a unique pep talk

29 May

My friend and I went to breakfast last week after a night out. By 9 am we had already exhausted ourselves talking about sex and men and we both agreed that we are confused by women who don’t enjoy getting freaky.

Then this happened:

Sara: Do you feel like you are “acting out” as a way of coping?

Me: I am not “acting out.” I feel stronger, really, and I just want to be normal.

Sara: You’re crazy and that’s okay.

Me: Well, a little bit, but not like “crazy crazy.”

Sara: The harsh reality is that you’re a crazy person. We both are. It’s time to accept and embrace this fact. I mean, you fart on cats, flash your boobs to strangers on Skype and you get angry at boyfriends when they are too tired to give you sex. Also, you believe a ghost tried to have sex with you and you backed it up with a reference to Baywatch.

Me: It was only one cat and only one stranger. I don’t like not having sex and I just think that when you get the chills it means you’re having sex with a ghost–I saw it on Baywatch.

Sara: Listen, there are plenty more reasons and I am just saying, you’re great, smart and beautiful and the more you accept your unique self, the better.

Me: I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my unique ship. I’ve got this.

Sara: Theeere she is.

28 Responses to “a unique pep talk”

  1. rheath40 May 29, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

    Yes honey you do have it. Embrace your “crazy”. It makes you, well, you. We all need to do this for ourselves….


    • La La May 29, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

      Ha, thank you, and yes, we all do!


  2. diirrty May 29, 2012 at 3:44 pm #

    If Sara knew me, like you know me, she’d want to flash herself to me on Skype too. You did tell her that right? 😉 hahaha


    • La La May 29, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

      hahaha oh lord.


  3. crubin May 29, 2012 at 3:57 pm #

    I can’t think of a less likely conversation I’d ever be involved in. Which is why I love reading your stuff. To me your “craziness” offers endless creative content and a very unique perspective that I love to enjoy by proxy. 🙂


    • La La May 29, 2012 at 4:13 pm #

      Thank you, that’s so sweet of you to say. xoxo


  4. Pigeon Heart May 29, 2012 at 4:04 pm #

    haha. that’s what friends are for…


    • La La May 29, 2012 at 4:14 pm #

      Right? The good ones tell it how it is!


  5. Maggie O'C May 29, 2012 at 4:23 pm #

    Oooo La La….
    I’m telling you 20 years that is all that separates us!!! I’ve started a new blog that I can write in that won’t destroy my children’s image of their mother, though they already think I’m a bit dodgy. You are crazy and I love it. Embrace the good crazy and the bad crazy….you have plenty of time to be sane…. although never completely sane I hope.


    • La La May 29, 2012 at 4:42 pm #

      Thank you. New blog? I want in.


  6. Elliot May 29, 2012 at 4:54 pm #

    A bit of crazy and knowing about it is no bad thing. It is when you’re a bit crazy but think you’re completely normal, then you have a problem. A problem you don’t know about…


    • La La May 29, 2012 at 7:01 pm #

      That is so true. Some in my neighborhood are perfect examples!


  7. Sheena May 29, 2012 at 5:03 pm #

    Baywatch is the definitive source of knowledge anyone knows this. Also, cats deserve farts, they shit in our houses.


    • La La May 29, 2012 at 7:08 pm #

      Exactly. Not all that crazy, right? Thanks for backing me up.


  8. jennigreenmiller May 29, 2012 at 6:01 pm #

    “If you obey all the rules… you miss all the fun.” Audrey Hepburn.
    Here’s to crazy!


    • La La May 29, 2012 at 7:02 pm #

      Very true, thanks! 😉


  9. Madame Weebles May 29, 2012 at 7:13 pm #

    None of this makes you crazy at all. And any sensible woman gets crabby when her man doesn’t put out.

    Embrace all of the things you are because they’re groovy, and you’re groovy.


    • La La May 29, 2012 at 9:40 pm #

      hahaha, thank you, I think you’re pretty groovy, too!


  10. Simon May 29, 2012 at 8:26 pm #

    I know you weren’t trying to make this a cliff hanger but I might lose sleep wondering what you had for breakfast and if the ghost was hot.


    • La La May 29, 2012 at 9:05 pm #

      That is crazy talk, Simon–I could only feel the ghost, just like in Baywatch. For breakfast I had oatmeal with strawberries and bluebrrries. Yum.


  11. chrisdevoss May 29, 2012 at 11:26 pm #

    Stripes or polka dots?


    • La La May 30, 2012 at 1:31 am #

      heffalumps and woozles?


  12. gingerfightback May 30, 2012 at 6:19 am #

    Ghosts and Baywatch! A scary combination.


  13. Kourtney Heintz May 30, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

    I ❤ La La.


  14. The Hook May 31, 2012 at 1:50 pm #

    I feel more empowered already!


  15. bowzerscastle June 1, 2012 at 12:49 pm #

    hahahahahaha omg i miss you!


  16. kenthinksaloud June 5, 2012 at 7:55 am #

    Loved this and laughed out loud! I must have sex with ghosts regularly…what were you doing being on skype with a stranger anyway?…


    • La La June 5, 2012 at 2:03 pm #

      You know, just being innocent and talking about writing…..


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