How to Winter

3 Mar

Based on personal experience and observations of others, this is how to winter:

  1. Celebrate drink-related fake things during the week like “Taco Tuesday” and “Wine Wednesday” because as you age you suddenly need a reason to drink too many margaritas or glasses of wine on a weeknight.

  2. Look super pale and deathly like the objectified models in ads that can embed themselves into the subconscious mind (you go, girl!)

  3. Stare out into the night with your hand on the window and sing a made up, melancholic song to confuse your boyfriend. They like that.

  4. Sled or ice skate, I guess, if you like that sort of thing.

  5. Get out of town with your hubby for a weekend getaway to Cabo or the Caymans or whatever! Or, if you’re poor or single, or both, try wearing a bikini and cranking up the heat one evening and just pretend! It’s all the same!

  6. Complain about winter on Facebook until it finally gets God’s attention.

  7. Wrap yourself up in a blanket like a burrito. That’s fun.

  8. Try to blog, but delete every post because “it’s dumb.”

  9. Don’t worry about completing posts, especially when your boyfriend is loudly singing Janis Joplin in your ear. It’s distracting.

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14 Responses to “How to Winter”

  1. Carrie Rubin March 3, 2015 at 10:29 pm #

    I think #6 will be especially effective. Throw Twitter into the mix, and spring is bound to come sooner. Social media is behind climate change, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 3, 2015 at 10:32 pm #

      From what I’ve seen, it appears to be extremely effective (I think)!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. El Guapo March 3, 2015 at 10:33 pm #

    Just keep counting.
    17 days til spring.

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 3, 2015 at 10:34 pm #

      You too, buddy. Hope you’re well!

      Like

  3. Amy Reese March 3, 2015 at 10:50 pm #

    Wrapping yourself in a blanket burrito style is fun. Good times!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. David Stewart March 4, 2015 at 10:50 pm #

    That sounds like a good plan. Hopefully it won’t be necessary much longer. I hear it’s supposed to warm up next week here, or at least here’s hoping. Good to see you back, by the way. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 6, 2015 at 8:56 pm #

      Thank you. Agreed, and it is definitely supposed to start warming up! Woo hoo!

      Like

      • David Stewart March 7, 2015 at 8:08 pm #

        Today was above freezing. It felt like spring.

        Like

  5. Erin E. March 6, 2015 at 8:35 pm #

    I would feel 0% bad about getting sent home from work. Think of all the ways you could get sick in this weather! It’s better to play it safe and make like a burrito and keep warm. Spring is coming eventually, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    • La La March 6, 2015 at 8:54 pm #

      I do look sickly without makeup. He wasn’t wrong, and being a warm burrito is a whole lotta right. 🙂

      Like

  6. Trent Lewin March 8, 2015 at 7:20 pm #

    Hey your posts are never dumb. La La. Glad to see you back and about, eh.

    Like

  7. Ashley April 28, 2015 at 7:07 pm #

    I think I did at least four of these during our half-arsed winter.

    Like

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