My NYE was definitely less eventful than last year (I had a fight with my ex-boyfriend about a cab, walked barefoot in the freezing cold to a hotel, got us a room and then tried to leave wearing nothing but a coat).
This year, when I got home from the bar I realized that my dog Porter’s whine sounds EXACTLY like Tim Allen. Prior to passing out, I felt inspired and wrote a haiku:
New Year’s Eve
I’m crunk. Fireworks–
Porter hears and whines like Tim
The Tool-Man Taylor.