A 15-year-old girl bought condoms at the drugstore at 9:30 pm last night. She smiled as she walked out the door. Behind her in line was a kind of hot police officer and behind the kind of hot officer was yours truly.
Kind of hot police officer to saleswoman: Looks like she’s going to have a good time tonight.
Kind of hot police officer: I can’t believe you just sold condoms to that little girl.
Saleswoman: I can’t turn her down. She’s a teenager, at least she’s being safe.
Me: Teen pregnancy rates are really high around here, I say good for her.
Kind of hot police officer: I would have been embarrassed buying condoms at that age.
Me: Sounds like someone was a wuss when he was a teenager.
Kind of hot police officer (giving me the evil eye): What does she know about ribbed condoms?
Me: Enough to be buying them, unless it was a fortunate accident and tonight she will find out the benefits of ribbed condoms.
Girl behind me in line: What?
Kind of hot police officer: She shouldn’t be allowed to buy condoms. I would have said no if she tried to buy them from me.
Me: What? First of all, there is no age restriction on condom sales and secondly, that girl is being safe. In fact, I’m going run after her and applaud her. I’m going to give her a high five for having safe sex!
Kind of hot police officer: What if she were your daughter?
Me: If she were my daughter and I found out after the fact, I would simply ask if she used protection, if she’s okay and if she has any questions.
Kind of hot police officer: Whatever ladies, have a good night.
Saleswoman: Honey, you sassed that officer.
Me: I know, I got kind of fired up.
Saleswoman: Well hey, please don’t run after that girl and clap, she might get scared.
Me: She’s awesome, but I woooon’t, I won’t.
Also, I saw a couple of Sesame Street updates today. Here’s my share–it’s “The Count Censored.”