Ode to a Stray Hair

31 Jul

At first I was like, “Is this my life now? Should I really publish a poem about a stray hair?” and then I remembered that I published a poem about a squeaky bra and also that this is my place to play with poesy and post photos and do what I please. So there.

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A stray chin hair after the storm

A stray chin hair after the storm

 

O, stray hair! An insult
to time, thou art most unwelcome
upon mine chin or stomach or ample bosom
or wherever you decide to pop up next.

You are at your worst when coarse,
dark in shade,
and when my boyfriend is first
to recognize your sneaky, hideous violation.

Be gone, darkling, I beg!
Dissolve into the forest dim,
for I have enough hair, already experience
plenty of awkwardness–

and need not your further assistance.

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59 Responses to “Ode to a Stray Hair”

  1. Carrie Rubin July 31, 2013 at 1:32 pm #

    You speak for all women, I’m sure…

    Like

    • La La July 31, 2013 at 1:35 pm #

      I have a good feeling that you’re right. ;-)

      Like

  2. rheath40 July 31, 2013 at 1:43 pm #

    I have one my chin. Thank God for my hand dandy tweezers. :-)

    Like

    • La La July 31, 2013 at 2:00 pm #

      It might be on your back tomorrow.

      Like

      • rheath40 July 31, 2013 at 2:02 pm #

        I just found one sticking straight of my neck. Awesome!

        Like

  3. Maggie O'C July 31, 2013 at 1:47 pm #

    This is almost more of sonnet, beautiful either way. My chin hair has left for now but I’m sure shall return and being an inch and a half long and I’ll wonder how I didn’t notice it and wonder how many other people did.

    Like

    • La La July 31, 2013 at 1:59 pm #

      It’s like it comes out overnight or something!

      Like

  4. Katie July 31, 2013 at 1:54 pm #

    It’s the worst when you have bangs.

    Like

    • La La July 31, 2013 at 2:00 pm #

      I regret every time I try out the bangs thing!

      Like

  5. Fat Bottom Girl July 31, 2013 at 2:04 pm #

    I hate it when that happens!! lol

    Like

    • La La July 31, 2013 at 2:07 pm #

      Haha, I know. So embarrassing and other people probably don’t notice…but they might!

      Like

  6. jai July 31, 2013 at 2:17 pm #

    This poem speaks to me

    Like

    • La La July 31, 2013 at 2:31 pm #

      Glad I could find an audience with this one, jamalamadingdong.

      Like

  7. The Bumble Files July 31, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

    Oh La La, what’s to be done about those pesky strays? They are always a nuisance!

    Like

  8. becca3416 July 31, 2013 at 2:20 pm #

    Omg this is so funny. Why?? Why does this happen?? Why are we the last to see these intruders ?

    Like

    • La La July 31, 2013 at 2:30 pm #

      To be honest, I looked it up and couldn’t find a good answer. I was annoyed and decided a poem was necessary. Being a woman continues to be an ever eventful journey!

      Like

  9. diirrty July 31, 2013 at 4:08 pm #

    Women get stray hairs. Executives of hair care products are men. Coincidence? Conspiracy! (You didn’t hear it from me)

    Like

    • La La July 31, 2013 at 4:32 pm #

      And we get rid of hairs so men will still be attracted to us. Aaahhhhhhh!

      Like

  10. Lori D July 31, 2013 at 6:05 pm #

    Hey, if I can write a poem about bugs, you can certainly write one about stray hair. Actually, you look good with that stray, sistah.

    Like

    • La La August 2, 2013 at 9:55 am #

      Thanks! I’ll work that stray hair all around town. ;-)

      Like

  11. R. Hans Miller July 31, 2013 at 6:06 pm #

    I don’t so much worry about the hairs on my chin, but that one REALLY long eyebrow hair is a sneaky little s***. Comes in all camouflaged, and I only notice when it’s like two inches long and the humidity has caused it to curl into an odd twisted bit of wire.

    Like

    • La La August 2, 2013 at 9:53 am #

      Hahaha I’ve seen guys with that! It always gives me a giggle.

      Like

  12. ddupre315 July 31, 2013 at 7:16 pm #

    There should be a support group for women with random stray hairs but maybe it would fill up too fast. Online forum perhaps. Once I hit 40 the hairs began a conspiracy.

    Like

    • La La August 2, 2013 at 9:53 am #

      Oh no, that’s bad news. I’m Italian, I wonder if that means they will come sooner and in a battalion!

      Like

  13. Viciously Sweet July 31, 2013 at 7:54 pm #

    Oh that random hair has plagued us all. I hate when it shows up in my chest area… it makes me feel like I’m going to turn into Gaston from Beauty & the Beast at any moment. I hope your hair stays away…

    Like

    • La La August 2, 2013 at 9:52 am #

      HAHA Gaston. I’m seeing this now, you fly through the door with an enlarge chest and like 2 hairs poking out!

      Like

  14. talesfromthemotherland August 1, 2013 at 2:46 am #

    Lucky you! Only one? ;-) By the way, each time I see a picture of you, I try and reconcile it with your post on Outlier a while back… such a beautiful, beautiful woman, worrying for even a second about how you look, let alone a hair. The poem, it rocks.

    Like

    • La La August 2, 2013 at 9:59 am #

      One for now. I’m Italian, so I’m sure I’ll be adding about three per year as the journey continues! I shall embrace the hair. And thank you so much, by the way. I blushed a bit behind this here computer screen!

      Like

  15. kenthinksaloud August 1, 2013 at 2:58 am #

    Ah it’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to get on your blog and I’ve missed your madness! I’m afraid I have little sympathy on this one as stray hairs stopped being a problem for me long ago… :(

    Like

    • La La August 2, 2013 at 9:42 am #

      Awww hahahaha. Thanks for stopping by. The madness continues.

      Like

  16. Circe August 1, 2013 at 10:21 am #

    Haha! Yes! Our bodies, Ourselves. Wasn’t that the title of the book from the 70s? Our psychological & emotional experiences, our interactions with others, do not occur in a void, but in our bodies. Not a very hairy one myself–I hate my fine, Swedish hair, but I don’t suffer random hair humiliation–I am at an age where I fight wrinkles! At family reunion, my female cousins were amused to learn that I rarely use deodorant. (Truly, I rarely need it.) But my explanation was “Who has time for deodorant. I am busy putting on face cream!” ;-) What I stay away from is face makeup, that weird beige stuff. Any suggestions on how to tell a cousin who uses too much that it looks awful, and that she needs to wax the peach fuzz hair on her face? Maybe the makeup artist cousin can handle the job.
    Who is to say that a stray hair is a trivial topic?!

    Like

    • La La August 2, 2013 at 9:42 am #

      We get weird about our hairs, it’s okay. Wrinkles are another fight! Makeup artist should definitely do the job, because she can teach her how much to actually use if she truly needs it to even her skin tone!

      Like

  17. Andrew August 1, 2013 at 10:25 am #

    Ha, darkling. You’re so medieval. But I wouldn’t worry about anything if I were you. Everyone knows beards are just a symbol of wisdom. You’ll be the wisest lady in all the lands!

    Like

    • La La August 2, 2013 at 9:39 am #

      What about mustache…most of them end up there.

      Like

      • Andrew August 8, 2013 at 12:01 am #

        That works too. You can tell people your Inigo Montoya.

        Like

  18. David Stewart August 2, 2013 at 8:03 am #

    From a guy’s perspective, the worst stray hairs are the mustache hairs that decide to buck the trend and go straight up, tickling my nose. Those are the worst.

    Like

    • La La August 2, 2013 at 9:38 am #

      That’s sounds both awful and very funny. I think on men, the funniest looking ones are ear strays!

      Like

      • David Stewart August 2, 2013 at 10:22 am #

        Yeah, that’s pretty bad too. At least it’s easier to see up your own nose and catch those, but ear hairs come out of nowhere and everyone else sees them except you (hmm, now I’m paranoid).

        Like

  19. Bob August 2, 2013 at 9:35 am #

    Men are walking stray hairs. Embrace your inner hair beast and rejoice!

    Like

    • La La August 2, 2013 at 9:37 am #

      Hahaha, especially those ear strays!

      Like

      • Bob August 2, 2013 at 10:35 am #

        Ears are the least of your worries, I think I have a baby Cthulhu coming out of each nostril.

        Like

        • BrainRants August 2, 2013 at 9:33 pm #

          OMFG. BEST. DESCRIPTION. FUCKING. EVER.
          Word, brother.

          Like

  20. BrainRants August 2, 2013 at 9:32 pm #

    I too, have chin hair. Also, my general pilation seems to be headed south for warmer climes.

    My take: so the fuck what? We evolved from apes, why are we surprised? And, boob sweat. Yay!

    Like

  21. rocha harris December 16, 2013 at 12:26 pm #

    Are you a Model?

    Like

    • La La December 16, 2013 at 12:32 pm #

      Err no, that would be cool though.

      Like

  22. Trent Lewin April 19, 2014 at 11:26 am #

    Oy, how come you don’t write poems anymore, or least that I’ve seen in the time I’ve been following you? I like your poetry.

    Like

    • La La April 19, 2014 at 11:27 am #

      I guess because it all comes out as romancey stuff now and no one seems to appreciate it…

      Like

      • Trent Lewin April 19, 2014 at 11:42 am #

        I’d appreciate it. Honestly I suck at poetry, but I like to read it, and I’m a die-hard romantic at heart, so the more it tugs at me, the better. Plus I like your humour. Poets are so damn serious sometimes, they kind of bleed the fun out of things… which is okay, I guess, but not all the time please.

        Like

        • La La April 19, 2014 at 12:45 pm #

          Wow thanks. Yes sir, I’ll write one. Honestly, I can’t deny a poetry request–whether it’s humor or something involving heartstrings. :)

          Like

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