Ricky

20 Feb

We had a meeting this morning. When it was over, this guy Ricky asked for my office phone number so I could give him more details. So I gave it to him and then said in my proudest, smoothest voice, “Ricky, don’t lose that number.”

Yes, my friends, it was a perfectly executed joke about one of Steely Dan’s most popular songs, “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number.” Not only that, but it was expertly delivered to the perfect audience–a room full of 40-50 year old men who all appreciated it and laughed…except for Ricky. My smile faded as he sat there looking at me blankly. Then, the most preposterous thing happened:

 

______

Me: You know, like the song by Steely Dan?

Ricky: I don’t know Steely Dan.

______

 
Weird.

I let it slide, but I’ve been stewing ever since. Really, Ricky?  How is it possible to have zero knowledge of Steely Dan when you’re an American man in your 40s–especially if your name is Ricky? You’re actually telling me no one has used that line on you before? Do you have a radio? Can you hear? Do you even enjoy music? 

Are you really saying your friends never mentioned it? That’s impossible. Clearly you have no friends or the worst friends ever.

You know, it’s not like you have to be in love with Steely Dan to know the song. You don’t even have to know the song is by Steely Dan. What’s important is that the majority of American men over the age of 25 have heard “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number,” even if it was just at the grocery store or in a friend’s car or something.

That includes you, Ricky. I know you’ve heard it and I’m on to you, you monster.

Phew.

So get this, you guys. As I was sitting here writing this and stewing away, I got an email. From Ricky.

 

Screen Shot3 2014

 

Ricky went right ahead and lost my number. Unless he’s a great liar, he may not even understand how funny that is. What an ass.

I refuse to give it to him again. Surely this is a sick joke or some kind of plan to make me lose my mind. Whatever. You can go send my middle finger off in a letter to yourself, bud, because you’ll never win. Do you hear me?

You’ll NEVER WIN.

 

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105 Responses to “Ricky”

  1. eric keys February 20, 2014 at 3:11 pm #

    Pod person. No doubt about it. You’re lucky to be alive.

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:13 pm #

      I KNEW IT! Thank you. I’m so glad I got out of there.

      Like

      • eric keys February 20, 2014 at 3:18 pm #

        Crank The Dead Kennedy’s “Give Me Convenience of Give Me Death”. It will cause Pod people to disintegrate when played at a high enough volume.

        Like

        • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:21 pm #

          Good idea. I will send it in an email and see what happens.

          Like

          • eric keys February 20, 2014 at 3:23 pm #

            Let us know.

            Like

  2. mikeakin1 February 20, 2014 at 3:12 pm #

    OMG…how in the hell can he not have heard of Steely Dan? Grrrrrrr!! he’s pissing me off and I don’t know him. :)

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:14 pm #

      Maybe he was in a room for the first 40 years of his life.

      Like

      • Kathleen February 20, 2014 at 3:23 pm #

        For all you know, he could have been in THAT room for the first 40 years of his life.

        Like

      • mikeakin1 February 20, 2014 at 3:24 pm #

        Had to be. I’m really dumbfounded over how he wouldn’t have heard of them.

        Like

  3. LivingDeadGirl February 20, 2014 at 3:15 pm #

    I second Eric’s comment.

    Like

  4. Kathleen February 20, 2014 at 3:18 pm #

    I could NOT have told you that it was Steely Dan, YET recognized the line when you said it. Because of your age bracket, I dont really know why YOU know the song, but HE SURELY should have. Ricky is obviously a clone or something.

    I also can pull from memory, and cannot tell you the band, 8-6-7-5-3-0-9

    Ricky should know that one too.

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:22 pm #

      Oh I’ll be sure of it!

      Like

  5. El Guapo February 20, 2014 at 3:19 pm #

    I bet he knows Phil Collins – Don’t Lose My Number.
    Meh.

    If he hires you as a consultant, please charge him for every minute of the musical education he so desperately needs.

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:22 pm #

      Actually, that could be a great job. Hmmmm…

      Like

      • El Guapo February 20, 2014 at 3:24 pm #

        Sure, up to the point where you need to start banging your head on the desk to relieve the pressure…

        The guy I sit next to knows NOTHING about music.
        It’s painful…

        Like

        • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:26 pm #

          Oh noooo! My condolences. We must have have good parents and friends and radios and ears.

          Like

          • El Guapo February 20, 2014 at 4:07 pm #

            Our typical conversations:
            Me – have you ever heard of…
            Him – No. Who are they?
            Me – Why do I even bother…

            Like

  6. Lori D February 20, 2014 at 3:23 pm #

    Oh, come on, is he kidding? I mean, that email sounds like something I’d have written just to be sarcastic. Are you sure he’s not joking? If he’s not, what a durfwad!

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:27 pm #

      This is why I am going nuts. Is he playing with my MIND!? How long must I endure this torture!?

      Like

      • Lori D February 20, 2014 at 3:31 pm #

        I wish I could tell you if he’s playing around or not. Have you known him for long? If so, does he seem that stupid?

        Like

        • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:35 pm #

          He does seem rather off, and I am with a bunch of scientists. This could be the real deal here, Lori. Time for an intervention.

          Like

  7. Carrie Rubin February 20, 2014 at 3:26 pm #

    He must be an alien. That’s the only explanation.

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:29 pm #

      I trust your opinion–I’ll report him.

      Like

  8. Anonymous February 20, 2014 at 3:30 pm #

    You were perfect!! Ugh, I can’t believe that line was wasted…maybe its something with the name?

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:43 pm #

      He must be out to get me. That’s all I can figure.

      Like

  9. jayne February 20, 2014 at 3:31 pm #

    He obviously has poor observation skills with very limited auditory abilities …is he the boss’ son?

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:35 pm #

      No, but they are friends. I love that connection.

      Like

      • jayne February 20, 2014 at 3:59 pm #

        There HAD to be a logical reason!

        Like

  10. Twindaddy February 20, 2014 at 3:34 pm #

    It sucks when you have to explain a joke. What a tool.

    Like

  11. Amy Reese February 20, 2014 at 3:37 pm #

    This is so cracking me up, La La!! Ha ha. How can he NOT know about this, indeed! And, then he loses it?! What?! Ha ha. I just had to listen to the song. It’s one of my favs.

    P.S. Sorry I didn’t get back to your last comment. I need a coach, too. Don’t despair. Just pick up your writing where you left it, like no time was lost at all!

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:39 pm #

      Don’t worry about it (not referring to Ricky, you can worry about that). I know, I know, though. I am too hard on myself, I guess. Listen to your own advice too!

      Like

  12. Bob February 20, 2014 at 3:44 pm #

    Strange you should say that about Ricky. I saw the title in my e mail and that’s where my brain went! Without even seeing your post. Buy the way who names a kid Ricky, unless you’re a family of racoon’s or a vaguely Latino band leader married to a crazy redhead.
    Jeeze some parents are just cruel, of course I don’t know Mr. Ricky’s linage could be he’s got some Alabama wood critter in his blood?

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:57 pm #

      I’ll do some research. He does have quite large circles under his eyes. Hmmmm..

      Like

      • Bob February 20, 2014 at 4:02 pm #

        Do you know what Steely Dan is/where they got the band name? Hint it’s from a book.

        Like

  13. westwickletimes February 20, 2014 at 3:46 pm #

    It’s like when you reference a song or film to someone and they say, ‘Er..that’s a bit before my time. ‘

    If there there was only some way of recording media for future generations to enjoy

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:47 pm #

      You should get on that. You’ll probably make hundreds.

      Like

  14. Katie February 20, 2014 at 3:57 pm #

    Steely Dan…?

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 3:59 pm #

      Ricky? Is that you?

      Like

      • Katie February 20, 2014 at 4:00 pm #

        I’m so embarrassed right now.

        Like

        • ddupre315 February 20, 2014 at 5:59 pm #

          ok you MUST spend an hour every night listening to music from the 70’s and 80’s. Music isn’t all just Justin Beiber and Miley Virus.

          Like

          • Katie February 20, 2014 at 6:01 pm #

            I just finished listening to “Wheel in the Sky” thank you very much.

            Like

            • ddupre315 February 20, 2014 at 6:02 pm #

              Well done young grasshopper

              Like

            • La La February 20, 2014 at 7:04 pm #

              Dooooon’t know where I’ll be tooommmoooorrrow

              Like

  15. Maggie O'C February 20, 2014 at 4:33 pm #

    That’s just stoopid. I am quite impressed that YOU know the song, young lady!

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 4:37 pm #

      Guess I grew up on classic rock!

      Like

      • Kathleen February 20, 2014 at 5:00 pm #

        I grew up on classic rock too, but at the time, it was just called ‘rock’

        hahahahahahaha :D

        Like

  16. peachyteachy February 20, 2014 at 4:59 pm #

    Maybe he has a super dry sense of humor. Because if that were intentional, sending you an email stating that he had lost your number would be freaking hilarious. How is it that he has not been fielding that remark on a daily basis for his entire adult life? Disturbing. You might want to change your number. In case he finds it. Oh, and thanks for putting that song on a loop in my brain. It could be worse.

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 5:32 pm #

      I’m waiting for him to tell me it was a dry, quick reply, but he didn’t even crack an itty bitty smile. I’d be amazed if no one said it to him before though. Good luck falling asleep with that in your head…it really could be worse. John Jacob jingleheimer smith, for example.

      Like

  17. merbear74 February 20, 2014 at 5:23 pm #

    I laughed so hard reading this. Thank you.

    Like

  18. Maddie Cochere February 20, 2014 at 5:39 pm #

    This is so funny, La La. Yes – don’t give him your number again. From here on out, if he messages you, respond to him in song lyrics only.

    Like

  19. ddupre315 February 20, 2014 at 5:57 pm #

    ok first of all…a 40 year old still calling himself Ricky? Hmm…suspicious right there. Maybe you should respond to the email asking if he has Jenny’s number.

    Like

  20. Trent Lewin February 20, 2014 at 7:09 pm #

    I spat my beef ribs out laughing. And they’re bloody expensive!

    In defence of Ricky, and sorry to all whom I offend, Steely Dan is like the lamest band ever, and that song kills me anytime I hear it. Just kills me. Feels like a song from a 70’s soap opera that plays at the end of an unsatisfyingly-unerotic love scene. Cue the commercial.

    But thanks for the laugh, honestly, that was pretty awesome.

    Like

    • La La February 20, 2014 at 7:23 pm #

      Haha thank you. That’s the thing though,–you know the song! I am not a fan either, but I know the song. I hope you salvaged the rib bits as I would HATE to have you waste any. I love ribs. I’m starving and now imagining that unsatisfying, unerotic love scene….eeew.

      Like

      • Trent Lewin February 20, 2014 at 7:30 pm #

        Sorry… I can’t finish the ribs, they’re beef ribs, too big. I’d send you some if I could…

        Like

        • La La February 20, 2014 at 7:55 pm #

          SO JEALOUS.

          Like

          • Trent Lewin February 20, 2014 at 8:10 pm #

            Sorry. If it’s any consolation, I’m stuck in a strange town in the middle of a snow storm with no place to stay and no clothes or toothbrush or anything…

            Like

            • La La February 20, 2014 at 8:14 pm #

              Ok well that doesn’t help…. and I hope you have a place to sleep?

              Like

            • Trent Lewin February 20, 2014 at 9:13 pm #

              I found one! All’s good.

              Like

            • La La February 20, 2014 at 9:15 pm #

              Yay!

              Like

  21. Kourtney Heintz February 20, 2014 at 9:21 pm #

    He’s gotta be lying. Just to sabotage your joke. Or he’s lived Amish all his life up until a year ago. I do love the karmic justice of him losing your number though. Bet your boss loved that!

    Like

  22. gingerfightback February 21, 2014 at 2:21 am #

    Tough break. I think Ricky has all the makings of a successful corporate career. The attributes he has displayed point in this direction.

    Like

  23. pivoine68 February 21, 2014 at 4:24 am #

    You made me snort and laugh in the most grotesque, unlady like manner! Thanks LaLa!

    Do you know of the film, “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble?” Maybe you were not born yet but that movie scarred my already traumatizing childhood and now, I’m certain that this Ricky guy IS that boy now a man losing your number. It’s like the full circle. This episode is giving me closure. Thank you, thank you!

    Bises,
    Dawn

    PS: I think the boy died at the end….so much for closure.

    Like

  24. kenthinksaloud February 21, 2014 at 4:58 am #

    Brilliant LaLa – I’m not even American and even I know this reference! He should be shot – or awarded a prize for the most fantastic dead-pan drive-LaLa-nuts-humor! ;)

    Like

  25. theclocktowersunset February 21, 2014 at 5:04 am #

    At first I was gonna say, “well played”,. Then his response…..hmmm… I think that and with the addition of the email, he might very well be fucking with you. Either way, my other first comment was and is to make your out going message, instead of you know: “You have reached the desk of the charm city chick, she is unavailable at the moment, please leave a message.” to… you guessed it, RICKY……… BTW, I think I read somewhere Steely Dan is named after a porn character or something, in regards to Bob’s question above.

    Also, I did have John Jacob Jinglehiemer Smith running through my head all day today. Strange you mentioned that.

    CTS

    Like

    • La La February 21, 2014 at 8:18 am #

      Weird about the song…assuming you aren’t fucking with me, haha. ;-)

      Like

  26. theclocktowersunset February 21, 2014 at 5:12 am #

    Oh, and I’m from up north too and we swear like sailors. It didn’t til just now cross my mind to watch my tongue, I apologize if my language is offensive. Please edit to taste.

    Like

    • La La February 21, 2014 at 8:17 am #

      No problem. I don’t cuss as much anymore in my posts because my father found the blog and yelled at me. You can say fuck all you want though!

      Like

  27. Pixie Girl February 21, 2014 at 7:40 am #

    Sorry for commenting just now, I liked it as soon as you posted but then got a fit due to all the laughing and only recovered my motor functions now.

    No, well, I was at a work conference.

    Anyway here I am – this was HILARIOUS! Even I know the tune and I’m a bloody foreigner who visited the States once!

    I so, so, so hope he was playing you. If he did, that would be brilliant and I would become instant friends with him.

    Like

    • La La February 21, 2014 at 7:51 am #

      Work conference/laughter fit. All the same. :) He was likely playing me…I just really like to win in those moments haha. Xoxo, hope you’re well!

      Like

      • Pixie Girl February 21, 2014 at 8:02 am #

        I love winning like that, as well, I’m sure you did ;)

        Thank you! I’m recovering, physically and emotionally.

        Like

        • La La February 21, 2014 at 8:05 am #

          Good, as this is better than “stuck.” I’ve been keeping you in my thoughts!

          Like

          • Pixie Girl February 21, 2014 at 8:06 am #

            Sometimes I think ‘stuck’ would be better, haha! But thank you so much for your thoughts xx

            Like

            • La La February 21, 2014 at 8:15 am #

              You know, I agree. Thinking and emotional work is such a pain in the ass!!

              Like

  28. aliceatwonderland February 21, 2014 at 9:49 am #

    People are unreal. Like did you know that Twindaddy had never heard of “The Gambler” before I brought it up? Seriously. Know when to hold ‘em. Know when to fold ‘em. I don’t even like country music and no way could I have ever missed it. He has problems.

    Like

    • La La February 21, 2014 at 10:43 am #

      Know when to walk away, know when to run. Wait, really? I don’t like country either and I know all about it. Oh, Twindaddy.

      Like

    • Twindaddy February 21, 2014 at 11:03 am #

      You shall rue this.

      Like

  29. ashley828 February 21, 2014 at 10:30 am #

    STEELY DAN! How hilarious!

    Like

    • La La February 21, 2014 at 10:42 am #

      :) :) haha, thanks for stopping by, Ashley!

      Like

  30. David Stewart February 22, 2014 at 4:54 am #

    I’m listening to the song now after looking it up on Youtube. I’ve never heard it before in my life, although I hate to admit that since you might de-friend me. :) Maybe I get a pass since my name isn’t Ricky.

    Like

    • La La February 22, 2014 at 6:43 pm #

      You do, you totally get a pass. If you name were Ricky I would first tell you to grow up and use the name Rick already and then I would be all mad and get on a flight to Korea just to shake you.

      Like

      • David Stewart February 22, 2014 at 8:39 pm #

        Sounds fair, although if you want to come over to Korea anyway, that’s cool. :)

        Like

        • La La February 24, 2014 at 5:39 pm #

          *Packs bags, escapes next polar vortex and snowstorm, shows up in Korea just shouting your name at the airport*

          Like

          • David Stewart February 24, 2014 at 10:01 pm #

            it takes 4 hours for me to get to the airport, so if you can give me that much advance warning, I’ll be there :)

            Like

  31. Sandee February 22, 2014 at 1:42 pm #

    Oh shit! Seriously?! You can’t make this shit up! And he ACTUALLY lost your number — hehehehe!

    Like

  32. Carolina Courtland February 22, 2014 at 2:23 pm #

    What a weirdo. He should have known that line. Did he grow up in a cave??

    I get irritated when I make a reference to some commonly known American thing and the American born and raised person doesn’t get it. I was in a convo with someone the other day and he claimed to have never heard of STAR TREK. How is that even possible??

    Like

    • La La February 22, 2014 at 6:41 pm #

      For real? That’s just ridiculous. I bet he was secretly obsessed with it or something and didn’t want anyone to know. ;-)

      Like

  33. ridicuryder February 23, 2014 at 12:08 am #

    La Swan La,
    Don’t be too hard on Ricky, he hasn’t deprogrammed from the cult as well as some of us and his head injury isn’t always obvious.
    RR

    Like

    • La La February 24, 2014 at 5:38 pm #

      Fine. But only because you say so.

      Like

  34. Blossom Brouillard February 24, 2014 at 12:05 am #

    Those guy sounds like a douche. First of all, I have a mistrust of men over 30 something who call themselves by their names adding y, like, Bobby, Jimmy, Dopey. Secondly, I was thinking of cutting that sind and asked my 24 y year old son I’d he’s ever heard it. He was insulted that I would. But the biggest tip off to douchedom to me is the email. “I have to prepare the a meeting so we will have to talk tomorrow”. Translation: I’m a very important person. Let’s get that straight from the start. I will make time for you when I can. Hell!,We all have stuff to do.Right? Sounds pretty insecure to me. Three strikes bud. And if he lost your number after all that, he wasn’t meant to have it!!!! Sorry for the rant. I adore men, just not the fools.

    Like

  35. Chowderhead February 26, 2014 at 8:01 pm #

    Am I allowed to use the word ‘Epic’ around here? Or is that word off limits?

    Like

    • La La February 26, 2014 at 8:18 pm #

      It’s welcome as no one has ever referred to anything I’ve done or said as “epic” and it will likely never happen again. So thank you. :)

      Like

  36. Andrew March 3, 2014 at 11:27 pm #

    Stupid Ricky.

    Like

    • La La March 6, 2014 at 11:52 am #

      Yeah he’s pretty much a dick.

      Like

  37. Dylan Dailey April 26, 2014 at 8:00 pm #

    Any major dude wil tell you that guy is a dork…

    Like

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Stupid Ricky | tales of a charm city chick - March 25, 2014

    […] you guys remember my nemesis, Ricky, right? The guy I work with? You know, the guy who didn’t laugh at my Steely Dan joke about losing […]

    Like

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