3 Jan

Here is where I guess it actually ends.

I never believed in anything until about seven months ago. I mean, I had hoped for things, but never truly believed in anything. Then someone I knew dearly and at one point loved romantically, died.

It rained buckets on the day of his funeral. I do not mean to be disrespectful when I say that the symbolism of this downpour was โ€œappropriate,โ€ but it was like we were in a movie or something. As we stood in the cemetery, the rain drenching us, I realized what many of us know but usually take for granted–life is short. Life is so short, we ought to be truly happy.

It is not that I was completely unhappy, but more that I was just existing. You may know this feeling. So, I took a chance and began believing in happiness. Over the weeks that followed, little things started happening, good things, so I continued to believe.

Soon I saw that the sparks of happiness were actually created by me and I realized that I was developing a new love for myself, too.

This week I faced a great difficulty and during this time it hit me that these two things, love for myself and happiness, will get me through anything.

So, here is where it ends. Fear, I mean. I am not afraid to continue down this path of happiness. I am not afraid to be in love. I am not afraidโ€ฆwhat a wonderful feeling.

If you have not yet achieved this, you should take a chance and let the rain wash away fear for the sake of your own happiness, too.

78 Responses to “”

  1. jayne at 4:55 pm #

    beautiful Lala

    Like

  2. Rincewind at 4:58 pm #

    So inspiring, embrace life and enjoy…

    Like

  3. The Bumble Files at 5:01 pm #

    I love it, La La. I’m soooo happy for you. Life IS short. Enjoy it. You deserve happiness!

    Like

  4. Kylie at 5:04 pm #

    Death is a good teacher.

    Like

    • La La at 6:56 pm #

      It really is, and it’s unfortunate that some of only get that jolt after death.

      Like

      • Kylie at 7:00 pm #

        Luckily, I’ve had lots of reminders (dark humor there).

        I just wrote about a similar experience today. This isn’t shameless self-promotion; it’s just odd that we wrote about friends dying on the same day.

        Like

      • Kylie at 7:00 pm #

        Also, my daughter is reading over my shoulder and has decided to call you “La La Lilac.”

        Like

        • La La at 7:07 pm #

          Aw that’s very sweet, I like that name. ๐Ÿ™‚

          Like

  5. Carrie Rubin at 5:04 pm #

    We spend far too much time merely existing. Your new-found mantra makes for good advice.

    Like

    • La La at 5:11 pm #

      Thank you, Carrie. Doing my best here to believe in it with all my heart.

      Like

  6. TJLubrano at 5:08 pm #

    You said it so beautifully La La and you’re so right. Life is too short to linger around dark clouds and fear.

    Always bring your own sunshine ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • La La at 6:57 pm #

      Your comment brought tears to my eyes. I appreciate you stopping by.

      Like

      • TJLubrano at 7:11 pm #

        Hugs to you!! I sat in the rain a while back (literally and metaphorically speaking) and your post really hit home. I’ve a big post waiting regarding my own happiness soon.

        Like

        • La La at 7:13 pm #

          I look forward to reading it!

          Like

  7. becca3416 at 5:26 pm #

    It is a hard thing to achieve La La. I am glad you have. You don’t NEED anyone or anything to perpetuate happiness. It is in your own hands.

    Like

    • La La at 6:57 pm #

      I’ve got this…whether I realize right now or not!

      Like

  8. T. W. Dittmer at 5:39 pm #

    Very well done. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Go ahead. Be happy.

    Like

    • La La at 5:51 pm #

      Thank you for sharing the post ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  9. davidhardingblogs at 5:41 pm #

    So proud of you. And you are brave for posting such personal stuff. Thank you for making me happy today.

    Like

  10. Bob at 5:46 pm #

    Truly awesome post LaLa, confidence is contagious in a good way. Much better than needing a strong course of antibiotics! Proud of you!

    Like

    • La La at 5:57 pm #

      Happy to spread the love.

      Like

  11. Madame Weebles at 5:47 pm #

    You are the best. THE BEST. And you’re going to be okay. More than okay, in fact. Because you know what? You already are.

    Like

    • La La at 5:54 pm #

      Thank you for inspiring me! You rock.

      Like

  12. Maggie O'C at 6:05 pm #

    Go get ’em girlie! You have pinpointed what was changing your life and it was you all along. Proud of you sweetie. xoxox

    Like

    • La La at 6:59 pm #

      Wasn’t easy, thank you for all your words!

      Like

      • Maggie O'C at 7:29 pm #

        Nothing worth having is come by easily.
        xo

        Like

  13. Le Clown at 6:07 pm #

    La La,
    It takes courage to choose a pink background for a blog. You are an inspiration.
    Le Clown

    Like

    • La La at 7:04 pm #

      Haha, thanks Eric. I try when I can.

      Like

  14. Jen and Tonic at 6:11 pm #

    I love this! I am working on my New Year’s Resolutions post (ugh, I’m late, I know) and the theme of it is very similar to this. I’ll make sure to link to this post.

    Here’s wishing you lots of love and happiness in the future ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • twindaddy at 6:25 pm #

      Jen, you slouch. You may as well not even post it now.

      Like

      • Jen and Tonic at 6:32 pm #

        Thanks for the encouragement. ASSHAT.

        Like

        • twindaddy at 6:35 pm #

          I have a feeling you just broke one of your resolutions. You’re welcome. You are now free for the rest of the year.

          Like

    • La La at 7:05 pm #

      Awesome! I wish you the same!! (and you aren’t a slouch haha)

      Like

  15. calahan at 6:13 pm #

    Thanks for sharing this, La La. It’s inspiring to read and heartwarming to know that you, someone whom I genuinely like, are experiencing this awareness.

    Like

  16. Lori DiNardi at 6:18 pm #

    Miss La La, thank you for sharing this. I think most of us need to be reminded this at times. I know I do. Good luck with whatever endeavor has you diving into happiness, unafraid. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Like

    • La La at 6:54 pm #

      Aw Lori thanks, I hope you had a wonderful holiday!

      Like

  17. twindaddy at 6:27 pm #

    La La, I’m sorry for your loss, but I’m glad that through it you found your path to happiness. Anything is bearable and happiness is always achievable with the right outlook. It appears that you now have it.

    Like

    • La La at 6:54 pm #

      Thanks, this means a lot to me. Best to you!

      Like

  18. Salman Alvi at 6:33 pm #

    A very happy and inspiring post!

    Like

  19. Brother Jon at 6:49 pm #

    Realizations like this are truly something special. It’s so nice to see post like this one…and especially this one. The feelings you’ve described are wonderful and a lot easier to come by than most people think. Thank you for being so inspiring. Keep it up!!

    Like

    • La La at 7:07 pm #

      Thanks for your help and inspiration, I am truly appreciative!

      Like

  20. Viciously Sweet at 6:59 pm #

    What a fabulous post my dearest La La!
    I’m sorry for your loss, but I am so in awe of how you found inspiration in it. Continue on being wonderful! And have the happiest year ever!

    Like

    • La La at 7:08 pm #

      Lauren, you’re a doll. Best wishes to you this year as well!

      Like

  21. Love and Lunchmeat at 7:18 pm #

    This is beautiful La La. And life is too short to allow ourselves to wallow in misery. Hope 2013 brings nothing but good things for you!

    Like

    • La La at 7:22 pm #

      Agreed. the same to you!!!

      Like

  22. JWo at 7:18 pm #

    Donโ€™t be afraid La La… I know you are a lot stronger than you think.

    You will have love and happiness. It may not happen when you want it to happen, but it will happen. Have faith and keep smiling.

    Hang in there La La…

    Like

    • La La at 7:22 pm #

      J Wo, you are a help and inspiration. And kinda gross, but I’ll take it. ;-P

      Like

      • JWo at 8:22 pm #

        Thanks… wait, Iโ€™m gross?? haha… Well you DID see my hair all kicked up, so I guess Iโ€™ll give you that.

        Like

  23. paulina at 7:33 pm #

    bella. thanks for sharing the love!!! god bless your sweet friend. i hope there was a rainbow nearby. smiles.

    Like

  24. SocietyRed at 8:42 pm #

    La La,
    This post hit me.
    I know. I’ve been here.
    You are amazing and inspiring.
    Thank you for the reminder.
    Red

    Like

  25. stuffitellmysister at 8:56 pm #

    โ™ฅโ™ฅโ™ฅ

    Like

  26. lifeofmack at 12:03 am #

    This is truly beautiful and insightful. I too have had the feeling of just existing. I a glad to hear that you have learned to create your own happiness. Sad how you got there but Yayy for you! ๐Ÿ™‚ love your blog

    Like

    • La La at 7:21 am #

      Thank you for this sweet comment! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  27. mmkng at 2:34 am #

    La La,
    It’s somehow weird how people get to see things the way they are only naturally supposed to be only after losing someone dear. It took me the last 5 years and both parents dead before their 50s to realise that and I still think it was worth it.
    mmkng

    Like

    • La La at 7:21 am #

      Wow I am so sorry that happened. The new you has a new perspective, and while some days it super sucks, others it was worth the heartache. Xoxo

      Like

      • mmkng at 1:30 pm #

        La La,
        I couldn’t agree more. And it gets better in time.
        mmkng

        Like

  28. Maddie Cochere at 2:42 am #

    I am so happy to read this tonight, Lauren. You deserve this happiness. You deserve it. And I believe this is going to end very well – and with a new beginning. xoxoxoxoxo

    Like

    • La La at 7:19 am #

      Maddie, I’m hoping with every little fibre of my being!!! Thanks for your support.

      Like

  29. vyvacious at 3:46 am #

    What a powerful post. I was actually feeling the same kind of realizations as you very recently so this post is particularly poignant for me. I’m sorry for your loss.

    Like

  30. thelaundrywench at 7:25 am #

    Whew. Your opening sentence made me nervous. While we don’t know one another, it’s clear you deserve to be happy. I’m glad for you.

    Like

    • La La at 7:17 am #

      That’s what I was going for ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Like

  31. gingerfightback at 10:13 am #

    Well said – get livin!- watched the last series of The Wire – Omar is dead! – do you really, really live there? Happy New Year

    Like

    • La La at 11:10 am #

      Right? I live here. I totally do.

      Like

  32. The Hook at 7:20 pm #

    The future is yours, gorgeous! Enjoy!

    Like

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