pepper tooth

19 Oct

Recently, I went to Grano Pasta Bar with my friend Dee Dee. After a couple of glasses of wine, I had a substantial realization about friendship:

Your friends should only be considered “true friends” if they can tell you when you have pepper tooth.

Pepper tooth – 

When a food particle, usually a spice, can be seen in between the teeth or along the gum line (often between the central and lateral incisor).

It is a known fact that all people with teeth get pepper tooth. Thankfully, when it does happen, our true friends will inform us of the intrusive particle.

These same friends might do other small, important favors for you. For example, my friends understand what I mean when I flair my nostrils. Upon seeing the nostril signal, a friend will discreetly check if I have any bats in the cave (boogers). Thank you for doing that for me, true friends.

In conclusion, cherish your true friends. If we did not have them, we would all walk around looking absolutely ridiculous. I would probably have a unibrow, pepper tooth and my dress would be tucked into my underpants (which has happened to me twice and seriously, you would be simply amazed by how long the general public will let you go with your dress tucked into your fucking underpants).

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