I have received some very important, thought-provoking questions from my male readers. I found the following questions to be the most captivating and thought it would be a disservice to you all not to share them. Enjoy.
1. Q: Do you have standards when choosing a man to sleep with?
A: Really? What an odd question. Wow. Yes. I absolutely have standards.
2. Q: If we fly you to the south of France, will you have sex with my wife and I on our anniversary? It would be in 2013.
A: Love is a beautiful thing, no? So sorry though, I’m pretty busy that year.
3. Q: Did you really find out how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
A: Yes, and they sent me a certificate. I was 10 years old. Are you still turned on?
4. Q: Do you want to have a threesome with my wife and I? I’m not going to fly you to Florida, but I can take you to Disney World.
A: OH BOY, DISNEY WORLD! I need to find my autograph book!
5. Q: Would you be freaked out if I came to Baltimore to look for you without telling you I was coming?
A: Yes… and just so you know, I have mace and I bite.
6. Q: I read your interview on Crazy Chicks Club. Regarding the question, “what would you do if you were a man for a day,” do you really think all men don’t make their beds, fart a lot, walk around without shirts and impregnate every girl they know?
A: That’s just what I would do if I were a man for a day. “I have a penis,” I’d say, “I’ll do as I please” and then I’d saunter around and flex my muscles. Oh, and I’d call everyone “brah” and wear my sunglasses like I own the joint. It would be great.
7. Q: Do you have any Greek in you?
Q: Do you want some?
8. Q: Will you send me a picture of your ass? I’m an ass man.
A: The set up for that seems kind of ridiculous, don’t you think? I don’t have a timer on my camera and I refuse to google “How to take a picture of my own ass.” It all seems a bit time-consuming. Just saying.
Reply: It only takes a couple of minutes. See? Here’s mine: (he sent a picture of his ass).
9. Q: Did you really show your boobs to get ice cream at an ice cream truck?
A: Listen, guy. It was hot outside, I really wanted a Nutty Buddy and I didn’t have cash. There’s nothing further to discuss here.
I have yet to receive a #10 worthy of the spot. I will let you know when that guy steps up to the plate and we can all bask in the glory of him together.