Lauren’s Less Boring Lesson

12 Oct

This week I learned that I, just like you, should be my own creative self. Lauren + La La = me, and I’m down with that. Thanks for playing along! Oh, and I found out just how much you people love couscous and graveyards (weirdos).

I also learned a lot about delivery and word choice. Here’s an stretch of an example from this morning that has nothing to do with blogging:

I was on the phone with my gentleman friend and we were discussing how I have nothing boring to say in today’s post. I didn’t have anything exciting to say either. When we hung up, I got out of my car and began my trek into work from the parking garage where they finally gave me a space last year (it only took three years).

Having a spot is a huge upgrade from when I to had to park in a west Baltimore neighborhood. I wore my running shoes every day and ran because it isn’t exactly the nicest neighborhood in town. A friend of mine was robbed by a bunch of girls when he parked there.

Anyway, I was walking in this morning and there was a man in the alley between the parking garage and my building. I have seen him creepily lurking around before.

As I walked by I heard him say, “Girl, you look like you got money.”

“Joke’s on him,” I thought, “I’m broke.”

And then he began following me, so I walked faster.

“WAIT! Come here!” he yelled at me. I walked even faster.

He kept following. I got out my mace just in case (and despite being frightened, I was a poet and didn’t know it). He followed me up to the front door of the building and he said,

“I meant to say you look like a million dollars and that ass is a dime-piece.”

“Oh. Thank you!” I replied, and joyfully bounded into the building.


Just like that, the atmosphere changed from “rob and rape” to “early morning compliment of a gal’s dime-piece.”Β Perhaps we should keep our own delivery and word choice in mind when we post and give feedback. It sounds obvious, but it’s worth considering. Also, don’t follow anyone down an alley. That’s just dumb. You can follow my blog, though, that’s fine.

I will be out this coming week for business. I will try to comment when I can. Fun things are happening soon. See you next Monday!



30 Responses to “Lauren’s Less Boring Lesson”

  1. Carrie Rubin October 12, 2012 at 1:37 pm #

    Something tells me I should never use the phrase ‘dime-piece.’ That’s a new one for me. Thanks for adding to my education. I need all the help I can get…


    • pivoine68 October 13, 2012 at 11:33 am #

      Me too! I’ve never heard that! Thanks La La.



  2. Sword-chinned bitch October 12, 2012 at 1:48 pm #

    Oh Jesus! My breathing actually quickened while reading about that man following you. Shit I thought you were mugged. It was very upsetting — whew — glad he was just a simple sleaze-bucket! I hope your business trip goes well. See you latah sweet potato!


    • La La October 12, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

      Haha, simple slime ball, that’s all!


  3. Love and Lunchmeat October 12, 2012 at 3:14 pm #

    I think I would have arrived at work, sat down in my chair, and promptly had a heart attack. Or maybe an early morning Tequila.

    Glad he really just wanted to compliment you on your ass.


    • La La October 12, 2012 at 3:21 pm #

      Ooooooh early morning tequila and grapefruit juice sounds loverly!


  4. T. W. Dittmer October 12, 2012 at 3:28 pm #

    I’m such a sucker for good poetry. You’ll have to forgive him for screwing up his lines, though. I’m sure he was awestruck.


    • La La October 12, 2012 at 3:38 pm #

      Hahaha thank you. He tried. I saw that you are a poet, so I know you’re now jealous of my skills.


  5. Lori DiNardi October 12, 2012 at 3:30 pm #

    Word choice … sometimes it’s difficult because we can’t see facial expressions and tone of voice when reading blogs and/or comments. Yikes, girl, that scared me too. I almost got my pepper spray out to help you through the screen. Glad it turned out okay, but if he’s lurking around again, stay away (and this time I rhymed πŸ˜‰ ).


    • La La October 12, 2012 at 3:39 pm #

      Very true, Lori. I appreciate the backup!


  6. RFL October 12, 2012 at 3:38 pm #

    If I had a dime for every time some slimeball made me think he was mugging me, but actually wanted to compliment my ass, I would have zero dimes. I’m glad this was a compliment and not a robbery. Great post!


    • La La October 12, 2012 at 3:40 pm #

      Thanks lady friend! There’s still time for this to happen, don’t be discouraged.


  7. becca3416 October 12, 2012 at 4:02 pm #

    See, I had the opposite problem. This dude in the bar the other night told me I looked to die for. Of course I smiled flirtatiously and said thank you. He then said, “No, you misunderstood me, I said you are GOING to die”. I like your version better.


    • La La October 12, 2012 at 4:22 pm #

      Perhaps he was just stating a fact. I hope.


      • becca3416 October 12, 2012 at 4:24 pm #

        You and I both. Don’t worry though because I made up that whole story.


  8. mikeakin1 October 12, 2012 at 4:37 pm #

    I’m learning learning. Dime piece πŸ™‚ that’s a new one to me.


  9. stuffitellmysister October 12, 2012 at 6:57 pm #

    A new one to me, too! But still…..very creepy! So congrats AND be safe ! πŸ™‚


    • La La October 13, 2012 at 7:38 am #

      Thank you darlin!


      • stuffitellmysister October 13, 2012 at 11:00 am #



  10. Madame Weebles October 12, 2012 at 8:22 pm #

    I really am going to have to see a photo of your ass.


    • La La October 13, 2012 at 7:37 am #

      It’s on it’s way! ::clicks send::


  11. Christopher De Voss October 12, 2012 at 11:37 pm #

    I think it doesn’t matter if it’s La La or Lauren…they both seem to deliver.


    • La La October 13, 2012 at 7:40 am #



  12. kelsgonebush October 13, 2012 at 1:56 am #

    Glad you didn’t get abducted , I would really miss your blog :p
    On a more serious note , the written word can be taken out of context at the best of times .. I just write the way I speak now so it may not be grammatically correct but its the best way I can get my story across even if I do sound like a total bogan πŸ˜‰ ( you may have to look that one up on the urban dictionary , apparently its not a well known term overseas …. ) Xx Kel


    • La La October 13, 2012 at 7:39 am #

      Thanks my dear. On my way to urban dictionary…


  13. kenthinksaloud October 13, 2012 at 2:59 am #

    I’m with Madame Weebles! In seriousness I’m glad this story had the happy ending and not the really crappy one.


    • La La October 13, 2012 at 7:37 am #

      Aww thanks! You do care!


  14. Carr Party of Five October 13, 2012 at 11:43 am #

    Dear La La,
    your DIMEPIECE?
    And here I thought I was down with the kids.
    I am positively ancient.
    Love, Lis


  15. The Hook October 21, 2012 at 8:58 am #

    β€œI meant to say you look like a million dollars and that ass is a dime-piece.”
    Who speaks like that? To strangers?


  16. ladymiryaa October 31, 2012 at 1:08 am #

    Pretty sure I am using that line on girls this weekend…think it will work?


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