Perhaps I just need to get laid, but…

24 Feb

Baltimore is just not turning me on these days. Look at this mundane, lifeless lab. I’m editing a paper about T cells. The only sound I hear is the humming of a centrifuge. This feels like the longest day of my life.

This science lab does not turn me on.

I’m sick of dead grass and brown buildings. I’m tired of seeing prostitutes, crazy people and sidewalk syringes.

I could use a stimulating conversation. Switch me on. Give me visuals. I want colors and life.

This is where I was 7 years ago….

Scotland turns me on.

Now that’s sexy. Even just the memory of this place flushes my cheeks and fills me with light. It makes me want to run as fast as I can and use the full capacity of my lungs. I want to scream loud and hear my echo. I’ll be back for you, rolling hills, and you better ravish me just as you did upon our last meeting. Or else.

Until then, I guess I’ll just have to use my imagination while I search ever so desperately for some Charm City inspiration.

Tags: Baltimore, charm city, scotland, sexy-cool, travels

Comments 18 Comments
Categories humor
Author La La

18 Responses to “Perhaps I just need to get laid, but…”

Maria February 24, 2012 at 1:21 pm #

HAH! I LOVE anything that starts with maybe I just need to get laid!!!

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- La La February 24, 2012 at 1:26 pm #
  
  Well it’s clear that Maria just needs to get laid 😉
  
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skeletonfingers February 24, 2012 at 3:14 pm #

Nothing says ‘turn me on’ like the city where Edgar Allen Poe died face down drunk in a gutter.

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- La La February 24, 2012 at 4:20 pm #
  
  Fair enough. His gravesite is on the campus where I work. It isn’t very sexy, either.
  
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  - skeletonfingers February 24, 2012 at 4:22 pm #
    
    Gravesites aren’t very sexy, but that can be remedied.
    
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Kristin February 24, 2012 at 3:37 pm #

I too long for the sexiness of the UK! Gillette, Wyoming is about the opposite of Baltimore, but equally unsexy…if you just want to get laid, however, an excellent location.

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- La La February 24, 2012 at 4:22 pm #
  
  I miss your pretty face.
  
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Kyle February 26, 2012 at 6:15 am #

i love this post and love how you write.

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- La La February 26, 2012 at 11:28 am #
  
  Thanks, Kyle 🙂
  
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Kyle February 26, 2012 at 6:17 am #

Reblogged this on kylemew.com and commented:
this blog is enchanting – i strongly recommend following

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- La La February 26, 2012 at 11:30 am #
  
  Wow thank you!
  
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Pete Armetta February 26, 2012 at 9:11 am #

I love the reminiscing tone of this, when you post the pic of where you’ve BEEN, it’s quite affective. Oh, and I love Baltimore!

Pete

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- La La February 26, 2012 at 10:24 am #
  
  Thanks, Pete. That is very nice of you. What do you like about Baltimore?
  
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  - Pete Armetta February 26, 2012 at 11:58 am #
    
    The food. And John Waters; the bay, the people and the grit.
    
    And more. 🙂
    
    Pete
    
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    - La La February 26, 2012 at 12:12 pm #
      
      All very good reasons. I can’t wait to have some beers on the bay this summer.
      
      John Waters picks up his mail at the book store that is 1 block from my house in Hampden (where Pecker was set/taped). I saw him once and we exchanged creepy smiles.
      
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      - Pete Armetta February 26, 2012 at 2:45 pm #
        
        I would LOVE to exchange a creepy smile with him hehh I love Pecker! I’m more a Pink Flamingos kinda guy though 🙂
        
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Pigeon Heart February 27, 2012 at 3:25 am #

sounds like it’s time for something new, girl. Do it!

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M and M February 28, 2012 at 2:19 am #

Since Baltimore is where I was alternatively raised, I’d say, “Yes, it is ‘The Greatest City in America'”!

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