Despite my strange Baltimore neighborhood, I love my unique 1940s house and I’m glad I bought it. My favorite room is the retro basement with wood paneling and shuffleboard vinyl tiles.
The best part about the house is that I don’t hear anything through the walls from my neighbors because there is an old married couple living on each side.
I have always assumed that in return, they hear nothing that I do. I didn’t know if that was true until today. When I woke this morning, I sneezed and my next door neighbor said “bless you” so I felt inclined to reply with “thank you” and he took it to the next level with a “you’re welcome.” I sat there for a moment, wide-eyed, jaw on the floor, wondering what else they’ve heard.
These things include, but are definitely not limited to:
- Intense singing
- Loud drunk talking
- Beer tears
- Pep talks I give to myself in the mirror
- Weird Skype sessions
- Theme songs I make up for myself
- The cusses I yell at insects that have invaded my personal space
- Dirty talk
- Blog posts being read aloud before I click ‘publish’
- Evenings spent practicing different types of laughter. I dabble, but my favorites are sexy laugh, cute giggle, guffaw, evil laugh, stupid blonde girl laugh, Muttley from Wacky Races, Beavis and Butthead, and that bashful buzzard from Loony Toons:
My friends, I shall remain forever horrified. Have a good weekend.