This goes out to all who have found true love, an eternal flame–the fortunate few who deeply and completely understand love at its very core. Thank you for reading.
Love is patient, love is kind,
it does not envy,
it protects, trusts and hopes
and all that jazz,
but mostly it requires a sense of humor–
like for when a dude watches you
put on pantyhose
or when your lady hears
you burping and peeing simultaneously.
Love is snoring,
endless sports and shows like Deadliest Catch.
It is killing spiders, boob sweat
and listening to her cry
when even she does not know
why it is happening.
Love perseveres,
and it will always find a way,
especially when we all practice
fart management.
Connecting the dots on his neck,
my lips making constellations
in the celestial sphere, exposed,
we smoothly spread in the vault of heaven
Verb
Some are lucky enough to
uproot, escape
the blind cacophony of
aahs and oohs,
and blend
freely, openly
into the Ultimate Verb
Eros, Philia and Agape
One soul, two bodies,
both with hopeful intensity
that transcends physical appetite.
My best friend, equal, alike in virtue,
we know passion without necessity of reciprocity.
Pure, this is love that consumes and surpasses all else.
At first I was like, “Is this my life now? Should I really publish a poem about a stray hair?” and then I remembered that I published a poem about a squeaky bra and also that this is my place to play with poesy and post photos and do what I please. So there.
____________________________________
A stray chin hair after the storm
O, stray hair! An insult
to time, thou art most unwelcome
upon mine chin or stomach or ample bosom
or wherever you decide to pop up next.
You are at your worst when coarse,
dark in shade,
and when my boyfriend is first
to recognize your sneaky, hideous violation.
Be gone, darkling, I beg!
Dissolve into the forest dim,
for I have enough hair, already experience
plenty of awkwardness–
The following haiku was inspired on a recent flight when the woman sitting next to me gave the flight attendant the finger:
Stay Wild
ripped jeans, snake-skin heels,
rocking that Joan Jett mullet.
doesn’t. give. a. fuck.
And now I shall present my SkyMall favorites from this particular trip (it changes every time):
From the creators of vajazzles and pejazzles, BootDazzles!…but this time with feathers.
Here’s a little something for all those folks planning to be alone for the rest of their lives.
Finally, my favorite of all the SkyMall gems–Hiccup Stick. It’s a stick. For hiccups.
OR just hold your breath.
Here is a video of testimonials for Hiccup Stick. Ladies and gentleman, I invite you to please keep in mind that it is a friggin’ STICK.
So what you’re saying is that I could go into my backyard RIGHT NOW and collect some sticks and sell each for $6.99 because of the hiccups? You’re joking. I’m wasting my life here, trying to make something of myself. Screw writing. Hiccup Stick, I am your new competitor. People, I will hunt you if you choose Hiccup Stick over my stick. I will sell my personal stick to you for one dollar cheaper, deliver it in my bathing suit to your front door and if you’re hot, for $4.00 extra I will give you a kiss on the cheek. Bonus feature? My stick was created by THE LORD GOD OUR SAVIOR. Just imagine, the Holy Trinity up in your mouth, helping you get rid of the hiccups.
Dog lover. Storyteller. Urbanite-Suburbanite. Poet. Music addict. Editor. Explorer. Wine enthusiast (Malbec, please). Anglophile. People watcher. My dream job? Writer, or a Tom Jones back up singer. Well, not Tom Jones now, but Tom Jones in the early '70s...so let's go with the writing thing.
