Archive | November, 2014

Drafts

26 Nov

I am thankful today and every day for family and friends, Rod Stewart, my unusual drafts on WordPress and, excitingly, my ability to finally complete a first draft of a book. Yay!

Seriously though, my unfinished WordPress drafts are weird. There are a few pieces I’ve started that make even me curious to know what I was planning to discuss and it would seem that the common themes throughout mirror those found in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (meaningless puzzles, nonsense, dreams, loss of innocence and so on).

My favorite draft, and I have no idea where I was going with this, is from a year ago and it simply says, “Your smaller boob doesn’t define…”

I’m sure whatever I was planning would have been laden with award-winning thoughts and unfortunately, we will never have the pleasure of exploring the depths of such profound intellect.

So, feel free to finish the sentence. I’d love to know what you think was coming next. The only thing I’ve come up with so far is “Your smaller boob doesn’t define you.” If that’s what I was going for, would I not have just completed the sentence with the word “you?” Was I really too busy to do that? Who knows.

Otherwise, have a wonderful Thanksgiving, everyone!

 

turkeylurkeydoo

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1 Corinthians 13:14-32

4 Nov

This goes out to all who have found true love, an eternal flame–the fortunate few who deeply and completely understand love at its very core. Thank you for reading.

swans

Love is patient, love is kind,
it does not envy,
it protects, trusts and hopes
and all that jazz,
but mostly it requires a sense of humor–

like for when a dude watches you
put on pantyhose
or when your lady hears
you burping and peeing simultaneously.

Love is snoring,
endless sports and shows like Deadliest Catch.
It is killing spiders, boob sweat
and listening to her cry
when even she does not know
why it is happening.

Love perseveres,
and it will always find a way,
especially when we all practice
fart management.

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