Not those things. These things:
Once upon a time, my friend and I went to the bar, got drunk and she spent the night. We went up to my room and she watched me do my evening routine (above).
K: This is the least sexy thing I have ever watched.
Me: What? They say to use the Biofreeze and dog bone for my neck, the cast thing to keep my arm straight while I sleep, the sock thing goes under it and the green band so my hair doesn’t get in my face and make me break out.
Then I went and looked in the mirror and I was not hot at all, so I did a dance.
K: It’s still not sexy.
Me (air humping): Boys love it.
K: When’s the last time a boy saw your room?
Me (still dancing): 2011.
K: We are going to fix this, and when we do, no Biofreeze.
Me (doing some form of dougie): I know, I’ve already learned that lesson.
K: Poor guy.
Me (still douging): Poor me too! Don’t worry though, a hero will soon save me from sexual deprivation, I feel him coming.
K: Hah, coming.
Me (more douging): Come, let’s dougie.
And so we did, at 3 am, to no music.