Oh, Hello, I’m Drunk

2 Apr

Oh hi, everyone. I’m drunky at the bar on a Wednesday watching baseball. Whatevs. Here’s what I’m thinking:

1. Lots of balls up in baseball. Long ball. Curve ball. Balls in general.

2. This bar is a sausage fest. Mmmm, sausage. No, but seriously. Lots of dudes.

3. Just had a shot of tequila. It’s gross, but I pulled it off as a sassy shimmy.

4. Yay sports!

5. My boyfriend just said “if I came back and there was caviar here, I wouldn’t be mad.” So he’s maybe wasted (don’t worry, MADD, we’re walking home).

6. I just showed this to him and he said he didn’t say it and now he’s talking about Seinfeld while I’m typing.

7. Now he’s singing Lady Gaga.

8. I just played “Who Let The Dogs Out” on the jukebox. Gonna play it again soon.

9. Can’t wait to go to the beach and swim with exotic animals and run away in the Honduran jungle and become their island princess queen.

10. Seriously. It will be so romantic and my dude will hold me like in those romancey novel covers and then I am going to hold a monkey and swim with jaguars and ride a horse down the beach with wind in my hair and you are all gonna be jeeeeelous.

11. Sean just told me to say Michael Jordan playing for the White Sox was amazing and ’90s Ken Griffey Jr. was also neat.

12. The bartender just made fun of the way I say “huh?” and my response was to make my monkey face and now they’re talking about the monkey face. I’m leaving. Bye. I love you guys. So much.

13. PS – Sean just said “the last time I saw 3 balls and 2 strikes, I was at a circus.” (K, bud.)

14. He told me to add “circus in Tijuana” but I don’t feel like editing.

15. He’s lucky he’s cute. :)

16. Him: Baby wants mozzarellas?
Me: Sure.
Him: You are my Sicilian baby queen.
Me: (900 million smiles for infinity miles and stuff)

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59 Responses to “Oh, Hello, I’m Drunk”

  1. Ned's Blog April 2, 2014 at 9:17 pm #

    Wow! The seventh inning stretch is going to be epic! Have fun ;)

    Like

    • La La April 2, 2014 at 9:20 pm #

      It’s passed that part. We’re losing. Such an angry sausage fest!

      Like

      • Ned's Blog April 2, 2014 at 9:33 pm #

        I can imagine. The anger, not the sausages…

        Like

  2. El Guapo April 2, 2014 at 9:30 pm #

    I think the only prescription is to take two more tequilas, and tweet about the hangover in the morning.

    Keep having fun!

    Like

  3. paulasg75 April 2, 2014 at 9:32 pm #

    THERE IS NO MICHAEL JORDAN IN BASEBALL!! HE IS SACRED!! Sorry I yelled. Carry on.

    Like

    • La La April 2, 2014 at 9:34 pm #

      It’s ok. Only people from Chicago can see this. I swear.

      Like

  4. pouringmyartout April 2, 2014 at 9:37 pm #

    uh… never play ‘who let the dogs out’ at a ‘sausage fest’… just sayin’…

    Like

    • La La April 2, 2014 at 9:41 pm #

      Woof woof woof woof!

      Like

      • pouringmyartout April 2, 2014 at 9:43 pm #

        Well now you startled the crack squirrels that live inside my head… thanks…

        Like

  5. Bob April 2, 2014 at 9:41 pm #

    Aww, you’re cute when you’re drunk.

    Like

  6. markbialczak April 2, 2014 at 10:22 pm #

    The drunky post is way more inclusive than the drunk dial. Here you get to share the irony and pathos. And Who Let the Dog Out, twice.

    Like

  7. ddupre315 April 2, 2014 at 10:33 pm #

    This put a smile on my face but I don’t envy you the hangover coming.

    Like

    • La La April 2, 2014 at 10:46 pm #

      No hangover. I’m magic. (Not actually magic).

      Like

  8. Trent Lewin April 2, 2014 at 10:37 pm #

    Lush! Save some for meeeeeeeee……. Seriously, getting tanked on a Wednesday while watching baseball… this is my ideal evening right.

    I’m still trying to figure out the 3 balls 2 strikes circus in Tijuana thing.

    Like

    • La La April 2, 2014 at 10:45 pm #

      (Me too it said balls whatevs)

      Like

      • Trent Lewin April 2, 2014 at 10:47 pm #

        Balls. Balls balls balls.

        Like

        • La La April 2, 2014 at 10:52 pm #

          Hehehehehhehe

          Like

          • Trent Lewin April 2, 2014 at 10:52 pm #

            That doesn’t sound like a vodka shot to me!

            Like

            • La La April 2, 2014 at 10:57 pm #

              Ok. Fif one. You’re welcome

              Like

            • La La April 2, 2014 at 10:57 pm #

              Did. Yeesh

              Like

            • Trent Lewin April 2, 2014 at 11:25 pm #

              The only thing that properly puts down the taste of one vodka shot is another one, La La.

              Like

            • Trent Lewin April 2, 2014 at 11:26 pm #

              By the way, I think you’re some kind of comic book hero. I picture you in a cape. Drinking on Wednesday, watching baseball… awesome.

              Like

            • La La April 3, 2014 at 12:09 am #

              La La the Radiant Poop. Maybe. After 2 vodka. This took 8 yrs to type.

              Like

            • Trent Lewin April 3, 2014 at 6:16 pm #

              How’d you feel this morning?

              Like

            • La La April 4, 2014 at 9:02 am #

              Honestly, I didn’t feel too bad yesterday. It was surprising. Before I went to bed I chugged water though, and I guess that helped! Telling me to take vodka shots….hmph!

              Like

  9. pastramibasket April 3, 2014 at 2:38 am #

    Drunk too, for starters, and have been watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse in a bar. I have to say I worked in a retail store in the music area and we would play “who let the dogs out” and the theme song from “Mortal Kombat the movie” just to irritate people. It was the best.

    Like

    • La La April 3, 2014 at 8:30 am #

      Yes!!!! This made my morning hangover worth while. Hope you had weird Pee Wee dreams.

      Like

  10. becca3416 April 3, 2014 at 3:12 am #

    Here is my real comment. I gleeked approximately 10 times while reading this. No particular reason. Other than that I am drunk and yawning which = geleekage. I enjoyed the post thought. You know that. Glad I confessed that. <3

    Like

    • La La April 3, 2014 at 8:31 am #

      Tweet drunk party was fun. I only gleek when I’m in pools, how do you even do it?

      Like

  11. TJLubrano April 3, 2014 at 4:50 am #

    Aww I loved this! :) Especially 9 & 10. 16 was so sweet too. Actually I loved them all haha.

    Like

  12. kenthinksaloud April 3, 2014 at 4:53 am #

    Loved this. Get drunk more often ;)

    Like

  13. David Stewart April 3, 2014 at 6:52 am #

    This probably shows where my mind is, but when I read you were drunk(ish), my first thought was that you have excellent spelling and grammar when you’ve been drinking. :) How many shots is the spelling/punctuation decline point?

    Like

    • La La April 3, 2014 at 8:28 am #

      Autocorrect was extremely helpful. I did go back and squint my way through it to fix a couple words but overall, posting from my phone was a good idea! At home there would have been more mistakes, no doubt.

      Like

      • David Stewart April 3, 2014 at 9:18 am #

        What kind of phone do you have? I generally don’t like posting long things from my phone, although it is easier than it used to be.

        Like

        • La La April 3, 2014 at 9:26 am #

          It’s a Droid RAZR. It’s nearly 2 yrs old and I’m due for an upgrade. My fingers are a bit small so that’s helpful though. I hadn’t used it before for posting! What do you have?

          Like

          • David Stewart April 3, 2014 at 9:54 am #

            I have a Galaxy S3. It’s actually the first smartphone I’ve ever had and I’ve never even owned a cellphone in the States, so I can’t really bank on my experience. It’s a nice phone though but after the laptop, writing blog posts on it is a bit frustrating. I’ve only done it a few times, when I’m on vacation and away from my computer.

            Like

            • La La April 3, 2014 at 9:58 am #

              I like those! The battery life can be crappy though. I can’t believe you didn’t have one! Isn’t that weird? We live in such a different world. Who knew I’d be walking into work communicating basically over text with an American in Korea.

              Like

  14. Carrie Rubin April 3, 2014 at 10:17 am #

    Hope your head isn’t pounding too much this morning…

    Like

    • La La April 3, 2014 at 11:18 am #

      Ha. Feeling just lovely, thank you!

      Like

  15. Twindaddy April 3, 2014 at 11:33 am #

    13 was tres funny. That Sean’s a funny guy.

    Like

  16. rheath40 April 3, 2014 at 1:31 pm #

    I like balls. When they don’t smell like cheese.

    Like

    • La La April 4, 2014 at 9:37 am #

      Oh my god hahaha, what?

      Like

      • rheath40 April 4, 2014 at 10:40 pm #

        Hahahahaahahahhaha. Sometimes balls, they smell like cheese.Oh La La, I’m a nutbag.

        Love, Renee

        Like

  17. gingerfightback April 3, 2014 at 4:07 pm #

    How is the hangover?

    Like

    • La La April 4, 2014 at 9:38 am #

      It wasn’t too bad, honestly. I’m proud of my achievements.

      Like

  18. Pigeon Heart April 3, 2014 at 5:11 pm #

    You guys are so gross.

    Like

    • La La April 4, 2014 at 9:38 am #

      I know. It’s really bad.

      Like

  19. runningonsober April 4, 2014 at 9:38 am #

    Ah the good ole days…
    Blondie was always my drunk jukebox jam though. “Heart of Glass” lol.
    I love drinking through others, I get all the fun with none of the hangover. Thanks! :)

    Like

    • La La April 4, 2014 at 9:39 am #

      That sounds like a way better plan. Good on you! :)

      Like

      • runningonsober April 4, 2014 at 11:41 am #

        Eh didn’t have much of a choice really, but that’s okay. That’s what friends are for.
        And mozzarella. :)

        Like

  20. dliw canis April 22, 2014 at 11:22 am #

    Reblogged this on dliwcanis.

    Like

  21. dliw canis April 22, 2014 at 11:29 am #

    Laughing hard!

    Like

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