My weekend was relatively lame and I’m sorry to report that I have no stories about me falling down or kissing all the wrong men. So, here’s another list. Yaaaaaay.
Tomorrow I turn 28. Here are 27 things I learned this year:
1. Drinking alone isn’t so awful.
2. Toe hair is no joke.
3. Hula hooping is fun.
4. Everyone is going to die, so don’t take your loved ones for granted.
5. I need to follow my heart, no matter how stupid it makes me look.
6. If someone doesn’t treat me well, fuck them (“middle finger” sense, not “penis inside me” sense).
7. Not that I’m complaining, but most men on the internet are fucking freaks (okay, yes, I’m complaining).
8. Being alone isn’t half as scary as I thought.
9. Birthday sex is so overrated…probably. (Work with me here, I’m trying to make myself feel better.)
10. If I leave my car unlocked, a prostitute will have sex in it.
11. I can’t get high and listen to Nights in White Satin because it makes me feel like I am in a movie.
12. I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.
13. Despite what I was hoping, the majority of men really do think with their dicks.
14. Everyone gives advice about love and it’s all different. I appreciate the help, but I can’t always listen–I need to live my life!
15. One can lose a lot of weight by dancing every day.
16. Doing the robot on Skype is hilarious to the right naked man, and all the other naked men will not find it funny.
17. I’m romantic and that’s okay.
18. Laughing is SO MUCH FUN.
19. It is possible to live without cable.
20. The past is past and what happened, happened.
21. Living in love isn’t easy at first, but it changes thinking patterns and IS fabulous.
22. Never stop being grateful.
23. Love should feel good.
24. Tequila and grapefruit juice are delicious together.
25. Being married to me will be fun and super sexy (I hang out with me, I would know).
26. It’s okay to be a funny girl.
27. I still have no idea what I’m doing!