I know, two posts in one day. Watch out, world!
I just want to say thank you all so much for the kind wedding messages and wishes you have sent. They are truly appreciated. I also feel the need to extend a sincere thank you for bitching at me about not writing as much. It helps to have a community of talented artists poking at me about it. It’s highly motivating and I feel so good after I do it (even after the simple, goofy posts).
Recently I’ve been feeling like there is nothing to share. However, after a few of your pokes and a few minutes to myself last night, what I failed to realize is that there are still things happening every day that normally I would share with the world, tons of them, but I’ve been too busy thinking too much about how weird it is that I’m getting married. Just the other day I had some drinks and got a piggy-back ride through the streets of Baltimore because my shoe broke and then I spilled a beer in my purse and ruined our friend’s mail and ate way too many potato wedges and a meatball sub and apparently in the middle of the night ordered a book called “Quit Your Job and Move to Key West.”
It was fun. I forgot that happened, though, because like I said, I’ve been too busy thinking too much about how weird it is that I’m actually getting married.
Like, a cute, funny guy wants to marry the real me. This is the same me who has accidentally tucked a dress into my underpants on multiple occasions and writes letters to inanimate objects to make myself laugh. The girl who thinks the perfect evening involves cigars, wine and pizza. Or hot dogs–I like those. The poet who instead wants to make people laugh because we need more laughter. The writer who can’t seem to finish writing a book. The vulnerable, overly apologetic failure who loses and has lost and lost and lost and yet remains passionately and relentlessly (and what some would call “hopelessly”) optimistic. The same me who dances alone, talks to the stars when looking for answers and puts on lip gloss when I’m nervous (which is very often). The restless me who longs for the sea and salty hair and to connect with nature (but not with butterflies, I’m scared of those guys) and needs to learn about other people and cultures because if I don’t I will go insane with boredom.
I’ve been a bit skeptical these days because even though I hoped, I didn’t think anyone genuinely would fall for the silly, curious, anxious, wild, flawed, open, honest me and honestly, I don’t know why anyone would. So I keep thinking too much about how weird it is.
I think love makes people who think too much think WAY too much, and I get caught up in it and I procrastinate and I don’t make time for writing–and now it seems that we’re back to the reason for this post in the first place.
So, thank you for your kindness and thank you for bitching at me. :D