Archive | May, 2014

Running on

9 May

 

He loved Jackson Browne. His favorite line from “Running on Empty” was “I don’t know when that road turned onto the road I’m on.”

“Someday you’ll see how it’s weird,” he explained to me, “to look back and remember what was and how it all suddenly became what is, although you’re not sure when it happened.”

It seemed like we heard that song everywhere. We heard it at the bar on our first date, months later on the way to the beach, at our first baseball game together and almost every Saturday at the grocery store.

I also heard it on the morning of his funeral, which I thought was some kind of cruel joke. And the next day. And two years later, it’s still everywhere.

I can hear the way he sang that one line under his breath and it haunts me, but not necessarily in a bad way. It’s one of my reminders. It’s just one of those things reminding me to live and make this all worthwhile, even if I have trouble listening to more than 30 seconds of it.

That 30 seconds is enough, and just as I feel the tears welling up, I turn the station and take a deep breath.

Hug people today, folks. Hard, and often.

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Sunrise

7 May

Sunrise-New-York

 

It sneaks in, pouring like warm honey
through the cracks of
my window shade.

The city streets stretch–
and slowly liven as
icy dew forms
upon my soul,

for I too must rise
and shine for another day of
absolute horseshit at literally the most

Mundane.
Job.
Ever.

Fine, sunrise,
you relentless nag.
I’m up,

but I swear I’ll quit today
if that bubbly,
know-it-all bitch, Denise,
doesn’t stop squawking about her wedding.

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Exciting Month

3 May

This is an exciting month. I’m running away to a private island off the coast of Honduras. Well, I’ll try, anyway. If they don’t want me to extend my stay, I’ll make my way to El Salvador. There are children in a village there I want to revisit. Or maybe you’ll find me in Mexico, instead, or Miami or Key West.

Before I do any of that though, I’ll be at the beach for a bachelorette party and back home for a graduation, anniversary party and a wedding.

Like I said, this an exciting month.

I’ll admit that secretly I had hoped all these celebrations, far off places and beautiful people would distract my mind from what happened, and what’s coming, but running away never works the way we intend it to though, does it?

It doesn’t matter where you go, you can’t escape people who never really leave when they’re gone. So instead, I’ll take the time to stop and remember. I’ll embrace it, and feel it. I’ll take time for silence, and to say thank you.

Then with my head held high (hopefully), I’ll continue down the path I’m on in this one wild and precious life.

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