In Defense of My Absence. Sort of.

24 Jan

Many of you have complained that I don’t write enough. First of all, in my defense, it’s kind of hard to write from inside my purple comforter that I’ve been rolled up in like a taquito ever since arctic air began chilling my actual bones. This is what we have going on today:


Screen Shot 2014-01-24 at 10.23.54 AM



Or, according to my friend Paula, it’s Baby, It’s HOLY MOTHER OF GOD I NEED MORE LAYERS Outside. Her area is far more frigid though, so I shouldn’t even be talking (which isn’t a reference to her lacking any sort of sexual responsiveness, as she seems to have no problems there. But I’m not calling her a hobeast or anything, either! Well, maybe a little bit. Would you just read her blog already? Jeez).

The second reason I haven’t been around is that my boyfriend moved in and suddenly I do weird things, such as go on dates instead of writing alone while drinking wine from a bag.

The third reason, which sucks to admit, is sheer anxiety masked by busy work. As you may recall, there’s supposed to be a book in the works, but every other day is spent worrying that you will hate it, so I withdrawal and claim something important is going on and the idea isn’t revisited until about 2 weeks later. It’s a vicious cycle. Sometimes I even choose exercise over writing just so I don’t have to do it. Can you believe it?

Embarrassingly, I’m writing this post right now for the very same reason.

The weird thing is that the stories in the book thoroughly delighted others, and that is the ultimate goal, so I don’t know what my problem is. I’m stuck, people. I’m stuck and I’m a wuss and it’s time to admit it.

So…that’s it. There it is. Judge me as you will (although I would prefer some encouragement or advice).


65 Responses to “In Defense of My Absence. Sort of.”

  1. Ruby Tuesday January 24, 2014 at 12:33 pm #

    I haven’t any advice, so I’ll just tell you keep working at it, it will be wonderful because you are wonderful and I cannot wait to read it!


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 1:13 pm #

      In my head I just replied to this with OH PLEASE. But ok, ok, I’ll work on it. Thank you.


  2. Madame Weebles January 24, 2014 at 12:37 pm #

    You know I cannot help but judge you as delightful.


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 1:15 pm #

      Well that’s just silly, although I appreciate it.


  3. The Bumble Files January 24, 2014 at 12:46 pm #

    Keep writing! Every day is a new day. I’m having trouble, too. I can’t seem to keep up a blog (however minimally) and work on my writing. All of the other stuff!! Take it little by little. I’m going to write today. How about it?! I’m going to check in later with you.


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 1:40 pm #

      Ok, fine. If I must. I’m only doing it if you do it, though. 🙂


  4. Carrie Rubin January 24, 2014 at 12:51 pm #

    If all writers quit writing because they worried others would hate their book, there would be zero books out there. Because we all worry about that. Some days we’re convinced we’ve got the next Harry Potter on our hands; other days we’re convinced it’s pure crap. Hopefully we have enough of the in-between days, which are the most honest of days, so that we can finish the thing once and for all. Keep writing!!


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 1:40 pm #

      Ugggggh, thank you. Tell your pants guy to go bother someone else!!


      • Carrie Rubin January 24, 2014 at 2:34 pm #

        So that’s where Mr. Nasty Pants has been–bothering you. I thought it was awfully serene in my head lately.


        • La La January 24, 2014 at 2:43 pm #

          Hmph. I guess when I criticized him he latched on. Well just let me know when your done so you can take him back. Thanks!


  5. Sean Smithson January 24, 2014 at 12:57 pm #

    Oh man, I’m glad you’re back. I had no idea that there was a book in the pipeline. But then again, why would I as I only discovered you very recently…

    Anyway, I know you already have many awesome people around you who will no doubt be encouraging you to push on and complete this book (if not, they should be); so my thoughts are somewhat redundant.

    But I hope you do put down the bagged wine (I honestly didn’t even know that such a thing existed) and see this through as if it’s anything like your blog, I will most certainly be all over it like a STI (we actually say STD in the UK but I’m trying to fit in with you and your friends).

    I should probably leave now.


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 1:39 pm #

      Thanks, dude. I love your blog, and I hope to do more reading and be all over it like a big old sheet and then you get a bunch of bites because bed bugs and jesus christ, Sean, you should have stayed at a better hotel.

      Okay, I’m really not all that good at this.


  6. El Guapo January 24, 2014 at 1:04 pm #

    Ha! I’d judge you, but it would really be me talking to myself.
    Does boyfriend know all the stories? What if you write them one at a time, then the two of you can laugh (or whatever is appropriate) over them.

    Besides, I’ve got this money burning a whole in my pocket, and how am I gonna spend it if you don’t publish? 😉

    (And going on fun dates is definitely a good excuse for not blogging!)


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 1:25 pm #

      He does know them for the most part, but that’s a great idea. That way it isn’t me getting freaked out about the big picture and it is broken down into pieces. Also, we can maybe do this on a date so it isn’t weird for me–2 birds one stone.

      El Guapolopolous!!!!!!! Thank you! Hopefully we can get you spending that money on something already! 😉


  7. theclocktowersunset January 24, 2014 at 1:44 pm #

    Hey, I got a rabbit and a hat. I always say when writing/telling a story, start in the middle. That way if you ever get stuck just throw that puppy in reverse. 🙂


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 1:50 pm #

      Interesting, I like it. I’m writing these things down. Also, will you or will you not be providing the Impala?


  8. The Cutter January 24, 2014 at 1:49 pm #

    Sounds like you need someone to stand nearby and shout generic supportive advice. Perhaps Richard Simmons is available.


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 1:53 pm #

      HAHA. Well, he certainly isn’t doing anything else. Aaaand maybe we do Sweatin’ to the Oldies right after and then I give him some advice on short shorts? I like it!


      • The Cutter January 24, 2014 at 1:58 pm #

        What kind of advice could you offer aside from: “Keep wearing them. The look is totally working for you!”


        • La La January 24, 2014 at 2:08 pm #

          Fair point. Also, please watch this video. I just found it and I simply could not continue watching until I shared.


          • The Cutter January 24, 2014 at 2:19 pm #

            I am shocked that he lasted. Like my mind is completely blown.


            • La La January 24, 2014 at 2:22 pm #

              Me too, especially in that outfit.


  9. Twindaddy January 24, 2014 at 1:59 pm #

    If this is the same book I’ve gotten a couple of sneak-peaks at then I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I loved it.


  10. R. Hans Miller January 24, 2014 at 2:00 pm #

    I know exactly what you’re talking about. It’s weird that writers get “stage fright” when we aren’t anywhere near an actual stage. Just sit down and write. Every writer I’ve asked about this said that the only cure is to just DO IT.


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 2:03 pm #

      It is weird, isn’t it?

      What if I just DO IT and it’s the worst thing ever? Hmm, I guess at least it would be out there. Should I run and hide once I’m through?


      • R. Hans Miller January 24, 2014 at 2:05 pm #

        Well, I figure that knowing whether or not it’s good is better than the regret of never having tried. Also, you can always give it to your mom, and she’ll reassure you that it’s awesome. That’s what moms are for.


        • La La January 24, 2014 at 2:15 pm #

          I could get spaghetti out of this mom deal, too. Good thinking. Thank you. 😉


  11. Pigeon Heart January 24, 2014 at 2:33 pm #

    hi!! we patiently await your coming out of hibernation and your BOOK! All is ebb and flow my darling. Stay snug!


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 2:41 pm #

      I miss you and I thank you.


  12. Lori D January 24, 2014 at 2:59 pm #

    Miss La La! I was just thinking about you and wondering where you’ve been. I figured you might be on fb, so I thought about looking for you there, and then I couldn’t remember your last name. I have no clue how to use twitter, and I don’t have a smartphone.

    Good to ‘read’ you again.

    Like Carrie said, I think most writers are petrified, or at least this writer is. Carrie even posted about how she fears clicking publish on her blog, and I learned I was not the only one.

    Having said that, I hope you don’t mind my sharing a little something that helped me grow a bit of a thicker skin. I joined a writer’s critique group. Okay, so it’s been six years since I joined, and I’ve since been named the leader of the group. But, in the early days and weeks of getting my work critiqued, sometimes I came home in tears. I persevered, and it has helped me hone my writing like I never knew I could. I’m sharing this in case it’s something you’d like to consider. Six years, and I still get nervous about showing those dozen group members my creative writings. But, it helps me to have more confidence in getting it published, because they help me fix it. I don’t know if this is making any sense at all, but there ya go.

    And, here I thought you were so busy with your bf, you didn’t have time for your old friends anymore (and I don’t mean that I’m your old friend, I’m just old, heh). Come by and see my blog on Monday if you get a chance. I’m putting up a story that seems like something that would happen to you.


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 3:25 pm #

      I can’t wait to read it.

      Thanks for the advice…I imagine I would also be in tears. That had to be hard, but it seems like it really helped you. Creative writing classes in school felt similarly, and going back to that is hard to imagine!


  13. paulasg75 January 24, 2014 at 3:22 pm #

    Look at me, I’m all famous now and shit! I’m totally using ‘hobeast’ in a sentence today, too. Instead of a book, we should just get our own TV show or advice column. Seriously, I’ll be the sidekick. Like Ed McMahon, except slightly less hairy.


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 3:27 pm #

      Ok wait, you’re onto something… (even if you aren’t very short or overly hairy). I feel like a TV show would be amazing, right?


      • paulasg75 January 24, 2014 at 3:48 pm #

        Uhhhh… Yeah. We should make it La La and P-Dogg’s Bitchin’ Pajama Party EVERY SINGLE DAY. And we would have so many snacks!!!


        • La La January 24, 2014 at 3:52 pm #

          Every now and then we would have someone come on and teach us how to make really simple, delicious snacks that don’t take much effort all…and I LOVE the name. I wish I had video editing skills and we could tape us having a skype date and just talk in our pajamas about dating and whatever and eat and eat all the snacks!

          Stay tuned for La La and P-Dogg’s Bitchin’ Pajama Party EVERY SINGLE DAY!


          • paulasg75 January 24, 2014 at 4:48 pm #

            I think we’re onto something here. We’d be just like that girl who gets drunk and cooks, except way better, because we’d be in our jammies and we could give people drunk advice as we munch on various chips and nuts and finger foods.


            • La La January 24, 2014 at 4:49 pm #

              In all seriousness, I love this plan.


            • paulasg75 January 24, 2014 at 6:41 pm #

              I actually do, too. We just need a smart person who knows TV stuffs. What about Katie Couric? You know her, right?


            • La La January 24, 2014 at 7:00 pm #

              We do, and yeah we’re totally still besties (we aren’t).


  14. wakeupyourluck January 24, 2014 at 4:16 pm #

    Don’t judge your writing! Just write. Then read it and edit it as you would a friend’s!


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 4:23 pm #

      I’m not opposed to trying that. I think maybe I just think too much. Thanks for your comment!


  15. jayne January 24, 2014 at 5:29 pm #

    LaLa – You are SO obviously on a highly covert mission of research. Your boyfriend or “co-conspirator” as I like to call him, most likely shot you up with a drug to make you forget. You’ll come out of it when planned and then you’ll have what you need to finish your book. All of this is just your cover up story you are telling us and yourself. Duh. Hey – I hope your wearing your Chu Baka outfit in the cold weather. Jayne


  16. mollytopia January 24, 2014 at 6:33 pm #

    You can count on me for a pre-order : ) Sorry you’ve been feeling stuck – I can totally relate. Wine in a bag is always a good idea by the way. Keep up the great work on the book lady – you’ll be on the book tour before you know it.


  17. ddupre315 January 24, 2014 at 6:57 pm #

    Oh there you are! Have you tried dedicating a specific amount of time every day to writing? Even if it’s just reading through what you already have or jotting down ideas. I’m not a writer so I have no idea if that would work but when I have something I want to work towards, designating time during the day seems to help.


  18. talesfromthemotherland January 24, 2014 at 10:35 pm #

    I’ve finished my novel, and sharing it is still the hardest thing ever! Other than getting it published! 😉 Oh, the waiting for editors and publishers to get back to me, that sucks rotten eggs too.. Suffice it to say; you are normal. 😉


    • La La January 24, 2014 at 11:08 pm #

      Thinking of self publishing… how long did it take? How did you do it? I know that is a loaded question haha.


  19. Maddie Cochere January 25, 2014 at 12:59 am #

    Keep writing, La La! I’m in line for a copy. 🙂


  20. gingerfightback January 25, 2014 at 1:40 am #

    It will work itself out – sounds like you is loved up!


  21. Jen and Tonic January 25, 2014 at 1:56 am #

    I am ALWAYS judging you, FYI.


  22. kenthinksaloud January 25, 2014 at 2:45 am #

    I’ve been somewhat absent from the scene myself so I know what you mean (my boyfriend didn’t move in however – the wife would go mad 😉 ) – good to hear you are, at least, wanting to write a book. I think that would be very cool indeed 🙂


  23. Bob January 25, 2014 at 10:02 am #

    One day at a time La La, I’ve been toying with the idea of writing something more substantial also. But like you I have writers fear. So now it’s becoming more of a book on my photography.

    As for the cold, it’s been really cold here in Winnipeg, even for us. It’s been regularly between -25 and -35 Celsius BEFORE wind chill. It’s playing havoc with the city infrastructure. Broken water mains everywhere, horrible driving conditions, andcloser


  24. Kathleen January 25, 2014 at 4:30 pm #

    I see what you are doing here. You are ‘forcing’ people to go to Paula’s blog (their words – on Paula’s blog) so that when your absence continues people will have something good to read. —- That’s so nice of you 😀


    • La La January 27, 2014 at 1:53 pm #

      (sssshh don’t tell the others)


  25. David Stewart January 25, 2014 at 9:32 pm #

    I don’t have any advice except try not to be anxious, cuz everything is going to turn out awesome. I’m an eternal optimist and I know it.

    On another note, I hope it warms up there soon. Come over to Korea, it’s…marginally warmer here.


    • La La January 27, 2014 at 1:53 pm #

      Thank you! We got a small break, but the cold comes again tomorrow. Korea here I come!


  26. becca3416 January 28, 2014 at 11:30 pm #

    Here is your encouragement. At least you are trying to make it happen. I have two books started in a lousy Word document on my old lap top with nothing but a title…which goes against my philosophy of NOT committing to a title until you have finished the piece/post/book. So go you!!!! And for the record, I’ll be there with my wallet WHEN you finish, not if you finish. Because you will.


    • La La January 30, 2014 at 10:23 am #

      Aw thanks…that sounds a bit like mine to be honest, except I don’t have a title–a few stories though, mostly unfinished.


  27. kindredspirit23 February 2, 2014 at 1:36 pm #

    Other than the monetary rewards, I would suggest you take this approach: It doesn’t matter if anyone likes the book. Write it because it would mean something to you to write it, then let it go. I used to be the way you are, now, I am able to do something and if it doesn’t work – I try again or move on.


    • La La February 2, 2014 at 2:20 pm #

      Thanks for your advice, Scott. That means a lot and I think it is perhaps the best thing one could do in the situation. 🙂


      • kindredspirit23 February 3, 2014 at 1:10 am #

        Well, in my case, it took me having a stroke to be able to let go and do things. I was always too hung up and up tight. I believe people can do what I did without having a stroke. God simply reached me the only way I seemed to pay attention. 🙂


        • La La February 3, 2014 at 1:13 am #

          You had another chance, and now I know your advice means even more. Thank you.


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