Tag Archives: writing a book

Book Design/Logo Progress

28 Mar

Waiting for someone to complete a design that will represent your published work is extremely exciting and nerve-racking, especially when it feels like it’s taking forrrevvveeerrrrr.

Throughout this entire process, I’ve learned that patience is key. One of the top issues that critics have with books that are “self-published,” is a lack of professional quality. That quality will only come from taking the time to research publishing and design and from hiring a designer if you aren’t one yourself. I have two designers, one is creating my logo and the other, my boyfriend, is designing the book. Without them, I would end up with a random picture with the title on it…..something like this:

ohmy

Regardless of whether that’s a great read, I found the cover on lousybookcovers.com and lord knows none of us want to end up there.

So, if you choose the path of self-publishing, try to be patient. Every aspect of the book deserves special attention if you want to end up with excellent quality. Also, if your designer is cool enough, he might share the progress with you so you don’t go super insane while waiting “forrevvvveeerrr” for the final (which is coming soon!):

IMG_20150314_141806

IMG_20150322_154046

Screenshot_2015-03-28-11-57-33-1

You can check out Jeremy Friend’s work and process on instagram @jeremyfriend and at www.jeremyfriend.com.


Advertisements

Drafts

26 Nov

I am thankful today and every day for family and friends, Rod Stewart, my unusual drafts on WordPress and, excitingly, my ability to finally complete a first draft of a book. Yay!

Seriously though, my unfinished WordPress drafts are weird. There are a few pieces I’ve started that make even me curious to know what I was planning to discuss and it would seem that the common themes throughout mirror those found in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland (meaningless puzzles, nonsense, dreams, loss of innocence and so on).

My favorite draft, and I have no idea where I was going with this, is from a year ago and it simply says, “Your smaller boob doesn’t define…”

I’m sure whatever I was planning would have been laden with award-winning thoughts and unfortunately, we will never have the pleasure of exploring the depths of such profound intellect.

So, feel free to finish the sentence. I’d love to know what you think was coming next. The only thing I’ve come up with so far is “Your smaller boob doesn’t define you.” If that’s what I was going for, would I not have just completed the sentence with the word “you?” Was I really too busy to do that? Who knows.

Otherwise, have a wonderful Thanksgiving, everyone!

 

turkeylurkeydoo

Monkeying Around

27 Jun

Guys, I haven’t been around, but it’s for good reasons. I’ve been writing a book, for example, and holding a monkey:

 

lisa

 

This is Lisa and I love her. So I’ve been busy in a good way, ya know? This also means I have only been by a few of your sites to read the stuff I enjoy. I’ll be back soon and I swear I’ll be visiting more often. Love you and miss you! Enjoy your weekend!

Kevin – A Possible Book Preview

7 Feb

Some of you have asked for a preview of my collection of stories. It is not finalized, and I may not even include this one, but feedback is more than welcome. Let me know what you think.

_________

About four years ago I began seeing a guy named Kevin. He was younger than I was, which was a change of pace from my usual interest in older men. He had a “top secret government job,” which I thought sounded sexy and mysterious.

Kevin and I had a lot of fun together. I liked his preppy style. He was a typical party guy who loved drinking and socializing, which was perfect because I also happen to enjoy drinking and socializing.

Our first date was to a really fun bar in the city on a hot Tuesday night. It was a perfect date, really, even if we did get a bit too tipsy. He was tall and I loved his cute nose sunburn, and the way he looked into my eyes when he bent down and tucked my hair behind my ear before he kissed me.

I have to admit that I am such a sucker for a hot date on a summer night with some cold drinks. Who isn’t?

When it was over he dropped me off at my house and said he would call me the next day. When he did, he invited me to meet his parents out on Friday for happy hour, and then he and I would go out afterward. It sounded fun.

That Friday I wore a pretty blue dress my mom had bought me for “something special.” I was excited, and I’ll admit a bit nervous to meet his parents on only our second date.

Kevin picked me up and we met them at a bar on the water in Fells Point, a really cute area in Baltimore City. His parents, Phil and Viv, easily were two of the nicest, most fun people I have ever met. They were young, hip and everything I could have wanted on a date with parents…until his mother took out a nail file.

It could have been the effect of the beer, but I swear to you that I watched in slow motion as his mother reached over to her son and began filing his nails. My jaw dropped.

“He doesn’t keep up with his nails very well, does he?” she commented.

“Err, I hadn’t noticed,” I replied.

“Well, he doesn’t. He’s not very good with his room, either. You’ll have to push him to clean.”

The whole thing lasted only about three minutes, but I am telling you that it was such an odd moment that I couldn’t help but comment on it later. “Kev, does your mom always file your nails like that?”

“Yeah, she does, she’s kind of a control freak.”

I kind of wish I had run at that moment, but do you think we should we really judge people immediately about things like that? He was younger than me, after all. Maybe he was just a bit immature, or maybe I was just making up excuses. I didn’t know, I was just glad it was over.

He and I went to another bar and got food and more beers and somehow we thought it would be fun to make a bet that for every beer I drank, he could drink two in the same amount of time. It turned out that he could, but as you can imagine after my four pints and his eight, I ended up drunk and he ended up extremely drunk. We kept laughing and enjoying ourselves, though. He was such a fun guy to be around!

Afterward, we decided to walk back to his house, hand in well-manicured hand. He lived about seven blocks from where we were and at block three he started picking up the pace.

“Why are we rushing?” I inquired, doubling my step to keep up.

“Sorry, I have to use the bathroom.” My roommates are out, so when we get inside just make yourself at”…and then, my friends, he pooped his pants.

Right then and there, Kevin farted and pooped his pants.

I got a cab home.

We never talked again.

Thanks, Boys!

22 Jan

Today I feel famous for being kind of a loser. Here’s why:

 

Screen Shot 2013-01-22 at 10.56.48 AM

 

First of all, Simon, Twitter Maestro and author of sweetandweak, retweeted me to well over 4,000 people. That dude is a tweet magician.

Then, Twin Daddy got his inspiration from me for his Daily Prompt. He would like to get a video of my nose whistling. Boys are funny. And gross.

Also, David Harding said he is including me in a book of his AND he read the mess that is the makings of my book (where yes, I am a bit of a loser) and said he loved it.

AND…I just walked out of the lab and someone made red velvet cupcakes, so I think today is pretty much one of the best days ever.

So, that’s why today I feel a bit famous and yes,  proud to be kind of a loser who has a nose that whistles at the worst times imaginable.

Ugh.

Thanks guys.

Finally, I won’t be around the blogs as much because I am trying to write more and goof off less. I’ve never been very good at managing my time for these kinds of things. I once wrote a 40-page paper in a one week (and got an A, mind you) and my teacher said I was the only one who followed the directions. Weird.

I will still write here, just not as consistently, and I will do my best to comment on your blogs because I enjoy reading them. You all make me laugh and cry and some of you turn me on and many of you inspire me so very much. It’s a wild roller coaster of emotions, really. Jesus.

If you’ve ever laughed and then cried after being horny because of people you’ve never met…you will know what I mean.

Wow, I just reread that sentence.

See you soon!

 

Humorist. Storyteller. Poet. Nose whistler who rarely follows directions and wins from being kind of lame.

Humorist. Storyteller. Poet. Ravens fan. Nose whistler who rarely follows directions.

 

%d bloggers like this: