In my new religion, today is an important day. It is both my duty and pleasure to share the history of this sacred holy day with the community (just imagine that Andrew of Shut Up Dad and I am at your front door and you answer and Andrew hands you an informational pamphlet and NO your passive aggressive huffing and puffing won’t get us to hurry…so listen up).
It began long ago on a Tuesday when the mists of light arose through the darkness to animate and bring purpose to the First Meeting of the First Man and First Woman at Chi Chi’s…many years prior to the Mexican restaurant’s fatal hepatitis A outbreak. As I recall, I had a birthday party there in 1993 which involved a little birthday song that rhymed “birthday” with “olé” and then they gave my fat ass some free fried ice cream and a sombrero that I still own. No one even gives out free sombreros anymore, it’s so disappointing.
I digress. Apologies.
So anyway, the First Man and First Woman went to Chi Chi’s. Unto them many tacos and margaritas were served, which assisted in joyous conversation and a fine First Meeting. Thus, the First Man and First Woman celebrated, for this was a day the food gods had made, and it was good.
The two felt a spiritual connection, one likely brought on by the warmth of the western wind…or maybe just the excess of margaritas…perhaps both. Regardless, it led them back to his place.
Shortly after they arrived, a Mayan drum song began to play out of nowhere and kissing stuff happened and soon even touching stuff happened, too. Even though the First Woman’s mother insisted that all women who sleep with men upon the First Meeting are dirty little hussies and trollops, the two spent the night together as one in bliss. This ignited an eternal fire–it’s light was the mind’s first awakening.
A wolf’s howl can be heard every Tuesday at 10:32 pm as a symbolic reminder of this magical occurrence.
In remembrance, we are called to worship on this spicy Sabbath day through taco and/or margarita consumption, writing poetry and making sweet, sweet love with a consenting partner (or hand) while playing the video below because of the intense passionate music mixed and wolf pictures.
Seriously, if nothing else, do it to the video/song. The sounds of your love-making will reverberate off the rooftops, I promise.
Anyway, have a happy, safe Taco Tuesday!
I like the part with the kissing stuff and the touching stuff and the taco stuff.
😉
I used to work with a woman (who was a lesbian, and that’s not really relevant to the story, but it was juicy gossip) who used to go to some bar every Tuesday for “Taco Tuesday” which I guess proves that this holy day is just not celebrated at Chi Chi’s, but throughout the land.
LikeLike
Ooo that is juicy gossip! Well now we know this extends throughout all the lands near and far! Go forth! Rejoice!
LikeLike
I miss Chi Chi’s
LikeLike
Me too, my mysterious friend.
LikeLike
hungry! Ima wait till 10:32 to commence festivities.
LikeLike
It’s best that way if you’re going for full effect, mamacita. Start the song at 10:31, though.
LikeLike
no, Im starting it earlier to practice my mating dance
LikeLike
Hmm good idea. I’ll do the same. Maybe we can choreograph something someday or just jump around in the rain to drums.
LikeLike
wet bib contest!
LikeLike
OMG woman you tickle me to pieces. I like your religion a lot. It must be good if it includes tequila. Giggle.
LikeLike
You’re welcome to be a part of it…or just drink tequila. It’s up to you, really.
LikeLike
Think I’ll do both.🙂
LikeLike
Just never mix spicy taco stuff with hand stuff, cause then you’ll have burning stuff!
LikeLike
Hahaha, EVERYONE needs to read this disclaimer. Hopefully you don’t know from experience.
LikeLike
Well, I have a comparable experience, involving muscle pain in my shoulders, massaging it with tiger balm and then going to take a piss — and, of course, forgetting to wash my hands.
I’m pretty sure it’s the same feeling, maybe worse.🙂
LikeLike
Hahaha
LikeLike
Also…I love Tiger Balm!
LikeLike
Ok, I’ve no idea what this is about, but never mind all that. I’m into any religion involving cocktails
LikeLike
I will be celebrating every Tues and alternate Thursdays just to make sure it’s covered.
LikeLike
You’re one of those Orthodox taco folks.
LikeLike
I am living in the Southwest…it’s obligatory
LikeLike
I just want you to know that I howled and did a little dance to the music. I need to find a Chi Chi’s immediately.
LikeLike
I was kinda hoping for Duran Duran’s Hungry Like the Wolf instead.
LikeLike
Well that would be more than acceptable. I love Duran Duran!
LikeLike
In my life, Tuesdays are Tickle Tuesdays… Today I killed off the president of the tickle society to potentially avoid it. (I know, you’re puking in your mouth.)
LikeLike
Hahaha no worries I only gagged a tiny bit!😉
LikeLike
Oh man, all this taco talk today is making me crave tacos. Is it possible the wolf also represents someone who missed out on tacos and became a Were-taco-wolf?
LikeLike
Yes…hopefully that won’t be you. Now get yourself some yummy tacos!
LikeLike
Funny. This is the format in which I wrote about the prince and the maiden’s 28th wedding anniversary on Friday. Except, I spared the readers any reference to the elder prince and maiden’s romantic life. No one likes any of those wrinkly images.😉
I’m toasting to Taco Tuesday!
LikeLike
Hahaha, a grand format.
LikeLike
this is such a lovely historic tale, should be in all the textbooks. totally forgot about the hep c outbreak too ) great post –
LikeLike
Chi Chi’s! That takes me back.
LikeLike
La La,
Can you come up with a day for non-consensual hand stuff…..preferably with pulled pork?
RR
LikeLike
This, my friend, is called an eating contest.😉
LikeLike
I don’t know what I’m more impressed with. That you also have a passion for tacos, or that you use words like “hussie” and “trollop”. When are we combining blog forces? We would need a team name of course. Wolf pack has a good ring to it, but it’s kind of played out. Just something to think about…
LikeLike
Reblogged this on idealipark and commented:
waaaww
LikeLike
Hm, I really want a taco. They sound so sexy now. (Of course, I just started a diet, so I’m pretty hungry anyway.)
LikeLike
Haha, so any food sounds sexy…I know how that one goes.
LikeLike
Well, my wife just made Toll house chocolate chips cookies and they taste pretty sexy. She’s not helping with the diet, but hey.🙂
LikeLike
We need more free sombreros.
What initiatory rights are there in this wonderful religion of yours? If I join but not my hand can sweet love making still happen or would that be a sin?
LikeLike
It can happen–there’s no such thing as sin in this religion. That’s what makes us so cool!
LikeLike
Oh, what a relief. I don’t want to be no sinner.
But, on the other hand, thinking I’m a sinner sometimes makes all my deviant sexual behavior more exciting… Maybe you should have some kind of “opt-in” on the sin question?
LikeLike
I may need to study this religion more. Of note, if you ever want the most awesome tacos on the planet: Taco Tia on Colton Ave. in Redlands, California. Just saying. While you’re down there, you can find an In-n-Out hamburger place and graze. You will want to buy two airline seats for the trip home, but you won’t care.
LikeLike
If I ever go there, I will eat said tacos in your honor!
LikeLike
Too funny!! Used to go to Chi Chi’s in MN, years ago. I wonder if they are still around. Anyway, really enjoyed your piece!
LikeLike
Ok so technically it’s Wednesday as I read this and am writing this.. but YAY! My boss and I were discussing tacos today. I’m making him a taco hat now. I was telling him about this awesome homemade tacos by me. Then he was like Yay! And I was like YAY! And the was like this is so us… http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.5031409163108567&pid=15.1
And I was like yay! And he was like, I want a taco hat, and I was like, ok! I’ll make you one and he was like, like this? http://i493.photobucket.com/albums/rr295/emmaelaineo_photo/Taco_Hat.jpg
and I was like.. only not so real like.
And life was good!
LikeLike
I want that hat….life really is good hahaha. Thank you for sharing this!
LikeLike
I’ll make you one too. Once I get it just right!
LikeLike
Never has a simple taco meant so much to so few.
Viva salsa.
LikeLike
viva!
LikeLike
This is so beautiful. It also reminds me of a sleazebag I met at a bar many years ago who referred to lady parts as fish tacos.
LikeLike
Classy guy right there.
LikeLike
I feel like I should go back and eat another taco at Jack in the Box in solidarity of this post.
LikeLike