Drugstore Exchange

10 Jul

A 15-year-old girl bought condoms at the drugstore at 9:30 pm last night. She smiled as she walked out the door. Behind her in line was a kind of hot police officer and behind the kind of hot officer was yours truly.


Kind of hot police officer to saleswoman: Looks like she’s going to have a good time tonight.

Saleswoman: What?

Kind of hot police officer: I can’t believe you just sold condoms to that little girl.

Saleswoman: I can’t turn her down. She’s a teenager, at least she’s being safe.

Me: Teen pregnancy rates are really high around here, I say good for her.

Kind of hot police officer: I would have been embarrassed buying condoms at that age.

Me: Sounds like someone was a wuss when he was a teenager.

Kind of hot police officer (giving me the evil eye): What does she know about ribbed condoms?

Me: Enough to be buying them, unless it was a fortunate accident and tonight she will find out the benefits of ribbed condoms.

Girl behind me in line: What?

Kind of hot police officer: She shouldn’t be allowed to buy condoms. I would have said no if she tried to buy them from me.

Me: What? First of all, there is no age restriction on condom sales and secondly, that girl is being safe. In fact, I’m going run after her and applaud her. I’m going to give her a high five for having safe sex!

Kind of hot police officer: What if she were your daughter?

Me: If she were my daughter and I found out after the fact, I would simply ask if she used protection, if she’s okay and if she has any questions.

Kind of hot police officer: Whatever ladies, have a good night.

Saleswoman: Honey, you sassed that officer.

Me: I know, I got kind of fired up.

Saleswoman: Well hey, please don’t run after that girl and clap, she might get scared.

Me: She’s awesome, but I woooon’t, I won’t.

Also, I saw a couple of Sesame Street updates today. Here’s my share–it’s “The Count Censored.”

31 Responses to “Drugstore Exchange”

  1. Christopher De Voss July 10, 2012 at 11:11 am #

    Did I read this right and you were going to give that little girl the clap?


  2. Madame Weebles July 10, 2012 at 11:13 am #

    I wish I had seen you sassing that kind of hot officer. He deserved it. He needs to be schooled on what’s up. You’d think he would know better, seeing what he’s probably seen out there.

    Meanwhile this version of that Count song is bleeping awesome—who knew a Sesame Street song could be made so funny and naughty just by bleeping out a word??


    • La La July 10, 2012 at 11:18 am #

      Right? You should check out those other videos. Unbelievable.


  3. calahan July 10, 2012 at 11:14 am #

    You should have bought a single condom and put it on the cop’s night stick. That way, the next time he hits someone, the ribbing will give them some pleasure beneath all of the pain. Just a thought.


    • La La July 10, 2012 at 11:17 am #

      Oh I like you, you’re funny AND you have amazing ideas.


  4. Kathy V. July 10, 2012 at 11:58 am #

    Seriously. How many of the moms around here are under the age of 20? An awful lot. If they’d been using condoms, they might still be in school, instead of pushing around a stroller while smoking and wearing “juicy” sweatpants. Ugh.


    • La La July 10, 2012 at 12:01 pm #

      Kathy, seriously. It frightens me. Also, if you ever see me on the street, you should say hello. I won’t be freaked out.


      • Kathy V. July 10, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

        I’ve actually been keeping an eye out, but I’m never certain that the pretty-young-woman-walking-down-the-street is you. I’m the tired-looking thirty-something redhead with an adorable Gerber baby and a red stroller.


        • La La July 10, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

          I will just walk around screaming “Kathy!” You’ll hear me one day.


  5. Carrie Rubin July 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm #

    So, we pound it into kids’ heads to use condoms, and then when they do, instead of commending their smart choice (yes, yes, abstinence first, but when that fails, condoms please!), people like this guy think they shouldn’t be able to buy them? Boy, with that kind of logic, one can only hope he makes a gold-shield detective some day…


    • La La July 10, 2012 at 4:38 pm #

      Exxxxactly. I hope I never see him again.


  6. Maggie O'C July 10, 2012 at 2:51 pm #

    Oh God! I have a 15 year old daughter but she wasn’t in Baltimore last night.


    • La La July 10, 2012 at 4:35 pm #

      Hahaha thank god.


  7. Simon July 10, 2012 at 4:21 pm #

    This makes me squirm a bit having daughters but I know what I was up to when I was 15 so I applaud you for standing up for her and sassing that cop. Good for her for at least being responsible.


    • La La July 10, 2012 at 4:25 pm #

      Sounds like we were up to the same stuff at 15.


  8. Carolina Courtland July 10, 2012 at 9:21 pm #

    The shocking part was that she was buying condoms….to be responsible.


    • La La July 11, 2012 at 10:32 am #



  9. Andrew July 11, 2012 at 10:22 pm #

    That cop was an idiot. In so many stores they lock them up and you have to ask for them. Nothing like picking out condoms and lube with a 60 year old woman. Luckily I was never that cool in high school, so this wasn’t a huge issue. But shit. Sorry, I got steamed up too…


  10. ladymiryaa July 11, 2012 at 10:34 pm #

    At least she is getting some…I cannot say the same. Hey. Does the drugstore have batteries? Just curious.


  11. Christopher De Voss July 12, 2012 at 8:53 am #

    Reblogged this on Christopher De Voss and commented:
    Starting a new segment on this blog called: Reblog Thursdays!

    It’s essentially where I lazily reblog someone else’s work instead of creating one of my own. Now before you discredit my efforts completely, I did have to read these ahead of time…without skimming.

    First up: Tales Of A Charm City Chick.

    A hot cop, our hero LaLa, and a 15 year old girl somewhere in Baltimore cross paths in a drugstore check out line. Bonus appearance by The Count from Sesame Street.



  12. rheath40 July 12, 2012 at 11:51 am #

    Honey I would have run after her anyway. I would have told her she was all kinds of awesome for being smart enough to have her bf or fuckbuddy wrap it up. There are way too many stupid young people running around fucking each other, bringing babies into the world and/or spreading disease. I’m glad you spoke up to that asshole. I would have too. Of course I’m the smart mouth momma that took both her son and daughter to get birth control BEFORE they started having sex with their partners. DUH! Talk to your kids about sex, it’s a fucking no-brainer. Laugh, and joke with them about it too. It’s a fact of life. People like him need to get over it.


  13. lettersformike July 12, 2012 at 8:25 pm #

    Well probably the point of the police officer is that the girl is too young to have sex. =) Just wondrin..



  14. babedarla July 12, 2012 at 8:45 pm #

    That cop is a douche….maybe they should box him up and sell HIM at that drugstore!


  15. bowzerscastle July 23, 2012 at 3:31 pm #

    LOLOL that is amazing. i need to hang out at the drug store with you more


  16. junelikethemonth July 25, 2012 at 10:09 am #

    oh la la, i love everything about this story, including you “sassing”: the hot cop…
    i work in a convenience store, and for a long time, we were finding open boxes of condoms (they were taking the condoms out and stealing them), at least two a nite…
    so i made a sign to hang by them: “please stop stealing our condoms, that is just sad when they give them away for free at the health clinic four blocks down the road”
    we haven’t had any stolen since then, and every customer that buys them now, tells us how much they like the sign,lol…
    and on a side note, when someone buys them, i always smile, and say “high five for getting laid and being safe about it” then high five them, they love it 😉


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