Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

How to Have a Happy Valentine’s Day

14 Feb

Here is how to have a good day today whether you’re happily married, single, your wife hates you, or your boyfriend is abroad:

1. Quit yer bitching and be grateful.

2. Look nice. Shave for once. It feels good to look good.

3. Wear something festive. Today my underpants are pink. It’s like a secret party in there that no one can see.

4. Eat a lot of M&M’s.

5. Give candy to your co-workers because the fatter they are, the happier you are.

6. Laugh at funny things on the internet.

 

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7. Fart on really pretty people. They deserve it.

8. Dance and/or drink excessively.

9. Eat more M&M’s.

10. Go to bed remembering that some people only feel special today while YOU feel special every day.

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