We had a meeting this morning. When it was over, this guy Ricky asked for my office phone number so I could give him more details. So I gave it to him and then said in my proudest, smoothest voice, “Ricky, don’t lose that number.”
Yes, my friends, it was a perfectly executed joke about one of Steely Dan’s most popular songs, “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number.” Not only that, but it was expertly delivered to the perfect audience–a room full of 40-50 year old men who all appreciated it and laughed…except for Ricky. My smile faded as he sat there looking at me blankly. Then, the most preposterous thing happened:
______
Me: You know, like the song by Steely Dan?
Ricky: I don’t know Steely Dan.
______
Weird.
I let it slide, but I’ve been stewing ever since. Really, Ricky? How is it possible to have zero knowledge of Steely Dan when you’re an American man in your 40s–especially if your name is Ricky? You’re actually telling me no one has used that line on you before? Do you have a radio? Can you hear? Do you even enjoy music?
Are you really saying your friends never mentioned it? That’s impossible. Clearly you have no friends or the worst friends ever.
You know, it’s not like you have to be in love with Steely Dan to know the song. You don’t even have to know the song is by Steely Dan. What’s important is that the majority of American men over the age of 25 have heard “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number,” even if it was just at the grocery store or in a friend’s car or something.
That includes you, Ricky. I know you’ve heard it and I’m on to you, you monster.
Phew.
So get this, you guys. As I was sitting here writing this and stewing away, I got an email. From Ricky.
Ricky went right ahead and lost my number. Unless he’s a great liar, he may not even understand how funny that is. What an ass.
I refuse to give it to him again. Surely this is a sick joke or some kind of plan to make me lose my mind. Whatever. You can go send my middle finger off in a letter to yourself, bud, because you’ll never win. Do you hear me?
You’ll NEVER WIN.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfZWp-hGCdA&feature=kp
tales of a charm city chick 
Pod person. No doubt about it. You’re lucky to be alive.
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I KNEW IT! Thank you. I’m so glad I got out of there.
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Crank The Dead Kennedy’s “Give Me Convenience of Give Me Death”. It will cause Pod people to disintegrate when played at a high enough volume.
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Good idea. I will send it in an email and see what happens.
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Let us know.
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OMG…how in the hell can he not have heard of Steely Dan? Grrrrrrr!! he’s pissing me off and I don’t know him. 🙂
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Maybe he was in a room for the first 40 years of his life.
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For all you know, he could have been in THAT room for the first 40 years of his life.
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Had to be. I’m really dumbfounded over how he wouldn’t have heard of them.
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I second Eric’s comment.
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I could NOT have told you that it was Steely Dan, YET recognized the line when you said it. Because of your age bracket, I dont really know why YOU know the song, but HE SURELY should have. Ricky is obviously a clone or something.
I also can pull from memory, and cannot tell you the band, 8-6-7-5-3-0-9
Ricky should know that one too.
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Oh I’ll be sure of it!
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I bet he knows Phil Collins – Don’t Lose My Number.
Meh.
If he hires you as a consultant, please charge him for every minute of the musical education he so desperately needs.
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Actually, that could be a great job. Hmmmm…
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Sure, up to the point where you need to start banging your head on the desk to relieve the pressure…
The guy I sit next to knows NOTHING about music.
It’s painful…
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Oh noooo! My condolences. We must have have good parents and friends and radios and ears.
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Our typical conversations:
Me – have you ever heard of…
Him – No. Who are they?
Me – Why do I even bother…
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Oh, come on, is he kidding? I mean, that email sounds like something I’d have written just to be sarcastic. Are you sure he’s not joking? If he’s not, what a durfwad!
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This is why I am going nuts. Is he playing with my MIND!? How long must I endure this torture!?
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I wish I could tell you if he’s playing around or not. Have you known him for long? If so, does he seem that stupid?
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He does seem rather off, and I am with a bunch of scientists. This could be the real deal here, Lori. Time for an intervention.
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He must be an alien. That’s the only explanation.
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I trust your opinion–I’ll report him.
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You were perfect!! Ugh, I can’t believe that line was wasted…maybe its something with the name?
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He must be out to get me. That’s all I can figure.
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He obviously has poor observation skills with very limited auditory abilities …is he the boss’ son?
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No, but they are friends. I love that connection.
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There HAD to be a logical reason!
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It sucks when you have to explain a joke. What a tool.
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For real.
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This is so cracking me up, La La!! Ha ha. How can he NOT know about this, indeed! And, then he loses it?! What?! Ha ha. I just had to listen to the song. It’s one of my favs.
P.S. Sorry I didn’t get back to your last comment. I need a coach, too. Don’t despair. Just pick up your writing where you left it, like no time was lost at all!
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Don’t worry about it (not referring to Ricky, you can worry about that). I know, I know, though. I am too hard on myself, I guess. Listen to your own advice too!
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Yes, I try to. Keep it up, my beautiful swan.
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AWW!
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Strange you should say that about Ricky. I saw the title in my e mail and that’s where my brain went! Without even seeing your post. Buy the way who names a kid Ricky, unless you’re a family of racoon’s or a vaguely Latino band leader married to a crazy redhead.
Jeeze some parents are just cruel, of course I don’t know Mr. Ricky’s linage could be he’s got some Alabama wood critter in his blood?
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I’ll do some research. He does have quite large circles under his eyes. Hmmmm..
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Do you know what Steely Dan is/where they got the band name? Hint it’s from a book.
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No clue. Sounds like a funny dildo.
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Ha! I do love your mind.
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It’s like when you reference a song or film to someone and they say, ‘Er..that’s a bit before my time. ‘
If there there was only some way of recording media for future generations to enjoy
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You should get on that. You’ll probably make hundreds.
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Steely Dan…?
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Ricky? Is that you?
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I’m so embarrassed right now.
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ok you MUST spend an hour every night listening to music from the 70’s and 80’s. Music isn’t all just Justin Beiber and Miley Virus.
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I just finished listening to “Wheel in the Sky” thank you very much.
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Well done young grasshopper
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Dooooon’t know where I’ll be tooommmoooorrrow
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That’s just stoopid. I am quite impressed that YOU know the song, young lady!
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Guess I grew up on classic rock!
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I grew up on classic rock too, but at the time, it was just called ‘rock’
hahahahahahaha 😀
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Hahahha
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Maybe he has a super dry sense of humor. Because if that were intentional, sending you an email stating that he had lost your number would be freaking hilarious. How is it that he has not been fielding that remark on a daily basis for his entire adult life? Disturbing. You might want to change your number. In case he finds it. Oh, and thanks for putting that song on a loop in my brain. It could be worse.
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I’m waiting for him to tell me it was a dry, quick reply, but he didn’t even crack an itty bitty smile. I’d be amazed if no one said it to him before though. Good luck falling asleep with that in your head…it really could be worse. John Jacob jingleheimer smith, for example.
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I laughed so hard reading this. Thank you.
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Yay! So glad. 🙂
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This is so funny, La La. Yes – don’t give him your number again. From here on out, if he messages you, respond to him in song lyrics only.
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It’s truly a brilliant idea.
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🙂
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ok first of all…a 40 year old still calling himself Ricky? Hmm…suspicious right there. Maybe you should respond to the email asking if he has Jenny’s number.
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I spat my beef ribs out laughing. And they’re bloody expensive!
In defence of Ricky, and sorry to all whom I offend, Steely Dan is like the lamest band ever, and that song kills me anytime I hear it. Just kills me. Feels like a song from a 70’s soap opera that plays at the end of an unsatisfyingly-unerotic love scene. Cue the commercial.
But thanks for the laugh, honestly, that was pretty awesome.
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Haha thank you. That’s the thing though,–you know the song! I am not a fan either, but I know the song. I hope you salvaged the rib bits as I would HATE to have you waste any. I love ribs. I’m starving and now imagining that unsatisfying, unerotic love scene….eeew.
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Sorry… I can’t finish the ribs, they’re beef ribs, too big. I’d send you some if I could…
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SO JEALOUS.
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Sorry. If it’s any consolation, I’m stuck in a strange town in the middle of a snow storm with no place to stay and no clothes or toothbrush or anything…
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Ok well that doesn’t help…. and I hope you have a place to sleep?
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I found one! All’s good.
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Yay!
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He’s gotta be lying. Just to sabotage your joke. Or he’s lived Amish all his life up until a year ago. I do love the karmic justice of him losing your number though. Bet your boss loved that!
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Tough break. I think Ricky has all the makings of a successful corporate career. The attributes he has displayed point in this direction.
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You made me snort and laugh in the most grotesque, unlady like manner! Thanks LaLa!
Do you know of the film, “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble?” Maybe you were not born yet but that movie scarred my already traumatizing childhood and now, I’m certain that this Ricky guy IS that boy now a man losing your number. It’s like the full circle. This episode is giving me closure. Thank you, thank you!
Bises,
Dawn
PS: I think the boy died at the end….so much for closure.
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Brilliant LaLa – I’m not even American and even I know this reference! He should be shot – or awarded a prize for the most fantastic dead-pan drive-LaLa-nuts-humor! 😉
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At first I was gonna say, “well played”,. Then his response…..hmmm… I think that and with the addition of the email, he might very well be fucking with you. Either way, my other first comment was and is to make your out going message, instead of you know: “You have reached the desk of the charm city chick, she is unavailable at the moment, please leave a message.” to… you guessed it, RICKY……… BTW, I think I read somewhere Steely Dan is named after a porn character or something, in regards to Bob’s question above.
Also, I did have John Jacob Jinglehiemer Smith running through my head all day today. Strange you mentioned that.
CTS
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Weird about the song…assuming you aren’t fucking with me, haha. 😉
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Oh, and I’m from up north too and we swear like sailors. It didn’t til just now cross my mind to watch my tongue, I apologize if my language is offensive. Please edit to taste.
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No problem. I don’t cuss as much anymore in my posts because my father found the blog and yelled at me. You can say fuck all you want though!
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Sorry for commenting just now, I liked it as soon as you posted but then got a fit due to all the laughing and only recovered my motor functions now.
No, well, I was at a work conference.
Anyway here I am – this was HILARIOUS! Even I know the tune and I’m a bloody foreigner who visited the States once!
I so, so, so hope he was playing you. If he did, that would be brilliant and I would become instant friends with him.
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Work conference/laughter fit. All the same. 🙂 He was likely playing me…I just really like to win in those moments haha. Xoxo, hope you’re well!
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I love winning like that, as well, I’m sure you did 😉
Thank you! I’m recovering, physically and emotionally.
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Good, as this is better than “stuck.” I’ve been keeping you in my thoughts!
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Sometimes I think ‘stuck’ would be better, haha! But thank you so much for your thoughts xx
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You know, I agree. Thinking and emotional work is such a pain in the ass!!
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People are unreal. Like did you know that Twindaddy had never heard of “The Gambler” before I brought it up? Seriously. Know when to hold ’em. Know when to fold ’em. I don’t even like country music and no way could I have ever missed it. He has problems.
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Know when to walk away, know when to run. Wait, really? I don’t like country either and I know all about it. Oh, Twindaddy.
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You shall rue this.
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STEELY DAN! How hilarious!
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🙂 🙂 haha, thanks for stopping by, Ashley!
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I’m listening to the song now after looking it up on Youtube. I’ve never heard it before in my life, although I hate to admit that since you might de-friend me. 🙂 Maybe I get a pass since my name isn’t Ricky.
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You do, you totally get a pass. If you name were Ricky I would first tell you to grow up and use the name Rick already and then I would be all mad and get on a flight to Korea just to shake you.
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Sounds fair, although if you want to come over to Korea anyway, that’s cool. 🙂
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*Packs bags, escapes next polar vortex and snowstorm, shows up in Korea just shouting your name at the airport*
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it takes 4 hours for me to get to the airport, so if you can give me that much advance warning, I’ll be there 🙂
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Oh shit! Seriously?! You can’t make this shit up! And he ACTUALLY lost your number — hehehehe!
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What a weirdo. He should have known that line. Did he grow up in a cave??
I get irritated when I make a reference to some commonly known American thing and the American born and raised person doesn’t get it. I was in a convo with someone the other day and he claimed to have never heard of STAR TREK. How is that even possible??
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For real? That’s just ridiculous. I bet he was secretly obsessed with it or something and didn’t want anyone to know. 😉
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La Swan La,
Don’t be too hard on Ricky, he hasn’t deprogrammed from the cult as well as some of us and his head injury isn’t always obvious.
RR
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Fine. But only because you say so.
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Those guy sounds like a douche. First of all, I have a mistrust of men over 30 something who call themselves by their names adding y, like, Bobby, Jimmy, Dopey. Secondly, I was thinking of cutting that sind and asked my 24 y year old son I’d he’s ever heard it. He was insulted that I would. But the biggest tip off to douchedom to me is the email. “I have to prepare the a meeting so we will have to talk tomorrow”. Translation: I’m a very important person. Let’s get that straight from the start. I will make time for you when I can. Hell!,We all have stuff to do.Right? Sounds pretty insecure to me. Three strikes bud. And if he lost your number after all that, he wasn’t meant to have it!!!! Sorry for the rant. I adore men, just not the fools.
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Am I allowed to use the word ‘Epic’ around here? Or is that word off limits?
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It’s welcome as no one has ever referred to anything I’ve done or said as “epic” and it will likely never happen again. So thank you. 🙂
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Ha! Duly noted, and you’re welcome \m/
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Stupid Ricky.
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Yeah he’s pretty much a dick.
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Any major dude wil tell you that guy is a dork…
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