It’s happening again–the mens wanna get with me. To be honest, I hate it when my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard because it’s always a weird mix of sex fiends and complete dorks.
All those fuckers are lined up around the block and they only want 1 thing–my 2012 virginity. Yes, it has been awhile, and it’s about time I give it up. Which one of those lucky fellas will it be? It’s going to be hard, but tomorrow I make my choice.
Will it be you? Yeaaah, you would like that, wouldn’t you? I bet you’re looking forward to bending me over my desk and showing me how good you are at your “sexy” man stuff. One minute of ecstasy never sounded so good.
I’ll do anything. you. want. First, though, you’ll have to get me nice and liquored up so I take off my clothes (a cheap bottle of wine should do it).
Now…first my heels, then my shirt…my skirt…. followed by my
Miraclesuit
Ahh..nice to breathe again….and oh baby, you’ll just lose your mind when I take off my
I know how you like seeing hard nipples. All the time. My left one is a little slow, but I want to keep you satisfied.
Oh, and please just ignore my “my breast friend” cooling patches–it gets hot in that body suit….
…and finally, you’ll lick you lips when I remove my leopard print booty pop panties.
It best be perky if you have to stare at it, darling. I’ll just keep on my makeup until you pass out.
Sexy Saturday, here I come (and if I don’t, I guess while you’re snoring I can just go ahead and take care of that myself)!
tales of a charm city chick 
I didn’t know about those breast coolers. Got to get me some.
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Right? Those are actually a good idea. I could wear them when I run.
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As a woman who only recently learned what Spanx were, all these “enhancement” gadgets were an eye opener, once again reiterating why I can never stop reading the blog of a single, twenty-something woman who’s about to get…
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Spanx — panty hose on crack.
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Somethings are better handled by yourself. 😉
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That reminds me, I need to go back to that amazon site you posted about last month.
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*gulp*
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Love it. You women are so complicated!
I think I’ll hold onto my 2012 for longer than you.
At least you have local sex fiends!
FM
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You men are, too! Good luck out there.
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Whew, I read this title in my email notification and thought you were talking to me? Heh. I was going to tell you to count me out! Perhaps you have some devices at home that can help you with that? I’d personally not give mine up to some skeeve who doesn’t care about me, but what do I know? I’m too old to care so much anymore. ;-P (P.S. hope you don’t go looking for that coach who asked if you wanted to fuck, bleh)
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Oh no worries, Lori, I have standards 😉
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haaaaaa. good luck gettin a piece tomorra, hot stuff. shouldn’t be too hard. (;
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Thanks babe!
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You kill me. Whoever gets to pop your 2012 cherry will be a lucky man indeed.
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I am the lucky one.
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Got to love the nipple bra. One to wear at a job interview perhaps? Although that wouldn’t work for me. Oh well good luck tomorrow. Erm, that also sounds like you need the luck when you don’t.
Oh, I give up. I can’t even pick a phone cover for my wife today…
Have fun.
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Hey…not a bad idea…and thank you. If you need help with that phone cover, let me know!
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really?
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A pretty girl like you don’t need luck, you just need to get out of the apartment once in a while.
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enjoy that minute 😉
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I’d rather get a minute with you!
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aw, thank you – i’m not sure i can last a full minute though
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hahaha, ok, well, 45 seconds would do, I guess.
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then we have a date 😉
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Hilarious! Good luck out there. I hope you find someone worthy 🙂
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Thanks buddy!
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Hahaha this was me two weekends ago (not the getting lucky part). Spanx may make you look flawless but they feel like absolute shit to wear.
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The funny thing is that we rarely even need it, but it really does give a flawless look. A flawless, breathless, gosh-it’s-warm-in-here-I-can’t-wait-to-take-this-thing-off look.
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Don’t feel too self conscious, my left one is a little slow too.
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You’re hilarious.
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approx. 23% of people suffer from LNS (lazy nip syndrome) I am running a 5K to raise awareness next week.
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It’s such an important cause. Stay strong, brother.
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BTW, I found this blog searching for the tag Booty Pop. It was one of 3 that came up.
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HA, well I googled it and the third result was “how to booty pop” so I clicked on it and then I felt like I entered a time warp of youtube videos. Thanks for that.
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well, seeing as how this evening has been earmarked for sexy love time maybe the videos were helpful. Just be careful with all that poppin you don’t spill your milkshake.
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Who ever needs plastic surgery? Sign me up for the butt pads please.
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haha exactly, so much less hassle.
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I love cheap wine too!
Bisous La La,
Dawn, Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you have on….
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You brought a box? Even better!
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Cool!!!
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Which ‘one’ of those lucky fellas? Why not take two and have them fist fight over you. The wiiner, is the winner!
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I am so down with this idea! You, sir, are a genius.
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Reblogged this on kylemew.com and commented:
form an orderly queue please gentlemen
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If this was ghostwritten it would be perfect 😀
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awesome!! Love it, sexy at first then hilarious!!
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Yay, you got it! Thank you.
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Of course!! sometimes I feel that way when I am trying to seduce a man, “ignore the pad and granny pants, its part of my sex appeal”
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hahahaha
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Lol. Love all those accessories. Best keep the lights off so the transition isn’t so startling. 😛
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simon and lala make me happy.
LaLa you are one Twisted Sister. I heart you.
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Nothing sexier than a miraclesuit.
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Right? Right.
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