Color Me Creeped Out

12 Jul


I was just 7 years old when the song “I Wanna Sex You Up” by Color Me Badd came out in 1991 and I am wondering, did anyone think it was sexy? Men, did you play this song whilst laying a woman down by a fire? Ladies, did you hope any members of this group would sex you up?

Good lord, just look at those guys. Hey, George Michael, I didn’t know you were in Color Me Badd. And look at that one guy’s mustache–if that man said he wanted to sex me up, I would spray that ‘stache with mace and run away. Also, unless you’re going to be giving me Ambien, I don’t think it’s possible for us to “do it ’til we both wake up.” What an absurd thing to say.

I’m also wondering if anyone thought “Do Me!” by Bell Biv DeVoe was hot? Sometimes this song comes on SiriusXM 90s on 9 while I am driving to work and if I don’t turn the channel fast enough, it makes me feel like my ears are being sexually harassed.



No, I do not want to do you in the morning or in the night, but thank you for the offer, Bell Biv DeVoe. Oh, and no, you definitely can not smack it up, flip it or rub it down.

The last question I have for everyone older than me–have you ever actually been laid down by a fire? Have you ever laid someone down by a fire? I am just curious. I want to be laid down by a fire, but part of me thinks it would get uncomfortably hot in the room. That’s what happens in my imagination, anyway, and then we have to switch rooms and it’s like ugggh we should have just done it in this room anyway and then afterward, someone has to go make sure the fire went out and it’s kind of annoying to get up (because I know it would have to be me) and then I go to sleep kind of annoyed that I “have to do everything around here.”


42 Responses to “Color Me Creeped Out”

  1. kaiyasworld July 12, 2012 at 2:10 pm #

    I loved both of these songs back in the day (I was 14). Scary! Have to say that I agree, those guys are very creepy. They were probably singing about roofies. I think that’s the only way any of them would get some action.


  2. Carrie Rubin July 12, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    Gross. That first video reminded me of the SNL “D**k in a Box” song with Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg. So not sexy.


    • La La July 12, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

      Me too! I really thought of that hahaha. So funny.


      • Carrie Rubin July 12, 2012 at 3:21 pm #

        I don’t think I need to tell you how much my boys love that SNL skit. Though I had to draw the line on letting them rewatch the most recent digital short where Andy Samberg…um…should we say…pleasures himself…um…orally? That’s not something a mother needs to see with her 15-year-old son more than once, believe me.


  3. Madame Weebles July 12, 2012 at 3:50 pm #

    Sexy time by a fire really doesn’t sound like my idea of fun. I get irritable when I get too hot, so although a blazing fire sounds all romantic and stuff, I’m pretty sure it would take every ounce of horniness out of me.

    And I LOL’d at your talking about how you’d have to get up to make sure the fire was out and then getting pissed off at having to do everything around here. That would totally be me too!


    • La La July 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm #

      Then huff and puff to make sure he knows! 😉


  4. Christopher De Voss July 12, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

    Don’t forget about the bear skin rug by the fire.

    One of the dudes from CMB and one of the guys from NSYNC tried to form a band. The guy from CMB had gotten really fat. As you can tell it went nowhere fast.


    • La La July 12, 2012 at 4:00 pm #

      That’s so sad, it was probably the guy from NSYNC with that sprout on his head and fat Vanilla Ice from CMB.


  5. youjivinmeturkey July 12, 2012 at 4:14 pm #

    HAHAHAHA! O.M.G. Classic Creeped Out, Fo SHO! Thank You For The Laugh AND The Memories, La La!!! teehehehe


    • La La July 12, 2012 at 4:16 pm #

      You’re welcome, Brad. Thanks for stopping by!


  6. JWo July 12, 2012 at 4:53 pm #

    Damn, now I feel old. I was graduating high school in 1991.

    Think I’ll go put on some Ice, Ice Baby or Informer to help make me feel better.

    The only time I tried to lay someone down by the fire, or relatively close to it anyway (in a tent), I heard my friend yell, “My cooler is melting.” Totally killed the mood and scared me from ever trying again.


    • La La July 12, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

      Hahahaha fair enough. Fire shy.


  7. ladymiryaa July 12, 2012 at 7:20 pm #

    I would be afraid a spark my get to near my va-jay-jay from the fire. I always thought that those songs were creepy. Glad it wasn’t just me


    • La La July 12, 2012 at 8:21 pm #

      Never even considered that. Good call!


  8. Kourtney Heintz July 12, 2012 at 10:51 pm #

    LOL. Laying down on a bear skin rug by the fire sounds like a sweaty mess with possible sparks and burning of delicate bits. 🙂


    • La La July 13, 2012 at 7:48 am #

      I guess I don’t want to do that anymore 🙂


  9. becca3416 July 13, 2012 at 9:54 am #

    I have never been seduced in front of a fire, probably because it is never cold enough down here to make a fire. However, one time in the heat of the moment a guy asked me, “Can I have you now?”. With the straightest face and bad acting look on his face. I asked him if he was serious. It didn’t work out. He wore a lot of vests.


    • La La July 13, 2012 at 10:31 am #

      Becca, did he have a pipe? He sounds like a professor with ownership problems.


      • becca3416 July 13, 2012 at 10:50 am #

        Ha! Actually, more like an “actor” with normalcy problems. No pipe, but he did have an Armani cell phone and an actual cigarette case. All he had in his apartment was an air mattress, I am guessing because he spent all his money on a designer PHONE. I shouldn’t have even made out with him.


        • La La July 13, 2012 at 10:52 am #

          You should have made out with him, it’s okay, it makes a good story. This is why we’re here.


          • becca3416 July 13, 2012 at 10:53 am #

            I knew I couldn’t be the only one who thinks life sole purpose is to perpetually make-out with anyone. Yay!


  10. Simon July 13, 2012 at 10:31 am #

    Oh man, I love that a woman’s mind has the ability to actually think about the entire fire scenario, temperature change, risk of popping coals, clean up etc. A guys mind pretty much screeches to a hault at we’re gonna do it? Then fireworks and stuff go off in our imagination. That last paragraph was hilarious and I wanna sex you up will be in my head the rest of the day so thanks for that. Also, for the record, I own two sweater vests because sometimes I want to have a warm torso and look dashing.


    • La La July 13, 2012 at 10:43 am #

      It might just be my lady mind, which doesn’t matter at this point because you sweater vest outed yourself for the world to see and I love it. You must feel liberated. Warm torsos are really sexy, Simon, and don’t you forget it.


      • Simon July 13, 2012 at 10:50 am #

        My warm torso brings all the girls to the yard.


  11. Elliot July 13, 2012 at 11:38 am #

    A female friend of mine once said “I wouldn’t want to get seduced by a fire, I would be hot down one side and cold down the other. – A fire is an inefficient way to warm a room”. It still amuses me now.


    • La La July 13, 2012 at 11:40 am #

      Elliot, I think she was on to something…..I will keep that in mind 😉


  12. Maggie O'C July 13, 2012 at 7:16 pm #

    I’m going to show my age here but the whole by the fire thing makes me think of Rob Lowe and Demi Moore in About Last Night. No, haven’t done that with the shared head phones thing.

    I think it would be like any other crazy idea that seems sexy, ooo out by the lake! Can we do it in a swarm of mosquitoes? Take me now! Oh I broke my tail bone on the hardwoods (that’s what she said, well yeah she did.) Well you see what I’m saying.

    And yeah, that Sex You Up song is in my head but I only know the words ‘I wanna sex you up” and that’s it. Thanks so much.


  13. Andrew July 13, 2012 at 10:35 pm #

    Not only is it creepy, but how bad do you feel about all the children who were conceived to this song? I heard it even causes birth defects. One example was that it actually results in spontaneous creepy mustaches disease.


    • La La July 13, 2012 at 10:38 pm #

      Hahaha, thank god I don’t have that disease. Hopefully, Andrew, you don’t know from person experience.


      • Andrew July 13, 2012 at 10:39 pm #

        No don’t worry. My mustaches take 3 weeks to grow. So they happen few and far between.


  14. gingerfightback July 14, 2012 at 7:19 am #

    God these songs are utter tripe. Thanks for bringing back some happy memories!


  15. Carolina Courtland July 14, 2012 at 4:59 pm #

    You crack me up.

    “No, I do not want to do you in the morning or in the night, but thank you for the offer, Bell Biv DeVoe.” LMAO!


  16. Carolina Courtland July 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm #

    Okay, now I have that Sex You Up song going through my mind. Thanks.


    • La La July 14, 2012 at 6:17 pm #

      The pleasure is all mine. If it makes you feel better, now I have it in my head again because you mentioned it.


  17. Sheena July 17, 2012 at 6:30 pm #

    I was the same age but my cousin was about 13 she sang along to the cassette singles like all the time as well as my mom. I assume these were indeed sexy. You remember some Bobby Brown? Tenderonni? my mom rocked that when she met my stepdad, they were “hip” back in the day I think. They must have banged alot to these songs. Gross.


    • La La July 17, 2012 at 6:37 pm #

      Aaaww yeeeah girl you know they did!!!!


      • Sheena July 17, 2012 at 6:40 pm #

        He had a silk shirt that he wore tucked into pleated pants and she had a black dress with the biggest earrings of all time. That was their “going out” gettup. ha ha they would KILL me right now.


        • La La July 17, 2012 at 6:42 pm #

          HA. I kind of want to be your mom and step dad for Halloween.


  18. junelikethemonth July 25, 2012 at 10:18 am #

    wow, i said almost these same exact things at work the other day…i listen to pandora 80’s and 90’s and the shit that comes on, i think, “wait, why was this song ever cool?”
    i know the answer, i think…cause most of us were teens when they came out and we had no idea that the lyrics were absurd and not sexy,lol


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