Lesson #12 – We Don’t Know What The Hell We’re Doing

7 Sep

Let’s just go ahead and admit that tons of us have no friggin’ clue what we’re doing and the idea that some clear path exists  is just silly. It’s okay to hope, and it’s great to expect great things, but can we agree that most of us are winging it? And I don’t care what Mary and Joseph over on Facebook are trying to make you believe because they, too, have no idea what they’re doing (although they may be better at portraying themselves as amazingness and perfection).

From what I’ve noticed, people are constantly questioning kids/dogs/houses/careers/husbands/wives/identities/sexual orientations and where to go for certain things or who to ask about this or that and what to do when blah blah blee bloo blah. This is a wonderful thing, though, isn’t it? As it turns out, we’re all human for the most part and the answers aren’t always the same for all of us. What a relief.

And maybe some people don’t want you to know that. Maybe some people forgot about how they got to where they are and they will receive a reminder sooner or later. Regardless, we’re humans and new experiences rarely are executed with finesse and precision and that’s life.

Be grateful for your experiences–yup. Pay attention to opportunities and act on them–absolutely. Don’t be a jackass–duh. But if at some point or another you fail or have no idea what’s happening, just understand that it doesn’t mean you’re doomed. I know this because I’ve never known what the hell is going on…if that makes any sense. I still don’t know what I’m doing, and I suspect this will continue throughout life in one way or another. Life would be boring otherwise.

Personally, this has been one of my favorite, strangest lessons in life. It’s the reason I write. I once broke up with a guy during a major snowstorm, watched the Screech from Saved By The Bell porn, and then fell down an icy hill with a handle of vodka after calling a group of children a bunch of little shits. Yeah…I was lost and had no idea what I was doing. I once attended a wedding alone the day after my last boyfriend died and I managed to choke on steak, throw up AND accidentally moon a group of people when the wind blew up my dress….not exactly how I hoped to handle death.

But there is no clear path, is there?

This is life, people, and it’s stupid-beautiful, and it’s totally fine that we have no idea what the hell we’re doing.

Whew, that felt good.

48 Responses to “Lesson #12 – We Don’t Know What The Hell We’re Doing”

  1. Jayne September 7, 2014 at 10:20 pm #

    I THINK I know what I’m doing until I realize I’m a fool for ever thinking I did.


    • La La September 7, 2014 at 10:21 pm #

      Same. SING IT!


      • Jayne September 7, 2014 at 10:38 pm #

        Oh yes because I can sing like a pro…that is until someone says “what are you doing?” I’m getting ear plugs!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ruby Tuesday September 7, 2014 at 10:37 pm #

    Okay. This is definitely my new favorite.

    Liked by 2 people

    • La La September 7, 2014 at 10:40 pm #

      😀 yay!


  3. Bob September 7, 2014 at 10:41 pm #

    In glad you realised that all of us cool kids are flying by the seat of our pants. Really what fun would life be if we knew how to do everything or how things would turn out.

    Because really can we ever have too much saved by the bell porn? Mmm bad example… But that’s the point I reckon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La September 7, 2014 at 10:50 pm #

      There is enough Saved By The Bell Porn. Trust me. And yeah…I’m glad I figured it out too–because it would all be pretty lame otherwise. Have a great night!


  4. El Guapo September 7, 2014 at 10:56 pm #

    For me, not knowing what I’m doing is more a fact than a lesson…

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La September 7, 2014 at 10:57 pm #

      Well you had to figure out it was a fact at some point. After a few experiments, I presume? A published paper? 😀


  5. Sandee September 8, 2014 at 3:24 am #

    I think you’ve just confirmed the beautiful reality — there is synchronicity here — I’ve been on the gist of your idea, or the theme — for the better part of the day. I painted a darker picture but my conclusion was that I would be better off enjoying the moments, being where I am rather than trying to achieve some higher glory, something that society can look at and objectify. I don’t need to be a star, or “perfect,” to get praise for my insecurities. I enjoyed my time with friends yesterday, and had a truth-searching conversation with another friend that turned out to be very enlightening. These are my gifts today. Yay! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.


    • La La September 8, 2014 at 7:59 am #

      That is a beautiful way to put it and you’re right, even though I didn’t realize this is something I was trying to say. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day, Sandee!


  6. Trent Lewin September 8, 2014 at 4:44 am #

    I’m so with you there. I think knowing what is going on is over-rated, and likely over-reported. I figure we have to embrace what we have going for us – the unpredictability and instability of life, and everything that’s great about that.


    • La La September 8, 2014 at 7:46 am #

      Yes, we really must embrace it. Fighting it certainly won’t help!


      • Trent Lewin September 8, 2014 at 7:48 am #

        I think one night in a drunken stupor, I carved my personal catchphrase into a pile of snow using a half bottle of Molson Canadian (the last such beer I ever drank): sometimes you just have to embrace your own inner madness.

        And off I went. On which note, another week of work!


        • La La September 8, 2014 at 7:51 am #

          You and me both. Regarding work. Not Molson… I’ve also visited that place. Have a great day!!


  7. Carrie Rubin September 8, 2014 at 7:13 am #

    I suspect that as soon as we know what we’re doing, life gets dull.


    • La La September 8, 2014 at 7:50 am #

      Why is that? Sometimes it seems like we long to know what we are doing.


      • Carrie Rubin September 8, 2014 at 7:57 am #

        Maybe that’s what keeps us motivated to get up each day–to find out what we’re doing.


        • La La September 8, 2014 at 8:00 am #

          I’ll take it (I say as I’m wobbling around in the kitchen waiting for the coffee).


  8. rheath40 September 8, 2014 at 8:33 am #

    La La,

    You made me tear up a little this morning. No, it wasn’t about mooning everyone when the wind blew up your dress. It was most definitely the second to last line you wrote. It IS stupid beautiful. It IS a messy thing, this life. I’m 46 and I’m a mess too. We learn more as we grow older, but don’t let anyone tell you it gets easier. It doesn’t. Life just ‘is’. Hopefully you’ll learn, change, and grow. That’s about all you can do.

    I love you my darling girl. Thank you for this post. You always seem to know what to say to make me feel better.

    Love, Renee


    • La La September 8, 2014 at 7:11 pm #

      Aww such a thoughtful comment. Thank you for the smile. Glad you got one as well and just remember that we really are all in this together.


      • rheath40 September 9, 2014 at 12:46 pm #

        Yes darling, we really are in this together.


  9. Twindaddy September 8, 2014 at 8:38 am #

    I never know what’s going on, either. I kinda like it that way.


    • La La September 8, 2014 at 7:09 pm #

      It can be nice, yes.


  10. Lori D September 8, 2014 at 8:40 am #

    After dealing with anxiety and even posting a blog about it, this was just right for me to read. Thanks for reminding me it’s all okay not to know what the hell I’m doing. 🙂


  11. G-LO September 8, 2014 at 11:39 am #

    Whew! I thought I was the only one that makes it up as they go along. What a relief that I’m not alone in the improvising life category.

    Great post!




    • La La September 8, 2014 at 11:54 am #

      Thank you! You’re definitely not alone! 😉


  12. Kathleen September 8, 2014 at 2:29 pm #

    For what it’s worth, age doesn’t help. You will NEVER know what the hell you’re doing, so it’s good that you are getting comfy with that concept. — This post reminded me of a sentence I saw recently, something like, “If humans are the smartest animals, then why are are we the only animals that don’t know what we should EAT?” — It made me think . . . .


    • La La September 8, 2014 at 7:09 pm #

      Hahaha good point. And thank you, there is something comforting about knowing it doesn’t change with age!


  13. ddupre315 September 8, 2014 at 6:13 pm #

    Yep, I think it’s more about how you handle things and reactions when they do happen. Hey you never know, you mooning people that day may have given one person the smile they needed to make it to the next day. Your ass may have saved a life!

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La September 8, 2014 at 7:08 pm #

      Hahaha I just laughed aloud in public while reading this. And yes! Well said! This is my favorite comment today. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  14. scorchtheearth2 September 8, 2014 at 6:56 pm #

    I’m 33, and I only realized a couple of years ago that I have no clue as to what the hell I’m doing. Much like you, I also write to cope with this realization. I also secretly hope that all this writing will culminate in something worthwhile and possibly profitable, but that might just be wishful thinking on my part. Still, thanks for taking the time out to write this. Most if not all of us know that we don’t have a fucking clue; we’re just too chicken-shit to admit it though.


    • La La September 8, 2014 at 7:05 pm #

      I’m with you regarding that wishful thinking! Good luck to you and thanks for admitting it with me.


      • scorchtheearth2 September 8, 2014 at 7:11 pm #

        Anytime. Your writing really resonates with me, and this blog post in particular. Thanks for keeping up the good work.


  15. peachyteachy September 8, 2014 at 8:06 pm #

    Lesson EVERYTHING, more like it. I love this so very much. What a beautiful mess we are. Thanks.


    • La La September 8, 2014 at 8:09 pm #

      Thanks, teach! 😀


  16. vastlycurious.com September 8, 2014 at 8:26 pm #

    I loved this and you know what? You are soooooo right!


    • La La September 8, 2014 at 8:35 pm #

      Although you might not know what you’re talking about, either. 😉


      • vastlycurious.com September 8, 2014 at 8:36 pm #

        VERY TRUE !!!!!! Evil grin : )~~~~


  17. herdthinner September 8, 2014 at 10:53 pm #

    Thank you SO much for reminding me that Dustin Diamond did porn. SO much.

    There’s an amusing saying: “Man plans; God laughs.” I didn’t mean to make that a tl;dr version of your post (which I did read, I swear!). 😀

    I buy lottery tickets twice a week. The “big bucks” kind, not the scratch offs that get you $1k, tops. And that about sums up my retirement plan. “Plan.” BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!


    • La La September 9, 2014 at 7:29 am #

      The DD definitely did that, did you see it? My favorite part was the Jaws shark in the bathtub part. And I like your retirement plan hahaha.


  18. pastramibasket September 9, 2014 at 12:37 am #

    I constantly don’t know what I’m doing, ever but it is half the excitement of life. Oh, and the whole not be a jackass thing? Didn’t realize that was a thing not to do. Better start keeping that in mind.


    • La La September 9, 2014 at 7:27 am #

      Just keep it in your back pocket, you know?


  19. gingerfightback September 9, 2014 at 4:01 am #

    Always dangerous to know what you are doing……


    • La La September 9, 2014 at 7:30 am #



  20. Amy Reese September 9, 2014 at 12:39 pm #

    The little scenes you paint are hilarious! It’s good to laugh always. I think that is one of your lessons, isn’t? I’ll admit the older I get, the more clueless I am and the less answers I have.


  21. theclocktowersunset September 27, 2014 at 11:30 am #

    Ain’t that the damn truth!!! I’ve figured out that mostly, if you act like you know what you’re doing, pretty much everybody else will just fall inline behind you and agree. I think that just might be how politicians get their start. Probably the whole of politics and religion to begin with. Wow, that was some sort of spastic momentary epiphany. I think my head hurts now.


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