Lesson #19 – Understanding Dudes

30 Sep

Women are constantly trying to crack the code that is men. Sometimes I think we drive ourselves crazy wondering why men do the things they do, say the things they say, smell the way they smell and so on. It gets worse once you’ve been dumped a couple of times, and the conclusion often made with other friends who were dumped a couple of times is that “men are idiots.” Actually, some men even give that as an answer.

In my mid-twenties, I chose a novel approach to tackle this issue because I refused to accept “men are idiots” as an answer. It wasn’t an easy process, and if you consider doing the same, I’m warning you now that you may face many perils on your journey.

The groundbreaking, controversial method of which I speak? I talked. To men. And asked questions. Doing this requires an open mind, patience, the ability to hear what they have to say and most importantly, a sense of humor.

What I found was that I am capable of communicating with men, like some kind of man whisperer or something. In short, I learned they are not all the same, and the majority were not afraid of feelings.

I also learned to think more like a man and that having the male perspective is valuable for plenty of reasons (dealing with a male boss, for example). The opportunity to talk to men helped me understand them better and as an unexpected bonus, it taught me more about who I am as a woman. Thanks, dudes!

25 Responses to “Lesson #19 – Understanding Dudes”

  1. Jnana Hodson September 30, 2014 at 3:41 pm #

    Here I was hoping you’d tell us what our “code” is. Ah, shucks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La September 30, 2014 at 3:45 pm #

      Studies have not yet been completed! 😉


  2. Twindaddy September 30, 2014 at 3:52 pm #

    The man whisperer??? Ohhhhhhhhh…what am I thinking right now?


    • La La September 30, 2014 at 4:27 pm #

      Probably something about Star Wars.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Twindaddy September 30, 2014 at 5:36 pm #

        Damn…you got me.


        • La La September 30, 2014 at 5:38 pm #



  3. Someone Else September 30, 2014 at 4:08 pm #

    you’re going to have to give us more insight than that 😉

    but i agree, they men not idiots and often times the difference between relationships with men and women, women and women, men and men—is that we have expectations for people that are either unknown to them, or unreasonable and we get upset when they are not met. at least, that’s my longwinded understanding so far.

    a good reminder, nontheless! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La September 30, 2014 at 4:27 pm #

      That says it well, my dear!


  4. Kathleen September 30, 2014 at 4:18 pm #

    My mother always said, men are like baths, once you get used to them, they’re not so hot.

    — rimshot.

    I have also heard that men are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken, and all the rest are handicapped.

    — also rimshot.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kathleen September 30, 2014 at 4:20 pm #

      Oh, I’m sorry, I meant ‘dudes’ are like baths.



    • La La September 30, 2014 at 4:26 pm #



    • Someone Else September 30, 2014 at 5:01 pm #



  5. Carrie Rubin September 30, 2014 at 4:44 pm #

    I gave up trying to figure out my husband years ago. But that’s okay. A little mystery’s always a good thing. Plus, he keeps my gas tank full, so I can’t complain. 🙂


    • La La September 30, 2014 at 4:48 pm #

      As long as he isn’t keeping his gas tank full until you’re around. Heyooo!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Shauna841505 September 30, 2014 at 5:04 pm #

    I love this post! I agree with your premise – I don’t think “men are idiots.” I think most women are. Women tend to believe what they want to believe, or believe that they can change the man’s idea of what he wants, if they only try hard enough. Let’s face it, we all (man or woman) want what we want and don’t want to be changed! Simple enough.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lori D September 30, 2014 at 6:31 pm #

    But really, they’re not that bright. And, this is coming from a woman, who many times, prefers the company of men over women. They aren’t catty, ya know? I also enjoy watching a couple different sports, and don’t enjoy the women who talk over it while I try to watch. I’d rather go to a sports bar and have a beer with my dude and watch the Bears. However, my bff and I have a saying about men, “Why do something once, if you can do it more than once?” Because, really, they aren’t that efficient at doing things around the house, and sometimes on the yard for that matter. I often wonder how many times my husband is going to ask me where something is around the house, when he’s gotten it there (and I’ve told him before), hundreds of times. I should mark these things down, it could be funny. Anyhoo, I’m preparing for a procedure tomorrow (a medical test), and already on drugs, so you’ll have to excuse this ramble. BTW, I’m jealous you got to meet Kourtney. I want to meet my blog buddies. Looked like a great time.


    • La La September 30, 2014 at 7:39 pm #

      I enjoyed this. Thank you for the ramble! Good luck tomorrow. Kourtney was great. And yes, lots of dudes aren’t bright. Bless.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. ddupre315 September 30, 2014 at 7:22 pm #

    Nicely done. I tend to get guys more than girls to be honest. Guys are pretty basic and they don’t mince words or emotions. In fact, most of the time if there is a question the answer is: sex.


    • La La September 30, 2014 at 7:29 pm #

      Much less drama involved. I like that.


  9. Anonymous October 1, 2014 at 4:56 am #

    Food – understand the relationship with food!


  10. battlewagon13 October 1, 2014 at 8:46 am #

    Oh crap. You cracked our code. Now we’ll have to develop more annoying habits.


    • La La October 1, 2014 at 8:53 am #



  11. Kourtney Heintz October 14, 2014 at 7:07 pm #

    That’s a great point La La. It’s so important to listen and hear what a guy says. You’re a way cooler person for it too!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Dan November 18, 2014 at 9:07 am #

    You’re welcome. Anything else we can do?


  13. weight2lose2013 December 6, 2014 at 12:42 pm #

    If you do crack the code, you must be sworn to secrecy! 😀 The future of remote control wielding men depend on this!

    Liked by 1 person

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