Tag Archives: boss

That’s What She Said

28 Jan

Hope everyone is well. I had to share this real quick. Recently, I taught my 61-year-old boss the art of “that’s what she said.” He asked me what it was and ever so awkwardly I explained the turn of a phrase that changes its meaning to something more vulgar. This was about a month ago and thankfully the topic never came up again.

 

This morning he returned from a business trip and noticed my hair was different. Here we go. Enjoy.

 

Boss: Oh, you cut your hair. Did you donate it to Locks of Love?

Me: Unfortunately it was only seven inches.

Boss: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!

Me: You’ve been waiting for the perfect moment, haven’t you?

Boss: I DID IT! Was that good?

Me: Yes, I didn’t even see it coming.

Boss: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!

Me: I did this to myself.

Boss: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID! Thank you. I’m going to do this all day to everyone.

Me: So glad I could help. So glad.

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What’s in Your Bag?

12 Sep

Boss: Can I move your suitcase?

Me: It’s my bag. Sure.

Boss: Why is it kind of heavy?

Me: I usually have random, useful things in there.

Boss: Like what? A weapon?

Me: I’m not sure what’s in there right now. Let’s see.

 

The current contents of my bag (minus keys and lip gloss):

Exhibit A.

 

Boss: Really? A giant wallet, screwdriver, Under Armour shirt and shorts, banana, bottle of water, purple pen and hand lotion?

Me: You never know what you might need. Usually I have a mini Kleenex packet, a hair tie and a stain removal pen in there as well.

Boss: You’re a mess. By the way, there’s a young, new Italian guy named Donato on the 6th floor if you want to meet him.

Me: Is he cute? And I am not a mess! What if I’m hungry? What if I have dry hands? Go ask your wife what’s in her bag right now.

Boss: Okay…and yes, he’s 25 and very handsome. Blue eyes.

 

He leaves and comes back 20 minutes later

 

Boss: She has a wallet, keys, scissors, pen, toothpaste, pair of shoes and an orange.

Me: I rest my case…and sign me up for Donato.

 

 

 

 

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