While I am usually a very sweet person, every few months I get overwhelmed by life and my crazy alter ego takes over and all she wants to do is yell at people, take off her clothes, shut off her brain and eat a quart of mint chocolate chip ice cream while watching some chick movies. If someone tries to stop her, she becomes a fiery, snappy bitch who has no problem cracking the skulls of those who get in her way.
This has happened ever since I was a child (except back then I would take off my clothes, demand a cookie and then go talk to my imaginary friends, a turtle and a mermaid, who lived in the sewer). My dad says that it happens when I reach my “threshold of stimulation” and he actually finds it quite funny because my whole personality changes. Here is a photograph that captures this phenomena:
He emailed me recently to say that while he was watching a Bridezillas marathon (I didn’t ask why that would even be happening), he found the woman who possesses me when I reach that threshold. Her name is Karen and she’s a crazy Italian from New York.
I would get mad and deny it, but he’s right. Hey, at least it isn’t the demon that possessed Regan MacNeill in “The Exorcist.” Here’s a taste of my alter ego, Karen, in action: