Yesterday at 2pm, instead of attending the work holiday party, my two guy friends and I escaped to the bar and drank three pitchers of beer. As they droned on and on about fantasy football, boobs, bacon and whatever else guys talk about, an important question popped suddenly into my mind:
“Do I have a party trick?”
I didn’t think I did. How disturbing. “No wonder I always have such a terrible time meeting people at parties,” I thought to myself, “I DON’T HAVE A PARTY TRICK.”
I asked my friend about it and he replied, “Um…eating Oreos? You’re good at eating a lot of Oreos. And hula hooping.”
While I liked the idea of showing off these talents, something told me that partygoers won’t be impressed by watching me eat myself into an Oreo coma and chances are the host of whatever party doesn’t have two hula hoops sitting out, just waiting for me to wow everyone with my magical hooping abilities.
I spent the rest of the afternoon kind of drunk wandering around in a confused state, thinking about this missing piece to the La La puzzle.
Finally, I decided to consult my expert, Chris De Voss.
Maybe he was right, surely it was my monkey face that he fell for in the first place. I went to Google Images and searched for “best monkey face” and found that compared to the results, I do actually make a decent monkey face.
Them (ridiculous):
Me (authentic):
So there you have it. Now I will easily make new friends and get any job I want when I move to Florida, all thanks to this unique talent!
What about you, do you have a party trick?
