Oh hi, everyone. I’m drunky at the bar on a Wednesday watching baseball. Whatevs. Here’s what I’m thinking:
1. Lots of balls up in baseball. Long ball. Curve ball. Balls in general.
2. This bar is a sausage fest. Mmmm, sausage. No, but seriously. Lots of dudes.
3. Just had a shot of tequila. It’s gross, but I pulled it off as a sassy shimmy.
4. Yay sports!
5. My boyfriend just said “if I came back and there was caviar here, I wouldn’t be mad.” So he’s maybe wasted (don’t worry, MADD, we’re walking home).
6. I just showed this to him and he said he didn’t say it and now he’s talking about Seinfeld while I’m typing.
7. Now he’s singing Lady Gaga.
8. I just played “Who Let The Dogs Out” on the jukebox. Gonna play it again soon.
9. Can’t wait to go to the beach and swim with exotic animals and run away in the Honduran jungle and become their island princess queen.
10. Seriously. It will be so romantic and my dude will hold me like in those romancey novel covers and then I am going to hold a monkey and swim with jaguars and ride a horse down the beach with wind in my hair and you are all gonna be jeeeeelous.
11. Sean just told me to say Michael Jordan playing for the White Sox was amazing and ’90s Ken Griffey Jr. was also neat.
12. The bartender just made fun of the way I say “huh?” and my response was to make my monkey face and now they’re talking about the monkey face. I’m leaving. Bye. I love you guys. So much.
13. PS – Sean just said “the last time I saw 3 balls and 2 strikes, I was at a circus.” (K, bud.)
14. He told me to add “circus in Tijuana” but I don’t feel like editing.
15. He’s lucky he’s cute.
16. Him: Baby wants mozzarellas?
Him: You are my Sicilian baby queen.
Me: (900 million smiles for infinity miles and stuff)