah knew eet!

    • La La February 15, 2013 at 9:20 am #

      Me too. In all seriousness, all those guys better get tested.

  11. jeandayfriday February 14, 2013 at 2:03 pm #

    Perfect list! I did try and fatten up a few of my co-workers today with mountains of chocolate. It was so much fun! ;)

    • La La February 15, 2013 at 9:19 am #

      Those suckers!

  12. aparnauteur February 14, 2013 at 4:34 pm #

    Pretty underwear puts a positive spin on almost everything. Oscar Wilde probably alluded to this when he talked about how important it is to be happy alone. Simple yet insighful post. Happy V’day to you :)

    • La La February 15, 2013 at 9:19 am #

      You’re right. All days should mean pretty underwear for this reason.

  13. Monk Monkey February 14, 2013 at 4:40 pm #

    You wrote a list of funny things to do on Valentine’s Day. It was funny. And it was a list. I would like to say thank you for this list. It was a funny list, all about things you can do on Valentine’s Day. Did you write this list?

    • La La February 15, 2013 at 9:17 am #

      I actually wrote this list with my own two laser eyes.

  14. ridicuryder February 14, 2013 at 6:06 pm #

    La La,
    I’m more of an equal opportunity stinker…..I like to squeak one out just before getting off elevators. I am otherwise 50/50 on the rest of your list, except I am ready to give the pink panties a try, getting a three – pack on my next Target run.
    RidicuRyder

    • La La February 15, 2013 at 9:16 am #

      Let me know how it goes!

  15. Maddie Cochere February 14, 2013 at 11:28 pm #

    There are 30 minutes left in this happy, red day full of m&m’s and farts. I suspect you are still out dancing, or you are unable to read this because the bottle of wine is now empty. Either way, I’m so happy to read your pink panties are where they belong and not on your head today. Happy Valentine’s Day, La La!!

    • La La February 15, 2013 at 9:18 am #

      Aw you too! (I was definitely asleep)

  16. The Hook February 15, 2013 at 5:01 pm #

    #11.Visit La La and laugh until you pee your pants.

  17. David Stewart February 15, 2013 at 9:53 pm #

    Sounds like a recipe for a great day. Now I really want some M&Ms. Waay too suggestible.

  18. Romantic Dominant February 16, 2013 at 1:21 pm #

    Made me laugh

  19. Madame Weebles February 16, 2013 at 4:22 pm #

    You’re so right. I didn’t eat any M&Ms on Valentine’s Day. I better go house a few bags right now to make up for it.

    • La La February 17, 2013 at 4:10 pm #

      I hope you had both the coconut and the peanut kind, too.

  20. arranqhenderson February 20, 2013 at 7:20 pm #

    what an absolutely fal-safe list. I am going to pin this to my bedroom wall. Or stick it in my next-year diary. Or something. Good list.

    • La La February 23, 2013 at 7:56 am #

      Stick it behind your toilet!

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