If I Were A Linguist

14 Apr

This morning in the shower I wrote a poem about being a linguist. I am not a linguist, but this is what would happen if I were one.

If I were a linguist
who uses her tongue freely,
I would be cunning and write a poem about
driving a lexis
and wearing a diphthong.

There’d be something in there about synnning
and taxes and that’s why
I’d be awkward and have no friends
if I were a linguist,

so I wouldn’t be much different from who I am now,
if I were a linguist.



33 Responses to “If I Were A Linguist”

  1. Carrie Rubin April 14, 2013 at 11:49 am #

    Linguist or not, you taught me a new word: diphthong. And go figure, it has nothing to do with wearing a thong.


    • La La April 14, 2013 at 11:57 am #

      I am thinking about making a tie-dye thong business now and I’ll call it Diphthong. Enjoy your new word!


      • Ausaf Abidi April 14, 2013 at 12:30 pm #

        Me too. Dipthong was a new word…. and so is monothong.
        Witty post…… as usual.
        … and consider me as a photographer when you start ur tie & dye venture. πŸ™‚
        Stay blessed!


        • La La April 14, 2013 at 12:38 pm #

          Haha, you’re in!!!!!


  2. Nagzilla April 14, 2013 at 12:24 pm #

    I love that you said you’d be a cunning linguist. LOL!


    • La La April 14, 2013 at 2:57 pm #

      Had to sneak it in despite the common usage of it! πŸ˜‰


  3. The Bumble Files April 14, 2013 at 1:03 pm #

    La La, you should make it a regular practice to write poems in the shower!


    • La La April 14, 2013 at 3:05 pm #

      Shower Poetry — A Collection by Lauren Moscato.


  4. contemplatinglove April 14, 2013 at 1:33 pm #

    nice one! I studied linguistics…in depth. not a fun thing to do, trust me πŸ˜€


    • La La April 14, 2013 at 2:15 pm #

      I took linguistics 101 “for fun” when I was in college and I can’t imagine taking it further. Well done!


  5. Maddie Cochere April 14, 2013 at 3:31 pm #

    Shower poetry is definitely for you, La La! In your lexis, you could wear a blouse, or a flower, or just a TOWEL, but don’t frown if a clown jumps in with a toy.


  6. Anonymous April 14, 2013 at 4:45 pm #

    That’s a shower well spent! I’m usually sitting there staring at the tiles.


  7. Not Quite Alice April 14, 2013 at 7:06 pm #

    Hehe. Love it hun. Showers are the bestest places to come up with things. Well there and in my dreams.


  8. David Stewart April 14, 2013 at 8:50 pm #

    You are brilliant. Just gotta say. As someone who loves linguistics, I found this particularly great. I don’t think I’d have the confidence to wear a diphthong in public though. πŸ™‚


  9. gingerfightback April 15, 2013 at 2:43 am #

    Diphthong is a lovely word! Cedilla to! Great word play


    • La La April 15, 2013 at 10:27 am #

      I didn’t know that thing was called a cedilla! Love it.


      • gingerfightback April 15, 2013 at 10:59 am #

        Umlau springs to mind as well – I think it lurks over letters too.


        • La La April 15, 2013 at 11:04 am #

          Umlaut is a personal favorite of mine. I love language and the history of the English language, especially.


          • gingerfightback April 15, 2013 at 11:06 am #

            Agreed – just a shame I can’t spell it very well!


  10. rheath40 April 15, 2013 at 8:01 am #

    I’ve nominated you for an award honey. Please accept it. No pressure though. Kisses.



  11. Andrew April 15, 2013 at 10:19 am #

    This was genius, and I think you taught all of us a new word. Thank you for this on Monday morning.


    • La La April 15, 2013 at 10:26 am #

      Honestly, I think everything you write is both informative and also a true gift from the comedy gods.


  12. Nowan Zen April 18, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

    The Diphthong is still pinging about in my mind, but I like your description of your dream job.


    • La La April 18, 2013 at 6:40 pm #

      Yeah? Your dream job too?


      • Nowan Zen April 18, 2013 at 7:48 pm #

        1. I happen to like tiedye.
        2. My dream job is people watching.
        3. Thongs are fanny-flossers but I don’t mind some who wear them. I am not a wearer though.


        • La La April 22, 2013 at 10:35 am #

          Fanny flossers! I am going to call it that now just because.


          • Nowan Zen April 22, 2013 at 10:41 am #

            Hooray, we have a new phrase to phase. πŸ™‚


  13. iamforchange April 20, 2013 at 9:20 pm #

    http://iamforchange.wordpress.com/awards-page-and-nominations-thank-you-i-am-so-honored-and-grateful/ I wanted to share with you and say thank you!


  14. Sandee May 7, 2013 at 8:36 am #

    I like that you wouldn’t be much different from who you are now πŸ™‚


  15. Stuck May 19, 2013 at 3:16 am #



  16. WB July 5, 2013 at 9:35 pm #

    Very good.



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