Tomorrow is my birthday and there are 10 more lessons to go, so really this was just accidental, excellent timing. Cool.
20. If someone wants to spend time with you, he or she will. So…don’t stalk people. That’s weird. They don’t like it.
21. Gossip is for the birds. The gossipy adult men in my workplace are worse than high school girls and it is an unattractive quality no matter what your age or gender may be.
22. Be kind. For example, if you live in a townhouse, take down your wind chimes on nights that are windy as frick so your neighbors can sleep. This one is mostly just for my neighbor. Please consider this, neighbor, for my sanity.
23. Don’t take advantage of kind people. Assholes.
24. Take responsibility for your actions and own up. I’m tired of slimy, pathetic people who lie either to get what they want or lie to get out of trouble. Others will respect you for taking responsibility for your actions. Including farts. Take responsibility for those.
25. Give positive feedback and thanks to the people who work with you, for you, in customer service, your husband/wife/kids, students, anyone who does you favors etc. If you don’t, don’t be surprised when you find a human poop on your car. Underappreciation will impact the quality and loyalty of relationships, business and so on. I suppose I should be clear that I haven’t left a poop on any cars. Just thought about it. Intently.
26. Allow yourself to be vulnerable. This one is extremely important to me. Vulnerability is powerful. We live in a society that numbs vulnerability because most people see it as a weakness. I’d love to say more, but just understand that vulnerability is necessary for connection.
27. Everything in moderation. Except when it comes to drinking at your best friend’s wedding, of course. Go ahead and get trashed for that.
28. Food will not solve your problems. Not even cake or delicious Cheetos. I know, this is terrible news because I would do anything to have my problems solved by chicken wings. By all means, eat the cake and Cheetos and wings, but don’t allow food to numb feelings about what really is happening (whatever that may be).
29. No one knows what you are thinking. Voice that shit!
30. As important as it is to be you, you have to at least look like you give a shit. Don’t smell bad. Brush your hair. That stuff.
I have to go drink expensive champagne now. Let’s do this thing!